The Worm That Turned
by Worth 12 of Malfoy
Summary: Severus Snape has never been better off. As he rises in the Dark Lord's inner circle, he seems ever closer to fulfilling his ambitions. But he is haunted by memories of his old friend Lily, now married to his enemy. As the stakes get higher, Severus must decide where his loyalties lie. Either choice means betraying one of his friends – and the consequences could be fatal [COMPLETE]
1. Chapter 1

Author's note

This is the sequel to 'Slugging It Out'. It is canon compliant and could be read as a stand alone story with knowledge of the seven HP novels alone, however it does contain mild spoilers and references to the prequel.

Chapter 1 – A Chance Encounter

A young man approached the house, dressed all in black despite the summer heat, his shoulders hunched as though against invisible rain. Watching him through the diamond paned window, Narcissa Black turned to her fiance. 'Here he comes, bang on time. I win, by the way. He clearly hasn't.'

Lucius came to join her, peering past to watch his best friend's progress to the front door. 'It's hard to tell. It always looks like that, even after he has washed it.'

Narcissa sniffed as she turned back to the room. 'Well, he'd better scrub up for our wedding. I still don't see why you couldn't have asked Roddy…'

'Because I can't stand Roddy,' Lucius pointed out. 'Besides, Roddy's hardly reliable. He'd probably handcuff me to a harpy on the stag night, and then lose the rings. Severus may not be the most sartorially savvy of my friends, but he is without doubt the most dependable.'

'Well, I'm depending on him to look clean and presentable. I'm not having him hanging around in the back of my wedding pictures like a greasy overgrown goblin, best man or not.' Her last words were accompanied by the sound of the doorbell. A moment later the new house elf appeared in the doorway and announced, 'Severus Snape.'

The hunch-shouldered young man entered the room. Narcissa gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes. 'Severus. Well, I'll leave you boys to it.' She slid out of the room, adding sharply to the house elf, 'Don't stand around wringing your hands, Dobby, hurry and serve drinks to master. Merlin, these stupid creatures take a lot of time to break in!'

Lucius gave Severus a much warmer smile and clapped his friend on the back. 'How are you, my friend? How are things at St Mungo's?'

'Much the same. Lot of dragon pox still about – don't look at me like that, _I _never go near patients unless I can help it, and certainly not ones that might be infectious. Anyway, they're giving me more interesting cases now. Another month and I'm fully qualified – usually it takes at least two years, but I've done it in one. Thanks,' he added to the house-elf, which had passed him a drink.

'Interesting, you say?' Lucius took his own drink without a glance at the elf, and indicated for Severus to sit. 'Interesting as in… Muggle?'

'I don't know why I bother telling you anything, you always know it already. Yes, some chump at the Ministry decided trying to heal the Death Eaters' victims is a lot safer than trying to stop the Death Eaters. So they shipped in a whole load of Muggles. But it turns out most of our medicine doesn't work on them. It's quite fascinating, actually. Potions which heal wizards, appear to be deadly poison to Muggles. Their constitutions aren't as strong. I should have liked to be given more chance to experiment, but once the Ministry realised we were more likely to kill them than cure them, they all got removed.'

'You didn't… examine them?' The look of distaste on Lucius' face was greater than when he'd imagined Severus in contact with pox victims.

'Not directly, I didn't touch any of course. I would have loved to do some proper research on it, provide some further proof that there is something constitutionally different about wizards. That we are more than just Muggles with wands.' The two old friends exchanged a wry smile at this last, a favourite saying of their group.

'Well, I'm glad they've given up on the idea. Our Healers have got enough to do without wasting their time on Muggles. Every minute spent on a Muggle is a minute stolen from a deserving wizard.' He sipped his drink, pulled a face, and roared, 'Dobby!'

The elf reappeared beside him with a pop. It cringed away from Lucius. 'Master called?' it asked, in a tremulous voice.

'How many times do I have to tell you the correct temperature to serve whiskey? That's another fine malt you've wasted. Go to the kitchen and beat yourself. And do it silently – we don't want to hear you wailing.' He turned back to Severus. 'I do apologise, it's new and incredibly stupid. Father took our old family elf with him when he moved out. One wouldn't believe the trouble I had finding another. If it hadn't been such a bore, I'd take the worthless thing back.'

Severus, who knew nothing of the problems of inefficient house-elves, made a non-committal sympathetic noise. Lucius had moved back to his ancestral home a month earlier, after his father decided to move permanently to the agreeable climes of Spain. Severus was still living in Lucius' London flat, though now Lucius had no need of it he wasn't sure how much longer that would continue.

Lucius unfolded the _Daily Prophet _and indicated the front page. 'Seen this yet?'

'Not today's,' replied Severus, reaching for the paper. He frowned at the headline and quickly scanned the text before looking up at his friend. 'We're planning an attack on the Pillar of Storge?'

Malfoy winced visibly at his pronunciation. 'It's _Store-gay, _Severus. Surely you've heard of it?'

Scowling, Severus looked back at the paper. 'Of course, I've only read about it though. I've never heard anyone say it. Anyway – since when did we threaten Britain's historic sites? That's the first I heard of it.'

'We didn't. That's just the point.' Lucius took the paper back and stared thoughtfully at the headline, _Ministry defiant over Death Eater threat to heritage. _'The Ministry have made it up. It's actually quite a clever ruse. They claim that we've threatened historic monuments, and so they send a load of goons to stand around guarding bits of rock. Then when no one attacks them, they claim a victory. They look busy and don't have to risk encountering any real dark wizards, and the public all feel pleased that their government has at last scored some points in the fight against the Dark Lord.'

'That is clever – for the Ministry.' Neither man had any respect for the government of wizard Britain, who were floundering desperately as Lord Voldemort and his followers gained in power. 'So what are we going to do about it?'

Lucius shrugged. 'Nothing, I don't suppose. Let them get on with it, and we'll get on with what we need to do. Of course, He will decide.'

A chill seemed to descend on the room at the mention of their master, and the two became quiet. Severus took another sip of his drink. He hated whiskey, but liked the cachet of drinking it, especially in the company of his wealthy friend. The pause was broken by the doorbell again, and Lucius pulled a face. 'Oh, I forgot to mention. The Lestranges are coming for dinner too.'

They exchanged a glance of mutual displeasure at the thought of spending a meal with Lucius' future in-laws. With great reluctance, Severus followed Lucius through to the dining room, where dinner was ready to be served. Bellatrix – dark as her sister was fair and attractive in a dangerous way – came forward to air kiss Lucius with the same enthusiasm Narcissa usually showed Severus. 'Have you put on weight, Lucius?' she enquired innocently.

'Always such a pleasure to see you, Bellatrix,' he replied, pulling back a chair for her. She sat almost daintily and smiled up at him with a mischievous glint in her eye.

'How are you, Lucius, old boy?' cried Roddy, clapping Lucius on the back so hard the slimmer man was almost catapulted into the soup tureen. Bellatrix's husband was a large man with an ill-advised moustache who was always darting glances at his wife as though awaiting instructions. 'Enjoying life as lord of the Manor?'

'One might say I was born to it,' said Lucius. 'Severus, do sit down.'

'Oh, Lucius' little _project _is here,' said Bellatrix, turning to smile wolfishly at Severus. 'Still ministering to the sick and injured, Severus?'

'I'm still at St Mungo's, yes.' He sat down, glad to get several feet of solid oak table between himself and Bellatrix.

'What a shame you aren't wearing that _charming _uniform! I'm sure lime green looks wonderful on you.' She lifted her spoon and sipped her soup, before throwing it down. 'Cissy, this is perfectly revolting. You really need to do something about that elf, show it some proper discipline. It's the only language they understand.'

Narcissa sighed theatrically. 'I've beat it until its stupid ears are almost falling off, but I swear it's congenitally useless. I asked Mummy if she would swap it for Looby, since I have such a _big _house now, but she wouldn't.'

Bellatrix made a noise of disgust. 'For goodness sake, Cissy, can't you even manage to train up your own house-elf? It's not like you do anything else all day.' She clapped her hands and called out, 'Elf! Get here!'

The elf appeared instantly, clad in its filthy pillowcase, and bowed so low its nose almost touched its knees. Bellatrix watched it with open disgust. 'Come here,' she beckoned to it, 'and tell me your name.'

'My name is Dobby, mistress,' it said, in its high quavering voice.

'Dobby…' Bella seemed to be turning the name over. She reached out and took the elf by the chin. 'Do you have a hard life, Dobby? Are mistress and master very cruel to you?'

The panic in the creature's huge eyes was plain to see. 'Master and mistress is good master and mistress,' it stammered breathlessly. 'Dobby tries to be good elf.'

'Of course you do,' said Bellatrix, in a voice dripping with mock sugar. 'You work hard all day long, and then you have to punish yourself for all the things you did wrong. What a horrible life it must be for poor Dobby!'

Not knowing what to say, the elf stared at her in terrified silence, its big eyes seeming to get even larger. After a moment or two, Bellatrix continued. 'Poor little Dobby, never gets any holiday, never gets a rest, has to wear an old pillowcase. He has such a nasty time!'

The elf's eyes were bulging now, so big and round that Severus wondered if they might fall right out of its head. It continued to make panicked, strangled sounds, and Severus realised that Bellatrix had gradually tightened her grip on its throat until her fingers were pressing into the windpipe. He knew that the slightest movement could kill it. The elf, struggling to breathe, seemed to know it too. It was rising onto tiptoes as Bellatrix moved her arm higher. Bellatrix's smile grew wider as the elf's skin began to turn a mottled colour.

Lucius cleared his throat. 'Thank you, Bella, that will do. I'd prefer it if you didn't kill my elf – though I'm sorely tempted to do so myself at times. Perhaps you could let it go so it can serve the starters. It would be nice to get through dinner before nightfall – we do have a meeting to get to after all.'

Immediately Bellatrix's face lit up and she dropped the elf. Dobby, gagging and gasping, crawled away in the direction of the kitchens. 'Tonight He might reveal His plans for the next year,' she began. 'I bet we'll take the Ministry next.'

Narcissa made a quelling noise. 'No talk about _all that _at the table, thank you. Now, did you know that Gulliver Pollux has apparently been seen with a mudblood?'

Conversation turned to the usual old family gossip. Severus ate his food in silence. He didn't know what was wrong with the elf's cooking – it all tasted fine to him. He wished he could afford a house-elf, even a supposedly useless one like Dobby. In fact, he wished he could have everything Lucius did, from his fabulous wealth to his solid pureblood credentials, his easy social charm to his sumptuous country mansion. Maybe one day…

After the meal, an uneasy atmosphere settled over the room. Bellatrix became restless, and paced around, picking up ornaments from the mantelpiece and putting them down, only to pick them up again. Narcissa continued her character assassination of everyone she knew, but there was a strained edge to her voice and she kept losing the thread of what she was saying. Lucius fiddled with the sleeve of his robe, rubbing at the forearm. Roddy played with the salt cellar, turning it over in his hands.

Lucius snapped his fingers, and Dobby reappeared. It had bandaged up its throat and looked very sorry for itself. 'Go and fetch the hoods and robes, Dobby,' snapped Lucius, and the elf went at once to do his bidding. The tension increased during its absence, Bella now standing at the window and staring out into the gathering darkness as though expecting to see something.

Dobby returned with his arms full of dark over-robes and hoods. In silence everyone but Narcissa collected a set and pulled them on over their own clothes. Bellatrix also donned the hood, the skull-like mask moulding itself to her face. Her eyes burned with a fanatical light through the slits in the hood. Lucius fussed with his robes, tucking his distinctive long blond hair carefully inside. Bellatrix made a disgusted noise at this. Narcissa remained seated, staring into her lap.

Finally the tension broke, as all four Death Eaters jumped, hands flying to forearms. Bellatrix gave a little shriek of delight, and disapparated instantly. Roddy and Severus followed behind. Lucius hesitated, looking at his fiancée. 'It might go on late,' he said softly, 'don't wait up.' Then he too vanished, leaving Narcissa alone.

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Apparating into the churchyard, Severus almost collided with another figure, similarly robed and hooded. Everywhere around, identical figures were appearing, all heading silently into the church. Inside, up to a hundred Death Eaters gathered. There was an unnatural hush, broken only by footsteps and the rustling of robes. At first glance they were homogenous, but closer inspection in the gloom revealed a range of heights and sizes, some with female curves. Some had dressed with less care than others, and bits of hair or clothing were visible at the juncture of robes and hood.

The building was beautiful, a traditional church with a high vaulted roof and wooden pews. Huge stained glass windows glowed, regardless of the failing light outside. On the raised area at the front, a lectern stood. Instead of the usual eagle, it consisted of a golden cobra, rearing up. The images on the windows were not of Bible scenes, but of hooded figures with wands, engaged in various exploits, or kneeling in worship of the man who now appeared before them in the flesh.

Although only of average size, his presence was so powerful that he seemed larger. He was dressed in robes like those of his followers, but wore no hood. His face was strange; flattened, with odd angles to the cheekbones, and his eyes gave a reddish glow. He raised his arms, and his assembled followers flinched back. 'Welcome,' he said, in a surprisingly soft, sibilant voice. 'My loyal followers, my Death Eaters. Bow, bow down before Lord Voldemort.'

The Death Eaters bent as one, in the best bow that could be managed in the limited space. Voldemort smiled, showing teeth that looked more like fangs. 'You will no doubt have been reading the _Daily Prophet_,' he continued. 'I am sure that you, as was I, were most amused to read of the Ministry's latest desperate ploy to appear they are in control. But we must not let that distract us from our work. Complete dominance of Britain is within our grasp, but we must not become impatient. Each one of you has his or her part to play. Each and every action committed in the name of Lord Voldemort must contribute to the grand plan.'

Here Voldemort paused and looked around at the masked faces of his followers. 'All of you know the plan and your part in it. You must continue, exactly as instructed, to carry out the work of Lord Voldemort, to further our noble cause. You must not fail. Remember well the fate of those who displease me.'

A short pause allowed everyone to reflect on the unpleasant fate of those foolhardy few that tried to leave the organisation, or messed up their assignments. Voldemort continued, 'I have matters to attend to overseas, and we shall not meet for some time. In my absence, you must carry out my instructions and if anyone deviates from those, I will know.' He paused again for dramatic effect. 'Lord Voldemort knows all, he sees all. There is nowhere to hide from me. I _always_ know.'

A few Death Eaters shuffled their feet, no doubt thinking of the things they'd rather the Dark Lord didn't know. For it was true, Voldemort had an unnerving talent for looking into the minds of others, taking what he saw there and using it to destroy them or bend them to his will. It was one of the most terrifying things about the Dark Lord, and one of the reasons his followers remained loyal even when their participation put them at risk.

Severus wondered what matters Voldemort had to attend to overseas, and whether it meant their activities would be expanding there shortly. He doubted that his master would be content with domination of mere Britain. Of course, it didn't pay to speculate too much about Voldemort or his activities – certainly not to speak of it. With Voldemort's uncanny ability to see into minds, Death Eaters even tried to avoid thinking about such things.

The meeting continued with more of the usual anti-Muggle rhetoric, the valediction of fallen members, and finishing with the pledge to Voldemort. Severus rather enjoyed these meetings. He liked the sense of belonging, the togetherness. But he also found it frustrating that he was no more than one of many, despite his talents.

Severus had joined the Death Eaters straight out of school, thanks to Lucius, who was part of the inner circle of those closest to Voldemort. Severus had been particularly desired for his skills as a Healer, already well developed even before he started at St Mungo's. He would never forget the initiation ceremony, in this very building.

The church had appeared different, a ruin. The windows were gaping jagged-edged holes, the stonework crumbling, the interior gutted by fire, graffiti daubed on the walls. He remembered gaping around as Lucius led him inside. He had knelt, terrified, before Voldemort, not daring to meet those reddened eyes. And yet despite his fear, excitement had flared within him. Voldemort was truly terrifying, truly powerful, truly worthy of his awe and respect. After being let down by so many people, here at last was someone who was clearly destined for greatness.

That night he knew with certainty that Voldemort would win. The very thought of him failing was impossible to even countenance. So he pledged his allegiance, meaning every word, and Voldemort touched his wandtip to Severus' naked forearm. A moment later terrible pain erupted, and he bit hard into his lip to stop himself screaming. When the worst agony died down, he saw that the shape of a dark skull with a snake emerging from the mouth was burned into his flesh. It ached painfully. But there was more. He felt a strange affinity, a sense of connectedness. It was terrible and wonderful, and he knew he'd never be the same again.

And as he looked up, he realised the church had transformed before his eyes, from a place of dereliction and despair to a glorious monument to the power of Lord Voldemort and his followers. That was his first taste of the power of the Dark Mark, his first realisation that this was not simply a tattoo. The Dark Mark was a powerful magical talisman, linking all Death Eaters and Voldemort himself, changing the way that he perceived the world.

He had squinted at the windows, trying to see through the enchantment. With an effort, he could just about see them as they truly were, broken holes. Voldemort spoke. 'You like to test the boundaries, I see.' He sounded amused, but Severus stopped immediately, shocked and mortified. 'You will not break the enchantments of Lord Voldemort. This is a trifle, compared to the magic I can perform. You will see, in good time.'

A year later, trooping out of the church, Severus reflected that he had seen remarkably little of Voldemort himself in the intervening year, let alone his magic. Mostly, he received his instructions along with the rest of his cell, from Lucius as leader. He felt a shiver across his Mark and Lucius' voice rang in his head, '_Wait for me under the yew tree._' That was another benefit of the Dark Mark, its use as a communication device. Of course, they weren't really supposed to use them for organising their social lives, but everyone did.

He waited obediently, until a tall hooded figure joined him. It spoke with Lucius' voice. 'You haven't forgotten that I need you to get the rings tomorrow?'

'Of course not,' he replied with a hint of irritation. He'd never yet forgotten to carry out one of Lucius' instructions.

'Good. You can bring them on Thursday before the cell meet, and dine with us. Then on Friday we will go for the final fitting of the robes and you can come to the barber with me – all on my account, of course. Cissy is very insistent about how everyone looks. See you then.' Lucius disapparated with a snap, leaving Severus with a sinking sensation. He was dreading the wedding. He was not looking forward to getting dressed up and standing around whilst all the pureblood elite sneered at him from behind their orders of service. Still, at least he knew his presence would annoy Narcissa. Every cloud had a silver lining.

He sighed, grasped his wand and turned on the spot. Before he'd revolved round to face the same way, he had disappeared into thin air with a sucking pop, leaving the graveyard to the owls.

/

The jewellers' was small and exclusive, tucked in a corner of Vertic Alley. It was London's premier wizard purveyor of jewellery, with prices ranging from eye-watering to astronomic. Despite being located at the heart of wizard London's shopping district, and the beautiful weather, the street was quiet. Several of the shops were boarded up, and a grubby hawker with a tray around his neck stood on the corner shouting his wares. 'Lucky talismans! Get your Protective Pendants today! Now updated to protect against eight kinds of dark magic!'

Severus sneered as he went past, knowing the 'talismans' were no more than cheap pebbles with at best a few shield charms on. He'd lost count of the number of people he'd treated for horrible injuries who were still clutching their useless trinket as though it might yet work its power to undo the harm.

Inside the shop, the assistant regarded him with disdain, until the name 'Malfoy' was mentioned, at which point his demeanour changed to obsequiousness. Severus was entreated to sit and wait for just a few moments whilst the rings were fetched from a secure room at the back. 'You can't be too careful these days, sir, you just can't be too careful!' oiled the jeweller, backing out through a doorway into the recesses of the shop.

Bored, Severus leaned against the counter, toying with his wand. He was wondering how long the robe fitting and hair cutting would take on Friday. He'd far rather spend his day off working on his latest potion, than dragging round with Lucius having people fuss over his appearance. In fact, he couldn't think of anything he'd less want to spend his day off doing than that.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by the shop door opening. A couple entered, about the same age as Severus. At the sight of them, he got the same sensation as when a broom entered a particularly steep dive. The man had dark, messy hair and glasses, whilst the woman had long red hair, and beautiful big green eyes. Severus could only gape, certain that even his heart had stopped.

The man, James Potter, saw him straight away, and his eyes narrowed in dislike. 'Well I never, if it isn't Snivellus Snape,' he said contemptuously. 'Got bored of murder and trying a spot of robbery?'

Regaining his senses enough to speak, Severus replied, 'Potty. I was rather hoping you would be dead by now. I heard you joined Dumbledore's Order of the Foolish. If you wanted to commit suicide, you only need have asked me, I'd have been most happy to oblige.'

'We both joined, actually,' said the woman, with dislike etched in every line of her face. 'We both wanted to fight. We hate the Death Eaters, and everything they stand for.' She glared at him.

Unable to bring himself to reply, Severus simply gazed at her, wishing he could think of something to say. Lily Evans was at least ten times as beautiful as he remembered her, and standing so close to her in this little shop, able to smell her scent and see the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed… he felt as though he was suffocating. To think he'd once been best friends with this woman! Spent their holidays together, riding their bikes on the moors, talking until even the long summer evenings grew dark. Sometimes it all seemed like a dream.

Mistaking his silence, Lily continued, 'What, too grand to speak to a Muggleborn now Severus? Scared I might contaminate you?'

'I'm not scared,' he blurted. 'I speak to Muggleborns all the time, I treat them. I'm a Healer, I'm a Healer now!' The last part came out as a yelp, which sounded desperate even to his ears.

James Potter laughed mirthlessly. 'Treat them? You put them there in the first place. You make me sick. I know what you do, Snape, maiming and torturing innocent people all night and then playing the hero the next day. Accepting thanks from those poor relatives who don't realise that the _great Healer _is really one of _them_. I can see right through you, Snape.'

'You don't know anything about it,' he snapped back, raising his wand.

Fortunately at that moment the shopkeeper returned, and looked alarmed to see Potter and Severus standing across from each other, about to duel. 'Yes? Can I help you?' he asked of Potter.

Immediately Potter was all easy charm again, pocketing his wand. 'Oh, hello, we're getting married this summer and we want to choose some rings.'

Severus felt as though someone had hit him hard over the head. His ears rang, his guts churned, his heart once again seemed to have stopped. 'Married?' he gasped.

Potter's smirk of triumph was the worst sight he'd ever seen. The jeweller however missed this completely. 'Oh yes, of course sir. If you'll give me just a moment to finish serving this gentleman. Here are the rings, sir,' he addressed Severus, producing two small boxes. 'If you'd just like to check them.'

Distracted, he looked at the rings. They appeared to be round, golden, and with a hole in the middle - which met the basic criteria for a wedding ring in his book. 'Yes, that's fine, wrap them up,' he muttered.

'You're getting married?' asked Lily in tones of great surprise, as the shopkeeper performed a wrapping spell and handed the parcel to Severus.

'Lucius. I'm best man,' he said, unable to articulate better in face of a direct question from Lily.

Her face fell. 'Of course,' she said flatly, turning away.

He felt a terrible urge to grab her, haul her away from Potter, drag her back to his flat and lock her away. But instead he shouldered past them, pushing open the door, falling into the relatively fresh air of the street. His eyes were stinging as he forced the package into the pocket of his robes. Over a year since he'd last seen her, and he'd thought it was getting better. He'd kept busy, suppressed thoughts of her, avoided anything that might remind him of her. All that, undone in one stupid second.

And she was marrying Potter. Her name would change to that of his enemy. He felt terribly sick as he staggered up the street. How could one person have such a dramatic effect on another? _She's nothing, _he told himself. _Just a stupid mudblood. She's below you, far below you. Just forget her._

'Protective pendant, sir?' called the hawker, hopefully. 'Keep the Death Eaters at – argh!'

Severus could move with great speed for one so apparently scrawny and ill-coordinated. The man was crushed against the wall, Severus' wand pressed to his neck. 'I wouldn't go speaking the name of the Death Eaters if I were you,' Snape hissed. 'You are not worthy to speak of them. And believe me, if the Death Eaters want to kill you, no number of stupid protective charms will make a difference. Understand?'

The trader tried to nod, then realised he risked decapitation, and whispered, 'Yes! I understand!'

Severus released his grip, kicking the man's legs from under him, and he sprawled on the cobbles. His tray hit the ground with a crash, protective amulets rolling everywhere. 'Grovel at my feet where you belong and beg me to spare you,' said Snape, feeling a thrill of power run through him, blocking out the pain for a few minutes. Sobbing, the trader did so.

It grew tiresome eventually, and Severus turned away in sudden disgust. He saw a face at the jewellers' window, the green eyes wide, the mouth downturned in contempt. Lily Evans was staring at him as though she'd never seen him before, as though he'd done something terrible. His heart sank even further. Once again he'd made things worse.

Author's notes

This story is primarily from Severus' point of view, hence the use of 'it' rather than 'he' for Dobby in the narrative text. The Pillar of Storge is a bit of a fandom in-joke. 'HP and the Pillar of Storge' was one of the rumoured titles for book 6. I included reference to its destruction in one of my earliest fan-fics, and decided it would make a useful plot device here. The story is essentially 'gen' fic, in that I do not focus on romantic relationships. However it does contain references to canon 'ships' - Narcissa/Lucius and James/Lily, and of course Severus' unrequited feelings for Lily.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Visions in Auburn

The alarm shattered the peace. Severus groped around, almost knocking the clock to the floor in his efforts to turn it off. With it silenced, he slumped back against the pillows, eyes shut tightly. A moment later, his mattress began to pummel him. 'Get up, you lazy so-and-so!' it wheezed.

Groaning, he rolled out and knelt resentfully on the floor, duvet still over him. 'One of these days I'm going to trade you in for a Muggle bed,' he grumbled. Cursing Malfoy's expensive charmed furniture, he threw the duvet back onto the mattress and picked up his wand before dragging himself into the kitchen. The kettle began to boil with a tap of his wand. In the bathroom, he pulled a face at his reflection, used the toilet and had a perfunctory shower. He hated getting cold and wet, and in under a minute was towelling himself down. He set the tea brewing from the bathroom with a few practised flicks of his wand.

Naked, he walked back through the flat to his bedroom. His work robes lay in a heap on the lush pile of the carpet. He picked them up and pulled them on. Lime green, with the crossed wand-and-bone logo of St Mungo's on the breast, they wouldn't be anyone's first choice for fashion. But from Severus' point of view they gave him something far better – status.

He made his way back to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. The flat seemed impossibly tidy. It wasn't too hard to keep a place in good shape with minimal effort if you used magic. It had been a different story when Lucius lived there. Having never lived without a house elf, Malfoy would leave things lying around all over the place and greet them the next day with a puzzled frown as though he simply couldn't understand why they weren't in the proper place. Not to mention the long blond hairs that clogged the drains, the endless puddles of scented potions he left all over the bathroom, the piles of robes waiting to be ironed…

Severus sighed deeply. Thinking of Lucius made him realise how much he missed him. Although he'd not particularly enjoying cleaning up after him, at that moment Severus would have exchanged any amount of ironing in order to have Lucius' company. Malfoy had moved out several weeks ago, but it was only now that it was sinking in that Lucius was never coming back there to live. It would never be the same again.

He'd enjoyed the last year, sharing the flat with Lucius, going off in their hoods on clandestine operations. They'd had fun. Lucius was great company, at least when he was in a good mood; witty, generous, and oozing effortless sophistication. When he wasn't around, Severus studied with just as much intensity as he had in his school days. Lucius referred to Severus' 'book habit' as though it was a dangerous drug, and tried to redress the balance in his friend's life by taking him out drinking with a crowd of other wealthy young purebloods. Severus wasn't much of a socialite, but he often enjoyed those evenings despite himself. Lucius' friends had it all, and the miasma of success that surrounded them drew Severus like a moth to a candle.

But all good things had to come to an end; that was one thing Severus had learned from bitter experience in his short life. He was still only nineteen years old, though he was often mistaken for older. He was better read than most people twice his age, and formidably clever. He had no gold, other than his meagre wages as an apprentice healer, and no family to speak of. Since the age of fifteen he'd been completely reliant on his own resourcefulness and Lucius' patronage. Nevertheless, Severus remained determined that he would eventually achieve the status in life that he felt he deserved.

In the kitchen he poured the tea and surveyed the contents of his cupboards. As usual, there was nothing to eat. Shopping was just one of the many basics of life that Severus neglected. He wished he had a house-elf like Lucius, even though to listen to Lucius go on you'd think it was harder work managing an elf than doing it yourself. He drank his tea, wincing as it scalded his mouth.

Thus prepared for the day ahead, he left the flat and exited the building, closing the door on one of wizard London's most exclusive addresses. The street outside was quiet, illuminated by weak early morning sun. On the old-fashioned wrought-iron lampposts, wanted posters entreated passers-by to be on the lookout for Death Eaters. Severus looked away quickly from one bearing the face of his old schoolfriend, Evan Rosier.

Rosier's exposure as a Death Eater had sent a shockwave around the young pureblood elite. Rosier had been a key member of Lucius' gang, from a well-respected old family. Nice looking and bright, he could have been a threat to Lucius' place as the _de facto _head of the group. It was only his relative youth that left him playing second fiddle to Malfoy. Who knew what might have transpired in years to come if things had remained as they were. But things had changed suddenly and completely, and Rosier's prospects went overnight from rosy to bleak.

Evan had been careless, although no more so than any of the rest of them, and he had the bad luck to get caught out. Now he was placed incontrovertibly at the scene of a Death Eater atrocity and not even his father's money and influence could get him out of it. Bartemius Crouch, the implacable Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, had set his sights on Rosier, and now every Auror in Britain was hunting him.

His name was no longer mentioned by the gang, a taboo that they painfully skirted. Everyone had scrambled to disassociate themselves from him, to find reasons that he had brought his fate upon himself. No one wanted to face up to the truth; that it could just as easily have been any of them. It was no more than simple chance that it was Rosier's name they were hastily expunging every link to. But they all thought it, deep down, and it had added a current of unease to the group dynamic.

So Severus avoided looking at the wanted posters, and tried to block thoughts of Rosier from his mind. He stopped at the corner shop to buy a paper. As always the shopkeeper treated him with great deference, thanks to the St Mungo's robes. Severus responded with little more than grunts and left the shop hurriedly, but slowed in the street to read the headline.

_Pillar of Storge will be safe says Crouch, _he read. There was a picture of the man himself, wearing a bowler hat and ridiculous little moustache, posing in front of the Pillar. The angle made it look as though the distant monument was growing out of Crouch's head. It rather undermined the valiant attempts of the picture to look stern and threatening.

Severus couldn't be bothered to read the story, and folded the paper away. He disapparated and moments later he was striding up to the apparition point outside St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. The security troll checked his ID and allowed him through. The foyer as usual was full of witches and wizards milling about in various states of distress or injury. Severus disliked patients greatly – something of a downside to being a Healer – and began to make his way through with his head down.

A wailing child careered across his path, almost causing him to trip. As he glanced round, his heart seized. He had a glimpse of red hair, of a female form, and for a moment he felt quite dizzy. He knew that all the colour would have drained from his face. Then he realised that the woman was too old, that she looked completely different. Her voice was different too, as she scolded the child. 'I am sorry, Mr Healer, sir,' she added to him, then peered more closely. 'Are you all right? You look like you've seen a ghost.'

'I'm fine,' he snapped. 'Out of my way. I have lives to save.' He swept past her, feeling cold beads of sweat trickling from his brow. It wasn't significant, he told himself. Mistaken identity could happen at any time, to anyone. A minor, meaningless thing. But all the same, as he headed down to the potion makers' domain of the lower floors, he felt distinctly rattled.

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'…shameful, foolish, idiotic! Could have ended up in Azkaban and taken us all down with you…'

Severus barely heard a word that Lucius was saying. His friend had been ranting in a similar vein ever since he'd arrived. Malfoy was second only to Voldemort in his ability to find out about things. Somehow the incident with the amulet hawker had already got back to him.

'I didn't actually do anything,' he interrupted. 'I never even used magic. And he's not going to go the authorities – everyone knows those peddlers aren't Ministry sanctioned.'

'So what? There were other witnesses, Severus – including two members of Dumbledore's damn Order!'

Severus scowled more deeply at the memory of Lily's face. 'All they witnessed was me pushing him over. If anyone asks I'll say that I was angry he was peddling such rubbish – Merlin knows I've seen enough corpses at the hospital with those stupid things on.'

'For Merlin's sake, man, use your head! How can someone so bloody brilliant be so bloody stupid? You've heard of Hildebrand Moncrief? Well?' There were pink spots on Lucius' cheeks, a rare sign of anger on his normally languid countenance.

'The name rings a bell,' Severus replied sulkily.

'He's one hundred and fourteen years old, soft in the head, and has spent his retirement cheerfully failing at getting Muggle-baiting made legal. Not that it will benefit him – his arthritis is so bad he can barely hold a wand.' Lucius paused for effect to allow this to sink in, before continuing. 'He was arrested yesterday for the murders of those mudbloods in Penzance.'

True bafflement crossed Severus' face. 'What? But that was… they can't possibly think it was him.'

'Of course they don't, that's the point I'm making. If you think the Ministry are bothered about truth and justice, you're living in a fool's paradise. The Ministry want scapegoats, Severus. You'd better not make yourself one. You already have powerful enemies in Dumbledore's camp – Potter and Black and that mudblood from Slug Club. If you go round threatening people and making a scene – right in front of them, of Merlin's sake! – you are playing right into their hands.'

'Lucius? What's going on? I could hear you from upstairs.' Narcissa was in the doorway, looking from one to the other. 'He hasn't lost the rings, has he?'

'They're here,' said Severus, pulling out the package and holding it out to Lucius, who was still glaring at him.

Narcissa came forward to take the parcel herself. 'If you boys have had a falling out, perhaps Roddy should be best man after all,' she suggested. 'I don't want a bad atmosphere at the wedding.'

Severus bit back a retort, looking at Narcissa with mingled dislike and admiration. Cissy was never slow to make the most of an opportunity. To his alarm, for a moment Lucius hesitated, and Severus thought Malfoy might actually change his mind. But then he scowled and turned away. 'No. Severus and I understand each other now, don't we Severus?'

'Yes,' muttered Snape, in the tone of a chastened schoolboy.

Lucius was all bonhomie again, his anger apparently gone. 'Well, come on then, let's all have a drink!'

But Severus had worse things to worry about than the consequences of his behaviour on Vertic Alley. Ever since his encounter with Lily Evans, he had been tormented by visions of her. All day at work he'd jumped at shadows, seen her face on every witch that passed him. Several times he'd done a double take, convinced it was her, only to realise it was someone much taller, or older, or on one occasion, male.

Her face floated in his mind later that evening, as he attempted to do push ups. It was very hot inside the Death Eater hood, but removing it was not allowed. Cells were supposed to operate in the greatest secrecy, although in reality he knew or strongly suspected the identity of most of the others in his. The tall hooded figure at front of course was Lucius, bellowing commands and enjoying himself enormously.

Lucius was born to give orders. He'd moved on from the Quidditch team at Hogwarts to his own cell of Death Eaters with barely a change to his leadership style. Sweltering and stumbling, Severus privately cursed his friend. He hated physical exercise, and found Malfoy's regime of military style marching and posturing particularly pointless. But he knew better than to question Lucius' judgement.

Ironically, D-cell saw very little action. Instead they specialised in what Lucius grandly called Structural and Complex Magic, and was in reality booby-trapping and sabotage. Lucius had cleverly found a way to turn one of his favourite pastimes into a way of serving Voldemort without having to get involved in any fighting. He had always had a fascination for magical artefacts, a hobby that he could afford to cultivate with his huge fortune and houseful of priceless magical antiques. For him, Death Eating was just another way to indulge this passion.

Severus' arrival had been an important factor in the success of the unit. His knowledge of Muggle things, something sorely lacking amongst Death Eaters, opened up a whole new raft of possibilities for turning Muggle inventions against their owners. The skills of D-cell were now so valued that they hadn't been asked to do any 'front-line' duelling in months.

Nevertheless, Lucius considered exercising together to be good for morale, as well as reminding everyone who was in charge. Therefore they were all subjected to a good fifteen minutes or so every time they met. 'Come on, number seven, put some effort into it!' he barked, undoubtedly smirking behind his mask. Lucius knew full well that 'number seven' was Severus, and that the younger man loathed this sort of thing. Severus was sorely tempted to let Roddy and Macnair do their worst on the stag night in revenge. But when you lived rent-free in someone's flat and knew a single word from them could see you homeless and jobless, you had to put up with their foibles.

None of these thoughts had done anything to shift Lily's face from his mind, still wearing the expression of horror and contempt it had when he glimpsed it in the shop window. Her memory hung at the back of his mind, stubbornly refusing his efforts to ignore or forget it, touching and colouring every thought.

Of course, Lucius would be horrified if he realised that Severus was entertaining amorous thoughts about a muggleborn. Severus shuddered slightly to think of his friend's reaction if he ever found out. Fortunately, Lucius had no talent for mind magic, and even if he did have, Severus had long ago mastered the art of Occlumency to keep his mind impregnable. Which was all well and good, but it didn't protect Severus from his own thoughts. He had yet to discover a way of performing Occlumency against himself.

Later on, he sat at his kitchen table, alone. His head was propped up on one arm, and he stared down at the grainy wood of the tabletop as though he might eventually see an answer to his problems there. It was two thirty in the morning, but Severus was a notoriously bad sleeper. He was replaying his encounter with Lily once again in his head. He was trying to remember every last inch of her. What she was wearing, every tiny movement, every glance and word. Already the memory was blurring, the details becoming less precise.

In between, he daydreamed about different versions of events, ones that had ended more satisfactorily for him. The thing that bothered him most had been Lily's response to his saying he was a Healer. Surely that was something that would impress her? It seemed to work on most people. But no, even that had to be twisted by Potter and her into another shortcoming on Severus' part. In one short year he had achieved two impressive goals – he was both a powerful dark wizard and a successful Healer. If that wasn't enough for her, nothing would be.

So logically, he told himself, he should stop trying. Put every thought of her out of his mind, give up and forget her. Focus on the things he had achieved and enjoy them for their own sakes. But logic, usually his faithful ally, didn't seem to work when it came to Lily Evans. He knew what the right thing to do was, but no matter how hard he told himself to do it, his stupid feelings got in the way.

Thoughts of Lily continued to play on a continuous loop in his tired mind throughout the next day. Lucius assumed Severus' scowl and bad temper were no more than his normal reaction to a day spent trying on robes and having his hair styled. At the end of it all, Lucius examined him critically. 'You don't scrub up too badly,' he said eventually. 'You'll do, anyway.'

'Do what?' asked Severus, who'd been distracted by a woman walking on the other side of the street. The sun had glinted off her hair and for a moment his heart had seized until he realised she was blonde.

Lucius glowered with irritation as he realised Severus hadn't been listening properly. 'What? Nothing. Do pay attention when I'm speaking.'

The stag party was a lively affair, held in the deserted pubs around Diagon. The fact they were the only revellers didn't bother Lucius' pureblood friends. They lived in their own little world anyway, untroubled by anything happening outside of their closed circle. Severus stayed close to Lucius, firmly repelling all the efforts of Roddy and Macnair to cause anything other than mild embarrassment to the bridegroom.

That night Lucius slept at the flat to avoid seeing Narcissa on the morning of the wedding. Severus spent a very bad night. He dreamed of Lucius exchanging vows with a veiled bride, but when the veil was lifted, it was Lily and not Narcissa who leaned forwards to kiss his friend. Severus flung himself forwards, desperate to stop them sealing their vows, and woke soaked in sweat. A sudden dread filled him that he might become so deluded that he would make the same mistake during the ceremony itself. Shuddering, he got up and went to the kitchen, set a fire beneath his cauldron and began brewing a tricky potion.

Lucius greeted him in the morning with a groan. 'You look dreadful! _Surely_ you haven't been making potions? Do you _ever_ stop?'

'I couldn't sleep,' said Severus sullenly. 'Anyway, I don't know why it matters what I look like, as long as you look OK. Now, I'm making breakfast and you'd better start getting dressed.'

The wedding itself was torture. He stood at the front, very uncomfortable in his formal dress robes. Narcissa looked with disgust at his sweaty fingerprints on the rings when he handed them over. All Severus could see was Lily, standing in the same place, gazing into Potter's eyes and saying 'I do'. He was aware of the sound of his own breathing, which seemed impossibly loud. He gripped his wand and tried to force all thoughts of Lily out of his mind, but the more he told himself not to think of her, the worse it became.

He stuttered through his best man's speech, not helped by Bellatrix sniggering loudly throughout, and was heartily glad when it was all over and Lucius and Narcissa flew off to Atlantis on a broom trailing gold and silver sparks that spelled out 'Just Married' across the sky. At least he'd managed to do that much right.

With Lucius away, he had even less to distract him from his thoughts of Lily. He worked long and late, churning out vats of perfect potions and volunteering for night duty. His colleagues remarked on his dedication, but it just made him feel worse. What was the point, when Lily saw even his heroic role of Healer as something contemptible?

It was during that time that he received an invitation from Horace Slughorn, his old Potions master, suggesting they meet up. Slughorn had been at the wedding, although he'd been too busy sucking up to more important people to pay much heed to Severus. He agreed to see him out of curiosity. Slughorn and he had not parted on good terms, with Severus refusing to attend Slug Club for most of his final year, and he wasn't sure where they stood.

If Slughorn bore any grudge, there was no sign of it. He greeted Severus with great enthusiasm. 'Severus, my boy! How's my finest student? I'm hearing great things about you! Qualified as a full Healer in just a year!'

'Well, there are unusual circumstances… the war,' said Severus, in a poor show of modesty. His meteoric rise had certainly been precipitated by the war, but his own prodigious talent had made it possible.

'Come now, I had you marked down as a man to watch from your very first year. I'm always right, you know! Always able to see potential… I'll never forget that Quidditch game… a first year, stopping a falling body using a spell he made up himself! Such talent… such talent! Quite outstanding.'

Sluggy had always been an old windbag, but now his eulogising had a slightly hysterical edge to it. He leant forwards eagerly across the table in the hospital canteen, a sheen of sweat on his brow. 'So, tell me, Severus, this war… terrible business… terrible business. Don't you think?'

'Of course,' he replied, wondering what Sluggy was getting at.

'Terrible,' said Slughorn again. 'One hears such awful things.' He gave a furtive glance around. 'Things one doesn't want to believe, one almost can't believe… and the names. The whispers, of who is involved… such promising young people.'

'Why don't you drink your tea, Professor?' asked Severus, pushing a cardboard cup gently towards the fat teacher.

'Oh, oh yes, thank you. Thank you, my boy. You're a good boy. A kind boy. When I hear such awful things about my Sluggers… it _wounds _me. Hurt my Sluggers, hurt me. That's how it is.' He took a sip from his tea with a hand that shook.

'Professor, there are many rumours… the things I hear every day… Barely any are true. In my limited experience the veracity of a rumour is in inverse proportion to its propensity to spread. One could spend one's whole day listening to all the wild stories flying around, and not hear half – and not a single one true.'

Slughorn looked him dead in the eye, his big moustache quivering. A lesser man may have flinched away, but Severus had made his mind impenetrable. He held the Professor's gaze as he calmly said, 'I don't know what rumours you've heard, Professor, but none of the Sluggers I know would ever get involved in any of this war.'

A smile crept over Slughorn's many chins. 'Well, that is good! That _is_ good,' he repeated, more confidently. 'I knew you'd be able to set my mind at rest. Yes, that's what I needed. There's nothing wrong with my judgement, with my Sluggers. Just look at you! Saving lives every day. Devoted to helping others! And dare I say, you wouldn't be here now if it weren't for my help.'

'Of course, Professor, you made me the man I am today,' said Severus slickly.

They spent another fifteen minutes together, Slughorn rambling on about the latest successes of his protégés, dropping names left right and centre. Severus mostly listened, trying to affect a facial expression that suggested the caring Healer. But despite his old teacher's apparent reassurance, he could see that beneath the surface, Sluggy remained troubled. Slughorn was no fool, no matter how much he sounded like one. He knew, deep down, that most of his carefully selected group of students were now terrorising the country as Death Eaters.

As he was leaving, Slughorn suddenly said, 'I don't suppose you see much of Miss Evans, these days?'

The name alone made his stomach clench, although he managed to keep his face impassive. 'No, we've rather lost touch,' he replied, trying to sound unconcerned. 'I never got on with Potter.'

'Oh, no, of course not. Such a shame… I suppose you know they're getting married? 12th September – in your old home town, I understand. Are you invited?'

'No,' replied Severus shortly.

'No? Oh well, perhaps that's for the best… I suppose it might be rather awkward.'

Rather awkward. That was one way of putting it, Severus thought, as he made his way back down to the basement. He gave his cauldron a resentful kick, and returned scowling to his work.

Authors Notes

A bit of a catching up chapter. Don't worry, there's plenty of action coming up in the next few installments.


	3. Chapter 3 A Ministry Ruse

Chapter 3 – A Ministry Ruse

The day after Lucius returned from his honeymoon, Severus received a message via his Mark to visit Malfoy Manor after work. He felt a sense of relief that things might return to how they had been, before thoughts of Lily kept intruding on his peace of mind. If there was one good thing about being friends with Lucius, it was that it provided plenty of distraction from anything else you might want to do with your life. Malfoy liked having Severus at his beck and call.

Severus went back to the flat to change his robes before apparating to the sleepy Wiltshire lane, arriving outside the familiar wrought iron gates. He crunched along the gravelled drive, noting with pleasure that everything was exactly as it always was. He rapped on the door, already anticipating a pleasant evening sipping expensive liquor and listening to Lucius talk about his honeymoon. But instead of Dobby, the door was opened by Narcissa in person, looking less composed than usual. His mild surprise became alarm when she declared, 'Thank Merlin you're here!'

'What's going on?' he asked, unable to imagine the direness of the situation in which Narcissa Malfoy would be pleased to see him.

'You can talk some sense into him,' she said, pulling him into the house and shutting the door, her voice low. 'I've never seen him like this, I don't know what's got into him. He won't listen to me, so perhaps he'll pay attention to you.'

'Over what?' he started to ask, but stopped when Lucius emerged into the hallway.

'Severus!' He greeted him with a warm handshake and a pat on the back. 'It's good to see you! You're looking… well. Come on, come into the drawing room. I'll bet you haven't drunk anything stronger than pumpkin juice this past fortnight!'

'Well, the odd cup of tea,' he said, casting a look back over his shoulder at Narcissa in the hope of another clue about what was going on.

In the drawing room, Dobby was waiting with two measures of brandy already poured. Maybe it was improving its skills. Lucius took both glasses without a word of thanks or so much as a glance at the elf, and handed one to Severus before clinking it with his own. 'Your good health!' he said, before downing his in one.

'Is something the matter?' asked Severus, who'd never been much of one for beating about the bush.

Lucius held out his glass to be refilled and glanced at sidelong at his friend. 'Well… not so much the matter, old thing. There is something… a little problem, which I thought we could discuss. I thought you might assist me with it.' Lucius indicated a chair, and Severus sat. He was aware of Narcissa hovering in the background, observing them closely.

'What is this problem?' asked Severus, watching as Lucius took a more measured sip of his second glass.

'The Pillar of Storge,' announced Lucius, portentously.

Severus spluttered on his drink. Of all the things Lucius might have come out with, that was not what he'd expected. 'What about it?' he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and eliciting a faint noise of disgust from Narcissa in the background.

'Upon my return, I learned from my sources that the Ministry plans to destroy it!'

He took some time to consider this. 'The _Ministry _plans to destroy it? Why?'

Lucius rolled his eyes. 'So they can blame it on us, of course. Do keep up, old bean.'

'But… still, why? I mean, the Ministry hardly needs to convince people the Death Eaters are bad guys, do they? Everyone's petrified of us. And I thought they wanted to keep the Pillar safe? What's the point of them guarding it, if it isn't to make themselves look good? If 'we' succeed in destroying it, then won't people just realise how rubbish they are?'

'Ah, that only applies if one thinks domestically,' explained Lucius, his voice taking on a patronising edge. 'Storge is an internationally significant piece of heritage. When the Ministry said we'd threatened it, the international press began to take notice. And when the press takes notice, the politicians take notice. The Ministry realised that if they destroyed the Pillar, they might gain some support from overseas. And let's admit, they badly need it.'

Severus had never understood politics, and he wasn't sure he followed the logic of this. 'But once the Pillar is destroyed, it's a bit late, isn't it? Aren't they just destroying their best bargaining chip?'

'There are other monuments in Britain that would also be missed. Destroying Storge is a bold move, a dramatic move. It will be on the front page of every newspaper in the world! What better way to gain attention and sympathy?' He shook his head. 'It's certainly the best idea they've got at the moment.'

'So the Ministry are going to destroy it. So what?'

Lucius nearly dropped his glass. 'So what?' he repeated in a scandalised whisper. '_So what?_ So a vital piece of our wizarding heritage will be lost forever! A part of the history of our people, our community! And you ask 'so what'!' Lucius shook his head and turned away in disgust. 'Dobby! I need another drink!'

Now Severus did exchange a quick glance with Narcissa, who raised her eyebrows meaningfully as if to say 'see what I mean?' He looked back at Lucius, who was twisting Dobby's ear painfully whilst the elf poured him another drink. When the glass was full, he gave a last jerk and pushed Dobby away. 'Next time, serve me before I need to ask!' he spat, before returning his glower to Severus.

'Lucius, I'm sorry,' Severus said, in the measured tone he reserved for lunatics and particularly desperate relatives at work. 'I just thought that we were supposed to be ignoring the Ministry.'

'That was before! It was one thing to ignore them playing games, pretending to protect things that didn't need protecting. That was beneath our notice. But this… this is completely different. We can't sit back and let them destroy something so important. We have to protect it.'

Severus took this in, and then nodded. 'OK. But why are you telling me this? What about the rest of the Death Eaters?'

'They're not involved,' said Lucius shortly. 'Is that a problem?'

Narcissa interrupted. 'Of course it's a problem. Severus, none of the other Death Eaters would agree to this. He's already been to the inner circle. Like you said, the Dark Lord had told them not to be distracted by the Ministry, and they have the sense to follow His instructions. But for some reason Lucius is determined to carry on-'

'Some reason?' yelped Lucius. 'That reason is our heritage, our birthright! The very things that I joined the Death Eaters to protect! If the Dark Lord were here, He would agree, I know He would! Why do you think we never attack Hogwarts?'

'Because the Dark Lord is scared of Dumbledore,' said Narcissa boldly, causing a gasp from both Lucius and Severus.

'Don't say things like that!' squeaked Lucius, looking around frantically. 'If you had any idea of the risk…'

'You lecture me about risk, but you're quite happy to take on the entire Ministry single handed?'

'I'd rather take on the whole Ministry than the Dark Lord, yes! And I won't be single handed, will I? I'll have Severus.' Lucius glanced at Severus, who avoided his friend's eye.

'Oh well, that's all right then,' snapped Narcissa, also looking at Snape. 'Well? What do you think about all this?'

Severus looked from one to the other, stunned by this sudden fanaticism from Lucius. Finally he said, 'Perhaps we should summon Him, ask what He wants?'

Lucius shook his head. 'I tried, but He must be out of range. Either that or He doesn't want to be distracted.'

Surprised that Lucius had even gone as far as to risk trying to summon Voldemort, Severus realised just how serious his friend was. Lucius continued, 'Come on, Severus, you know this is what the Dark Lord would want. He cares deeply about magical artefacts and objects-'

'No Lucius, _you _care deeply about magical artefacts and objects,' shouted Narcissa. 'If this was what the Dark Lord wanted, Bellatrix would be all for it! Bella will always do whatever it is that He wants…'

'Bella?' Lucius made a rude noise. 'Bellatrix cares for nothing but torturing and killing. She might think she knows the mind of the Dark Lord, but she's deluded. Come on, Cissy, you can't like the thought of the Pillar being destroyed?'

Narcissa refused to give any ground. 'No, but I like the thought of my husband being destroyed even less!'

'I'm not going to be destroyed, don't be so melodramatic! They've only got a few people 'guarding' these things – not even Aurors. They'll probably run away screaming at the sight of real Death Eaters! All we have to do is hold them off until He gets back. I bet if we create enough of a scene, they'll not even attempt it. Honestly Cissy, you don't really think I'd do anything that dangerous, do you?'

'I don't know what to think,' she said sullenly. 'You're acting completely unlike yourself. The Lucius I know stays in the background. He doesn't take stupid risks. What are you always telling me? _I'm not front line, Cissy. _Well, this sounds pretty 'front line' to me, and you know you're hopeless at duelling.'

'I'm not hopeless!' said Lucius, stung. 'I can duel perfectly well, I just chose not to.'

'Exactly, you choose not to, because you know you're far better at getting results through diplomacy. Or failing that, Imperius. Why would you suddenly change a winning formula now?'

'It won't work – don't you think I haven't thought of that? If I had more time, then yes, I'm sure I could. But I don't. They've had this in mind for two weeks now; it's gained too much momentum to turn around quickly. Too many people are involved. The Ministry is completely bowled over by its own cleverness on this – they're so delighted with the idea that a charging erumpent wouldn't make them change course at this stage. Diplomacy is slow, Cissy.'

Narcissa turned away from her husband to appeal to Severus, opening her blue eyes very wide. 'Severus, for goodness sake, tell him how stupid this is.'

Severus looked from one to the other, thinking hard. He knew Naricssa was trying to charm him, which after eight years of antagonism was unlikely to cut any ice. But she did have a point. On the other hand, Lucius was probably right as well. He knew better than anyone the strengths and limitations of diplomacy.

'What do you actually propose to do, Lucius?' he asked, buying himself some more time.

'Get in between them and the Pillar and create a scene. Fight them off, if we have to. The Pillar could not be destroyed by magical means, they will have to physically remove it somehow. My Ministry contact mentioned some Muggle substance that causes explosions. They will send hired heavies, not Aurors. They'll probably run away at the sight of real Death Eaters. All we have to do is buy time, Severus. It won't be long before the Dark Lord realises what is going on, and returns. And when that happens, He will take care of it.'

'You hope,' muttered Narcissa.

'Severus?' Lucius asked again, and Severus waited for him to remind him that they had a deal. But he didn't. Instead he said, 'You're my best friend. Please?'

Such a heartfelt plea finally swayed him. 'All right,' he said, ignoring the explosive noise from Narcissa. 'I'll do it. But we must keep trying to contact Him. And we need an escape route.'

Lucius' face broke into a smile and he jumped to his feet, clasping Severus' shoulder very tightly. 'I knew I could rely on you.'

'I cannot believe you're going through with this,' whispered Narcissa, pale with rage. 'You're underestimating the Ministry. You'll both be killed, or caught, and if you're not, He'll do it when He gets back and finds you disobeyed His orders. You're going to leave me a widow before we've been married a month!' She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room.

'Oh dear,' Lucius sighed, glancing ruefully after his new wife. 'But she'll come round eventually. Now, we don't have much time. The Ministry plan to act very soon. We'll pack up a couple of broom bags with some essentials. We can apparate partway and then fly the rest. Once we're there we can firm up the rest of the plan.'

'All right,' Severus agreed, deciding not to point out that there wasn't much of a plan to 'firm up'. 'I'd better floo in sick to work.' He saw Lucius' look of incomprehension. 'Some of us have jobs, you know. They expect you to turn up every day. We don't want anyone asking questions.'

'Well, do what you need to do, but do it quickly. I'll handle the packing. Dobby! Get here now!'

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The moors were windswept despite it being summer. The sky was a watery blue, the air thick with pollen. A speck appeared, travelling too fast to be a bird, but too low to be a plane. It resolved itself into a cloaked figure on a broomstick. It circled several times, before returning the way it had come, zig-zagging lazily. Another speck appeared, flying slower and more erratically, eventually joining the other.

They loomed larger, spiralling gradually down, before landing on the heather. The first was graceful, coming to a standstill with barely a sound, catching the end of his broom in a single smooth movement. The second landed with a flump, ran a couple of paces, got his leg caught in some bracken, and ended up sprawling. His companion laughed, and eventually offered a hand.

'It's not funny! You said it was your slow broom!' exclaimed Severus, brushing bits of bracken off his robes.

'It _is_ my slow broom.' Lucius retrieved a small bag from the back of his broom, and reached inside. He withdrew two Death Eater hoods, which looked too large to have possibly fitted inside the bag. Of course, few of Lucius Malfoy's possessions weren't enhanced by various forms of expensive magic, and he would have turned his nose up at any bag without extension and weight-minimising charms on it. 'Get this on,' he said, tossing a hood at Severus, who fumbled the catch and dropped it. 'We don't want to get recognised.'

'Are you sure about this?' asked Severus for the fiftieth time, pulling the hood over his head and waiting for the mask to mould over his face. 'People see Death Eaters, they cast to kill.'

'Or wet their pants and run away. You're seriously overestimating the people that the Ministry will employ. I told you, they won't waste Aurors on this. They don't expect anyone to be there. Now, the Pillar is in that direction. Come on.' Lucius slung his broombag over his shoulder and began to walk. Severus stood staring after him, before picking up the brooms and jogging to catch up.

'We're _walking_?' he asked incredulously. 'Since when have you walked anywhere?'

Lucius ignored this and pointed ahead of them. 'We'll head up there, then crawl through the undergrowth. It should give us a vantage of the area around the Pillar. We can check out how the land lies and work out our next move.'

Already hot and sticky in the hood, Severus grumbled along in Lucius' wake. 'You do realise that the Pillar casts a powerful thaumic forcefield, I suppose? We'll have to take that into account in any plans that we make.'

'Yes, yes, that's why I've brought you along. I'm sure calculating a thaumic forcefield is child's play to an egghead like you,' said Lucius airily. 'Come on, get down.' He dropped onto his front and began commando crawling on stomach and elbows towards the top of the ridge. Severus followed in deepest disgust. He had a strong suspicion that Lucius was enjoying himself.

The hill top did give a good vantage point. The ground beneath them fell away into a very wide, deep valley, with gently sloping grassy sides. It would have been unremarkable, were it not for a steep hill that arose at the very bottom of the valley. The mound looked odd and out of place, as though it had been transplanted there from some other landscape. It sat there, rising about two thirds of the height of the valley sides, an isolated peak.

At the very centre of the top of that hill was an object that gave off a strange light. It was about five metres tall, and roughly rectangular. The light seemed to come from within, glowing outwards. Colours played across the surface, and cast strange shadows on the grass around it.

Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He could _feel _the magic coming from it. 'The Pillar,' he breathed, impressed despite himself.

'It's amazing, isn't it?' said Lucius, smiling behind his mask at Severus' reaction. 'Now do you understand why I can't let it be destroyed?'

A cordon surrounded the base of the hill, where the ground first started to slope upwards. There seemed to be signs dotted along its length. Severus activated the binocular vision on his mask and zoomed in. They read in large black capitals, 'Warning! Thaumic forcefield! Do not attempt magic past this point!'

Beyond the cordon, several small tents were visible, spaced out at wide intervals. Fires burned in front of one or two, and people were visible. A wizard in purple robes was slouching in a deckchair, reading the _Prophet. _A witch was stirring something in a cauldron over a fire, and a pair of gawky youths in ill-fitting pointed hats were playing gobstones in front of another tent. Severus performed a quick count. 'Six tents and eight people,' he said. 'Allowing for the curvature of the hill, and assuming they are evenly spaced out around, probably around ten tents. So perhaps twenty people, tops.'

'And they're hardly crack troops, are they? _Magnify!' _ Lucius tapped his wand to his own mask. 'Recognise any?'

'No, I don't think so. I'm assuming these are the supposed guards, and they'll use someone else to actually destroy the thing?'

Lucius deactivated his mask and flopped down on the grass. 'I imagine so, old thing. They don't look like they could destroy a paper bag. They're just the window dressing.'

'So, what do you think? Do we try and get past them, or do we wait it out here?'

'Hmmm…. I think we should get closer. It makes sense to be near it, if we're going to guard it. And we'll have the advantage then – high ground, we'll be able to see all around. No one can apparate in a thaumic forcefield, so we'll be safe from that aspect too.'

'We won't be able to use magic very easily though; remember a thaumic forcefield increases the difficulty and unpredictability of magic…'

'Our attackers will have the same disadvantage. They won't have your brainpower for working out ways round it though. Stop worrying, old bean. I have a good feeling about all this. Run some diagnostics to see what enchantments are in place, will you.'

Whilst Lucius relaxed in the late evening sunshine, Severus set up a number of the devices they'd brought along, and began tapping them with his wand, making careful notes based on the readings. Half an hour later, he told his friend confidently, 'All they've got is a caterwauling charm around the cordon. It might not even be theirs. It's hard to tell how high up it extends – my suggestion is we wait for darkness, then break it somewhere to create a diversion and fly in.'

'Right-o. Told you it would be easy,' replied Lucius, without opening his eyes.

Severus glanced at his friend. 'Have you tried to contact Him again?'

Lucius sat up and carefully brushed bits of grass off his robes. 'No, but I'll try now.' He rolled up his sleeve and applied a forefinger to his Dark Mark. The skull-and-snake motif burned black, and Lucius closed his eyes with concentration. A minute later, he removed his hand, opened his eyes and shook his head. 'Nothing, still.'

Severus stared down at the Pillar. 'Are you sure about this, Lucius?'

'It'll be fine, stop being such a worry-wort. The Ministry don't like anything that's difficult. Besides, it's only a matter of time before He gets my messages.' He reached into his broombag and pulled out two pieces of pie wrapped in greaseproof paper. 'Here, have something to eat and stop fretting.'

'Thanks.' He took the proffered package and sat holding it, gaze still fixed on the Pillar. 'Once we're up there, we'll be surrounded and we won't be able to apparate.'

'Honestly Severus, you're a real ray of sunshine. We'll have the broom we flew in on, we can always fly out. We'll see them coming from miles off, there'll be plenty of time to get away if we have to.' He lounged back on the grass and took another bite of pie. 'I say, this isn't bad for saying Dobby made it.'

But Severus couldn't relax and enjoy a picnic. His eyes kept being drawn back to the Pillar, still casting its strange colours across the landscape. There was something about it that disturbed him greatly. And despite Lucius' casual confidence, he couldn't shake off the feeling that things could go wrong very badly and very easily.

'Do cheer up, Sev. I wouldn't have brought you if I'd known you were going to go all angst-ridden on me. It might never even come to us defending it. He's bound to get my messages sooner or later, and then He'll come and sort it all out.'

'And if He decides He didn't want us to protect the Pillar?'

For a moment, Lucius' confident posture faltered. 'We'll just have to hope that I'm right, and He did, won't we?'

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Hovering on a broomstick carrying two people wasn't as easy as it looked. Lucius had to circle constantly in order to keep sufficient height. A long way below them, the dying campfires of the Ministry guards glowed a dull red. It was late. Severus felt tired and fed up, definitely not in the mood for sitting around on a draughty broomstick. The night vision on his mask was making him feel even more sick than normal when he flew. Voldemort had not contacted them, and now it was nightfall and the time had arrived to try to reach the Pillar. They'd agreed to go on one broom, with Lucius flying and Severus ready to fend off any attacks.

_How much longer? _Lucius asked, using his Mark.

_It should be any minute n-' _Severus broke off as a sudden flash of light and loud wailing sound split the night. Both men jumped so hard the broomstick tilted alarmingly, and Severus had to cling to Lucius to stay on. Malfoy had Quidditch-honed reflexes and recovered fast, darting forwards with a good show of speed and banking round in a giddying turn. Severus tried to ignore the nausea as he adjusted the night vision facility on his mask.

Below them there was much confusion as people milled about, shouting to each other. Glowing wandtips zig-zagged through the darkness as the bearers tried to fathom what was going on. But no one was looking up. Lucius pushed the broom forwards, heading for the eerily dancing lights of the Pillar. The power of its magic felt stronger here, and rather repellent. As they grew closer, Lucius swore as the broom began to behave oddly. '_Be ready for a bumpy landing,'_ he warned.

The next moment, he went into a stomach wrenching dive. Severus felt the wind whip past his face, cold as ice even through the mask. He was holding on to Lucius so tightly that his hands were numb. The Pillar approached with alarming speed, swelling to fill the horizon with its colour until Severus had to shut his streaming eyes. They hit the ground with a thump that sent him rolling down the hill, severely winded.

When he came to a stop, face down on the cold earth, he gave himself a few moments to appreciate the implacable firmness of the ground. He allowed his head to stop spinning before sitting warily up and adjusting his mask. Instinctively, he used his Mark to try to locate Lucius, but the signal was fuzzy and hard to interpret. As he crawled up the slope in the direction he hoped he'd find his friend, he realised that he was going to struggle to do without magic.

A dark shape loomed in the darkness, and resolved itself into Lucius. 'There you are,' he said, keeping his voice low. 'You'd better put a disillusionment charm on the broom if you can, and one of those trigger trackers in case we need to find it again in a hurry.'

Severus did as Lucius told him, although it was twice as difficult as normal to work the charms. He could feel the magic twisting away from him, as though it was a living thing that had its own ideas about how it should be used. They both avoided looking at the Pillar. 'Well, I suppose we should go higher up,' said Lucius, without moving.

'Get closer? Is that a good idea?'

Lucius' face was obscured, but Severus knew its expression without needing to see it. 'We're too close to the Ministry camps here. I'd rather they didn't realise we were here just yet. We should stay down, we don't want to be silhouetted against it.'

Unfortunately 'staying down' entailed more commando-style crawling. Severus kept falling flat on his face and getting a mouthful of turf. Lucius shushing him didn't improve his mood. It felt like a long time before they reached the flat area at the top of the hill and Lucius stopped. Severus almost collided with him.

'We're nearly there,' Lucius whispered unnecessarily. 'We should stay just below the brow of the hill.' He risked raising his head to peer at the Pillar. 'Do you think we could do any protective charms?'

'We'll have to do something, it's too big an area for us to guard alone, even though we'll have the high ground. If they outnumber us it would be useful to have something in place to help us, if we can make it work. But I'll need a bit of time, to do some calculations, a bit of experimentation.'

'That should be all right. The Ministry won't come to attack it in the middle of the night. You'll have to morning at least to work out the best way to protect it.'

Severus opened his mouth to reply, but movement caught the corner of his eye, and the next instant he was whipping round, wand in his hand and a spell on his lips before he remembered that using magic up here wasn't a good idea. Next to him, he heard Lucius gasp fearfully as he also drew out his wand. Fear of being spotted by the Ministry guards forgotten in face of this more immediate threat, they stood on guard, ready to fight.

Two shapes resolved themselves, only metres away. The narrow unmistakable shape of wands were visible in their hands. Severus was tense, covering the figures whilst keeping a look out for more. He felt very vulnerable and exposed there on the hillside, with possible threats all around, not even able to rely on his own magic to save himself.

No more people appeared, and the two figures remained still, pointing their wands at Lucius and him. Dry mouthed, his eyes flicked around again, before coming to the conclusion there were only two of them. Two against two. If it came to a fight, they would have a good chance. Severus was an excellent dueller, and Lucius wasn't as bad as Narcissa had claimed. But it depended who their opponents were. He began to look at them more closely, trying to resolve features through the slight blurring of the night vision.

Recognition hit him like a physical blow, and he gasped out loud, causing Lucius to jump about a foot and everyone to brandish their wands higher. For he would know the smaller of the figures anywhere. Didn't see he see her constantly, even when she wasn't there? But now she really was there, he couldn't believe his eyes. It couldn't be. It was just his strained psyche playing tricks again. But no, the night vision clearly showed the shape of her face, and just the merest hint of her luminous green eyes. Lily.

Author's notes

Now we get down to the action! The word 'thaumic' is borrowed from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, meaning 'pertaining to magic'. I use it quite a bit in this fic. Occasionally I will use the word 'marked' meaning 'communicated through the Dark Mark'. I have tried to give the DEs a few features that make them a more effective force. The DEs of canon never really matched up to their terrifying reputation, which we'll explore further in the sequel to this fic. In this fic I've tried to show (within my PG-13 rating) them as a force that was worthy of the fear they still inspired years after Voldemort's downfall.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 –An Uneasy Alliance

There was a stand-off, all four pointing their wands at each other, frozen. Severus' heart was doing strange things, his eyes flicking again and again to Lily, hardly able to process the amazement that she was there. In a minute someone was going to snap and cast a hex, after which all hell would break loose. Severus was trying to think desperately of a way he could not only avoid harming Lily, but protect her as well, without Lucius realising. Potter – for of course Lily's companion was his old enemy - made a movement, and Lucius tensed in response. The next minute two spells collided in mid-air with a shower of sparks.

'No!' Lily's cry caused both to hesitate, and then to Severus' horror, she threw herself between them, hands up. 'Wait, stop!'

Lucius' wand, pointed and ready, faltered as he hesitated. Severus thanked his stars that he was with Lucius and not some of his more trigger-happy colleagues. If that had been Bellatrix, Lily would be in little pieces by now. Severus shut his eyes momentarily at the thought. He hated being reminded of Lily's foolish courage.

'Stop,' she was saying again, in a much quieter voice. 'Thank you. We know the Death Eaters haven't threatened anything. We heard you – we know you want to protect the Pillar. And that's why we're here too. We want to protect it. From the Ministry.'

Very slowly, Lucius moved his wand and touched it to his mask. When he spoke, his voice was distorted and unrecognisable. 'Why should we believe you? You're part of Dumbledore's Order. You're all at one with the Ministry.'

James Potter made a disgusted noise from behind his wife, and Lily shot him a quick glance. 'That's not quite true, at least not about this. We don't really know what might happen if the Pillar were to be destroyed, no one understands it well enough. And we don't like the way the Ministry is lying about it – we think it's important to preserve justice and integrity, even at war.'

_Are these fools for real? _asked Lucius via his Mark, the incredulity audible even through the static. Out loud he sneered, 'How very noble of you.'

'I wouldn't expect you to understand,' said Lily with contempt. 'I am right, though, about you wanting to protect the Pillar?'

'Destroying the Pillar is against everything the Death Eaters stand for. If people were less stupid, they'd realise that.'

'How come there's only two of you, then?' demanded Potter, belligerently. Severus could see that talking to Death Eaters had not been part of Potter's plan.

'How come there are only two of _you_?' returned Lucius promptly.

'The rest are at the Ministry end. Saboteurs. There's not that many of us, it's true. Not everyone agrees about protecting it,' said Lily bluntly. 'But in our organisation disobedience isn't punishable by death.'

Severus and Lucius exchanged the smallest glance. Neither really wanted to think about their action as disobedient, or the imaginatively nasty punishment Voldemort reserved for those who did fall into that category. But Lucius sounded very cool and calm when he replied. 'I imagine that's because so many of you get killed off on a daily basis it's hardly in the organisation's interests.'

'Amusing as this little chat is, I think we should break it up now,' said Potter, eyeing the glow in the sky just above them that represented the Pillar. 'Since we're evenly matched, we'll give you time to disapparate. Can't say fairer than that.'

'Except that anyone trying to disapparate here would probably end up in little pieces,' said Lucius icily, although the distortion from his mask simply made it sound like he had a bad cold. 'Since you're on the 'side of good', why don't you walk away? If those idiots in the tents caught you – which I doubt – you could play the Dumbledore card.'

'And trust a pair of Death Eaters not to attack us as we went? Cold blooded murderers like you…'

'I can assure you, neither I nor my companion has ever murdered anyone,' cut in Lucius haughtily. Which was true in an extremely narrow literal sense, Severus supposed, but he had a feeling rather a large number of people who'd died as a result of their actions or inactions might not be inclined to agree.

'Listen!' said Lily impatiently, and everyone turned reluctantly to look at her. 'I know it sounds crazy, but I think we should work together to protect the Pillar.'

'What?' exclaimed three voices in almost perfect unison.

'Have you gone mad?' asked James Potter.

'You know we'll never manage to protect it on our own, even if the others succeed. You need at least four people around it to stop them rushing you from several directions at once. Even with four it will be hard, but we've got double the chance than if we go it alone.' She turned and spoke directly to James. 'I don't like the thought of working with them any more than you do, but we've got to be realistic.'

James scowled past his wife at Lucius. He was still holding his wand ready. 'Well? What do you think, Death Eater?'

_Team up with these idiots? _Lucius asked via his Mark. _I suppose the mudblood has a point though. _Out loud he said, 'How do we know we can trust you?'

'Ha! You're the Death Eaters, we should be asking you that.'

'We will have to make a gentleman's agreement,' said Lily solemnly. Severus could have wept at that moment, overcome with love for her. No one but Lily could speak of a 'gentleman's agreement' as though it was a sacred vow that no one could break.

'These aren't gentlemen!' James reminded her harshly.

'No, but we're all here now, so we might as well get on with it. If any of us try to escape, we risk giving the others away.' She smiled winningly round at everyone. 'If we want to protect the Pillar, we'll all just have to grit our teeth and put up with it.'

After a pause, Lucius said, 'Very well. We have a deal.' He held out a hand towards Potter. Lily stepped forward but Lucius moved away. 'No, him.'

'Scared to touch a mudblood?' asked Lily scornfully, as James edged forwards, face etched with disgust, and gave Lucius' palm the briefest brush.

'We're working together for a common goal but that doesn't change how I feel about you any more than it changes how you feel about me,' replied Lucius. 'I suppose you have names?'

'I'm Lily Evans, and this is James Potter. What about you?'

'I am D1, he is D7. So, do you two have a plan for how to protect this thing? I suppose it's too much to hope you have some inside information?'

Lily sat down on the grass and indicated for the rest to do the same. It took a few uneasy moments before the three men reluctantly did the same, all keeping their wands ready and eyes on each other. 'We know the Ministry will act soon, tonight or tomorrow. Apparently there is some sort of prophecy that foretold the Pillar being threatened, or destroyed. But we don't know what it says.'

Lucius made a dismissive sound. 'Prophecy? Portents and omens and all that? So much rot. Most of these so called prophecies only come to pass because they are self-fulfilling. The rest are so vague they could be applied to any set of circumstances that transpire.'

'Some people take them seriously,' said Lily. 'There's a whole area in the Ministry devoted to their preservation and study.'

'There's a whole department in the Ministry devoted to catching Death Eaters,' scoffed Lucius.

'The prophecy is unimportant,' interrupted Potter. 'Our friends reckon the Ministry plans to use some sort of Muggle stuff to blow the Pillar up, but we reckon they'll have to come quite close to do it. So Lily and I have been staying close to the base. We thought we might attach ourselves to it somehow. Apparently Muggles do the same to trees and things.'

'Ha!' Lucius' snort of disbelief was rather loud, and everyone shushed him.

After a few moments of anxious listening, Potter continued in an even quieter voice. 'We know the Ministry can be corrupt and misguided, but we didn't think they'd condone killing two peaceful protestors.'

'You're willing to take that chance?' asked Lucius, adding to Severus via his Mark, '_If this is the best the Order of the Foolish has to offer, I'm not sure why we're so worried about them!'_

'We're not afraid to die,' said Lily with a quiet dignity that chilled Severus' blood.

Malfoy found that statement so funny that he had to spend the next minute stifling his laughter. Severus took the opportunity to activate the voice distortion on his own mask. 'Well, if it's all the same to you, we'd rather come out of this alive.'

'That's something else we'll have to agree to differ on, Death Eater,' said Potter, with a contemptuous glance at Lucius.

'How long have you been here?' Severus asked Lily, ignoring Potter.

'Since this morning. We did something similar to you, triggered the circle charm and sneaked across on the other side whilst they were investigating.'

'You did that in daylight?' he asked, surprised.

Lily looked a little uncomfortable, and Severus knew she wasn't being entirely truthful. He wished his legilimency was more advanced, so he could tell what she was hiding. 'We found a way,' she said, moving on quickly. 'When the charm triggered again tonight we wondered if someone else had done the same thing, so we came to look. You were saying you thought you could try some protective charms?'

'I think so. I want to do some calculations first. With four of us, we have the option of trying something stronger and more advanced.'

James Potter interrupted. 'Doing advanced magic up here? Sounds like a very bad idea to me, Death Eater.'

'Then you are more of a coward than you think yourself; an intellectual coward,' spat Severus, just about preventing himself from using one of his favourite derogatory nicknames for his old enemy. 'Chaining yourself to the Pillar is passive and pathetic. At best they will remove you, at worst they'll blow it up with you still in place.'

'We're here to protect the Pillar, not conduct a piece of research,' shot back Potter, hand tightened around his wand again. 'If you think I'm afraid to use magic up here, just try me, Death Eater.'

'Oh, with pleasure. I could take you in a duel with a hand tied behind my back.'

'Stop it!' hissed Lily. 'Can't we manage to have a sensible conversation for five minutes without it dissolving into insults? I think D7 is right. Some sort of protective charm is worth a try.'

Malfoy and Potter grudgingly agreed. 'We ought to move up the hillside,' said Potter. 'When it gets light we'll be too exposed here. You can't see the base of the Pillar from the tents, the angle is wrong, so if we stick close by there's less chance of being seen.'

They crawled the short distance up to the crown of the hill. The Pillar was suddenly before them, breathtaking in the intensity of the magic radiating from it. The colours seemed deeper and more vivid close to, never staying the same for an instant. It was deathly quiet up here, except for a faint hum that you felt in your bones as well as your ears. Despite himself, Severus gasped and stopped for a moment. 'It's incredible, isn't it?' Lily whispered. 'Haven't you seen it before?'

'Not like this,' he replied, wishing he didn't have to maintain his cover. Glancing sideways at Lily, he felt the same sense of wonder he had at the sight of the Pillar, even though Lily's face was so very familiar to him.

Now they were there, no one was quite sure what to do. There was a lot of shuffling about in the semi-darkness and unnecessary examination of the ground. Then Potter said, 'Well, we should get some sleep. We ought to leave someone on guard.'

'Very well, my colleague and I will go first,' said Lucius. 'We'll wake you in three hours.'

'You must think we're stupid,' snorted Potter. 'Do you honestly think we're going to go off to sleep with two Death Eaters to watch over us?' Lily echoed her husband's derisive laugh, to Severus' disappointment.

The ice in Lucius' voice was apparent even through the distortion. 'Fine. One of you and one of us then.'

'OK, I'll go first,' said Lily at once. 'I'm not that tired.'

Lucius glanced at Severus and communicated via his Mark, '_You'd better go first. If I leave you and Potter alone together you'll almost certainly have killed each other by morning_.' Out loud he said, 'That's settled then. Wake us in three hours.' He walked away from them, removing a sleeping bag from his broombag.

Hardly able to believe his luck, Severus looked sidelong at Lily. Potter seemed reluctant to leave her. He heard her whisper, 'For goodness sake, James, I can duel at least as well as you! I can look after myself. We can't both stay awake all night. Go to sleep.'

Lucius and Potter settled down to sleep as far apart as possible from each other. Severus was painfully aware of Lily, just a few metres away. They sat in silence, staring out over the darkness. A few orange fires still glowed from the camps at the foot of the hill. Lily herself was visible in the strange multi-coloured light from the Pillar. He watched her closely, hardly able to believe his luck that he had this opportunity to be close to her again. She shifted suddenly, tensing as she raised her wand. Immediately alert, he scrambled over to her, wand ready. 'What is it?' he whispered, as softly as he could.

Frowning, she continued to peer into the darkness, before shaking her head slightly. 'Nothing,' she said, in a similarly low voice. 'Owl, I think, or a bat maybe.'

Now he was this close to her, he didn't want to leave her again, so he settled himself next to her and resumed his apparent scrutiny of the darkness, whilst all the time stealing glances at her. She kept her wand ready, he noticed, and he saw her eyes flick in his direction several times. Eventually he said, 'So, do I take it all is not rosy between the Foolish and the Ministry?'

For a moment he thought she was going to blank him, but eventually she said, 'The Order and the Ministry are separate organisations. Broadly, we're on the same side. That doesn't mean I agree with everything the Ministry does.'

'And Dumbledore? Do you agree with everything _he_ does?' He knew he was pushing his luck, but he couldn't help himself. These were all the questions that he'd asked her in his head so many times.

Now she rounded on him, eyes flashing. 'Of course I do,' she whispered furiously. 'If you think you're going to… _convert_ me, you've got another think coming!'

He laughed at the thought. 'I have no intention of 'converting' you. I merely was curious. It seems odd that you are here alone, just the two of you. I thought you Order people were practically inseparable.'

'If you're fishing for information about our numbers or how we work, you're wasting your time, _Death Eater. _Just because we're forced to work together this once, doesn't mean I like it and doesn't mean I've forgotten what you are.'

'And what is that exactly?' he asked, needled.

'An evil, bigoted, murdering…' she began.

'We told you already, I never murdered anyone in my life. Listen to me, not all Death Eaters are like that. I don't deny there are a few that delight in torture and killing, but they are the minority.' He ignored her disbelieving snort. 'No, come on. Think about it properly. You're intelligent. How many people really want to go round committing horrible murders? Far fewer than are Death Eaters.'

'Oh, and the rest of you read to sick children and rescue orphaned puppies, I suppose? You think that not being a murderer makes it OK to be signed up to an organisation that does such awful things? Well, it doesn't! You're all pureblood supremacists, you all think Muggles and muggleborns should be killed, even if some of you are too cowardly to act on those beliefs.' The disgust in her voice was obvious, even though she could barely raise it above a whisper.

'So now you're criticising me for being a coward because I don't murder Muggles?' He laughed bitterly at this irony. 'You think you can sit and judge me, when you know nothing about me! What about the tactics that the Ministry use, that your Order uses? We both know some of their crimes are as bad as those of the Death Eaters. Does that make you equally guilty?'

Colour flared in her cheeks. 'I already said, I don't agree with everything the Ministry does. The Order's completely different…'

'Is it? You have Aurors as part of the Order – oh, don't look all coy. We know you have Aurors – we know who all of you are! Alastor Moody, for example; everyone knows he's a 'maverick', which is how people describe people on their own side who're as bad as the ones they're fighting. So are you to be held responsible for every action of his?'

'I can't believe you're trying to take the moral high ground! You are a Death Eater!' she spat.

'I'm not taking any moral high ground, I'm simply pointing out that you can't have one rule for me and a different one for you. If I'm guilty of the crimes of other Death Eaters, you are guilty for the crimes of the Ministry and the Order members.' His heart was pounding as he spoke, exhilarated to be debating with Lily again, even though this had a much tenser feel than their quarrels as friends.

'It's different. If we have to do things that aren't… good, we do it because we have to, in order to stop you lot! No matter what we do, it's got to be better than Voldemort taking over!'

His heart froze at the name and he grabbed compulsively at her, earning a wand almost in his eye in return. 'Don't say His name!' he choked.

Lily pushed him back with an expression of utter contempt. 'He's _your_ master.'

'Yes, and if you knew anything about Him… if you knew what He's like… Lily, you mustn't say His name. You don't understand…'

Maybe something of the desperation in his voice softened her a little, because she bit back the contemptuous remark she was going to make. Instead she said, 'Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. That's what Dumbledore always says.'

'Exactly. And where the Dark Lord is concerned, fear is a very healthy and prudent emotion!' There was a short silence after this exchange. Eventually he picked up the thread of their old argument. 'So what you're saying is; the end justifies the means? It's OK for your side to use dirty tactics, because your aim is good and pure.'

'Maybe,' she replied cautiously.

'But who's to say your end is the right one? In the Death Eaters, we believe _our_ goal is the right one. We believe it's worth fighting and dying for. Being a Death Eater is risky, you know. We don't do it just for the sake of it. We believe in the cause. We're freedom fighters, and just like freedom fighters everywhere, the regime labels us 'terrorists'. But it doesn't mean we're wrong.'

'Of course you're wrong. You want to a society where wizards rule over Muggles, where a powerful few subjugate the many. Look at you – you're terrified of your own leader, even you! Do you really think a man like that is going to make the world a better place once he's gained power? You talk about freedom; do you really think anyone is going to be free under a man like him?'

He opened and closed his mouth, irritated to remember her skill for turning an argument against him. Well, two could play at that game. 'So what's _your_ aim, then? What's the purpose of the Order of Foolish – sorry, _Phoenix_?'

'To fight against you lot, of course, stop you in any way we can.' She thrust her chin out defiantly as she spoke, and he felt his heart constrict at the passion burning in her eyes. 'You think Death Eating is risky? The odds aren't exactly great for Order members either. But I'm prepared to risk it, because I want to make the world a better place. I don't want to see the magic world here ruined.'

There was a short silence following this pronouncement, then he said, 'I want the same thing too.'

She shook her head hopelessly, and turned away. Hands shaking, he removed a book from his broombag and a self-inking quill, and tried to focus on the text – which was about the Pillar and its powers. He made a couple of notes in the margin. After what felt like eternity, she asked, 'What are you doing?'

'I'm trying to calculate the size and distribution of the thaumic forcefield,' he replied, scribbling a few figures in the margin of the book. 'Then from that we should be able to decide what spells to protect it with.' He felt her breath and realised she was looking over his shoulder. It was so exciting that it was a second before it occurred to him that Lily would recognise his handwriting, and his habit of making marginalia. He quickly covered the page with his hand, heart thumping. Did he want Lily to realise it was him, or not?

But Lily made no comment, and looked away with a shrug. She began to hum, very softly under her breath. If it had been anyone else he'd have told them to shut up. It was very hard to concentrate on his arithmantical calculations knowing that she was so nearby, and he had to recalculate the mean thaumatological force three times before it looked right. After what seemed an impossibly short time she stood up and stretched. 'It's time to swap over,' she said, yawning, and without further ado walked over to the sleeping James to wake him with a kiss.

Sickened and angry, he woke Lucius with an unnecessarily powerful shock across his Mark. Malfoy sat bolt upright, hand on his wand. '_What is it?' _

'Your turn,' said Severus out loud, wondering if he could settle down closer to Lily without it looking suspicious and deciding he couldn't.

Lucius modified his voice before saying, 'You nearly burned my arm off.'

'Sorry,' replied Severus, remorselessly. He prepared to lay down in the sleeping bag vacated by his friend. Across the hill, Potter was sitting up and canoodling with Lily. He turned his back and closed his eyes, but he couldn't sleep. The hairs on the back of his neck kept rising as he imagined Lily so close to him. He tried to hear her breathing, but of course there was nothing but the wind.

As he lay there uncomfortably, feeling the knobbly ground through the sleeping bag, he wondered if his words would have had an effect. Was it possible that he had planted a seed that would make Lily come round to him eventually? When the Death Eaters had won and he had saved her? It was possible, he decided, definitely possible. For goodness sake, here he was, metres away from Lily, having spent several hours in her sole company! If that could happen, surely anything at all was possible.

Author's notes

I appreciate this is probably slightly controversial, but I don't think it's impossible. Hopefully I've managed to make it at least plausible. Of course, these incidents don't appear in Severus' 'Prince's Tale' but I don't think that rules out any contact between him and Lily between those times. It was an extract of the most essential snapshots for Harry to understand their story.


	5. Chapter 5 Battle for the Pillar

Chapter 5 – Battle for the Pillar

Despite his distraction with Lily, he must have slept after all, because suddenly he was being jerked awake by a stab across his Mark as vicious as the one he'd used to rouse Lucius. He grabbed for his wand and sat up, eyes adjusting to the vision through his mask. The sky was still dark. Lucius and Potter were visible in the light from the Pillar, standing at the crest of the hill with their wands up. There was the sound of a commotion coming from somewhere out in the darkness. He scrambled to his feet and ran over to Lucius, his own wand ready. Lily was right behind him. 'What's happening?' he hissed.

'The destroyers have turned up,' said Lucius shortly, his voice still distorted. 'Look.'

The Ministry camps were visible, lit up more brightly with several magic orbs. Moving amongst the tents were figures in the robes and hoods of Death Eaters. 'You lied to us!' gasped Lily, moving her wand.

Lucius grabbed it before she could do anything. 'Those aren't Death Eaters,' he snapped.

'How do you know?'

'We have ways of knowing.' He glared at her a moment longer and then released her wand. 'Obviously the Ministry aren't going to send people with 'Ministry employee' on the back of their robes. They're trying to pin this on us, remember?'

Severus watched with a growing sense of dread. 'They're making pretty short work of the 'guards'.' He glanced at Lily. 'Let's hope they haven't decided that a spot of extra murder will help their cause further.'

'Don't talk to me about murder, Death Eater,' she returned.

Potter suddenly grabbed their robes and pulled them back. 'Come on, get back, we don't want them to see us,' he hissed. 'We're massively outnumbered. We counted at least twenty. Three will be our people – provided they managed to do what they planned to, but that's not enough. We need to do something, and fast. What about the protective charms? Which one of you was the one who thought that would be a good idea?'

'I did,' said Severus. 'I think we should go for an anchored static protection charm.'

'A what?' asked Lucius irritably.

'It's a strong protective charm that you attach to something at several points, so it forms a case – a bubble, if you like. We could each take a corner, and anchor it to the ground. The Pillar would push it up and out, creating a dome around itself. As long as it held, it would offer protection against magic and even against physical encroachment to some degree.' He looked instinctively at Lily. 'What do you think?'

'What if the Pillar sucks the magic in instead of pushing it out?' asked Lily.

'Then we've lost nothing.'

She shrugged and nodded. 'It's worth a try. But it will be very hard to work a spell like that, this close to the Pillar. It will take a lot of charms skill.' She cast her husband a slightly doubtful look.

'It only needs one of us to actually anchor it. If the others can just hold onto it, the more skilled charms workers can anchor their own, and then run back and help the others.'

Lily shook her head. 'The last will be the hardest to place. You can't leave the weaker members holding it. One of us will need to go back and help, and then the other will have to anchor the charm last.'

'I am still here you know,' said Potter, glaring at Severus even though Lily had been excluding him just as much. Severus felt a warm glow of triumph. 'I'm not that bad at charms, in fact, I'm pretty good. Of course I can hold it.'

'And I can,' chipped in Lucius, also sounding a little hurt. 'What's the incantation?'

The question sparked a brief debate between Severus and Lily about what the best spell would be, with Potter adding unhelpful comments of his own. Lucius wandered away, keeping an eye on their opponents. He Marked Severus, '_They've subdued all the guards. Now they're regrouping at the base of the hill. There are loads of them! Shit!' _

'_Keep your cool,' _Severus Marked back, thinking it probably wasn't the time to remind Lucius whose idea this had been.

They settled on the incantation, and spread out to four corners of the hill. They stood close to the brow, as far from the Pillar as they could go without starting down the slope. Severus and Lily performed the charm first, and after a moment, a bright line like lightning leapt from each of their wands to join up in the middle. He felt a thrill at being so connected, but couldn't dwell on it. The spell was taking all of his concentration to keep going. The Pillar's force was driving the magic downwards, trying to earth the spell before he could complete it. There was a shout from the base of the hill – they'd been seen. Time was short.

He felt a jolt from behind, and realised Lucius had also successfully cast the spell. Glancing across at Lily, he saw a similar bright band linked her and Potter. It was ready. He nodded to Lily, before drawing in all his concentration, and carefully bringing his wand tip down to the ground. It took him almost thirty seconds to anchor the spell, something that he could have done near instantly under normal conditions. As soon as he was sure it was attached, he pulled away his wand and ran back to Lucius.

His friend was on his knees, gripping his wand with both hands. His knuckles were white and Severus knew that sweat would be pouring down the usually calm face. He touched his wand to Lucius', helping him draw it down the rest of the way to the ground, anchoring it. Once it was attached, Lucius slumped onto the ground, chest heaving with exertion. Severus turned and immediately ran to Potter. The longer this went on, the harder it would get for Lily, holding the whole spell on her own.

Potter had remained on his feet, though like Lucius he'd placed both hands on his wand. His face bore an expression of noble suffering that he probably practiced in the mirror. Severus was sorely tempted to trick Potter, perhaps taking the strain and then letting it slip back. It would be like flicking a rubber band in Potter's face. But the backlash could hurt Lily, and the Ministry people might start up the hill at any moment, so he restrained himself.

Fixing the spell to the ground was very hard, and it took three tries before he got it. He had to admit that Potter's grip on it was very good, and without it he probably couldn't have anchored it at all. But there was no time to think about anything, because as soon as he knew the spell was anchored, he was on his feet and running to Lily. He could hear Potter behind him.

Lily had screwed up her face in effort, and seemed to be holding her breath. She stood, feet apart, back ramrod straight, her whole frame rigid and trembling with effort. Her hands shook violently as they grasped her wand, but if you looked more closely, it was more a case of Lily's hands shaking the rest of her body as her wand twitched and jerked in the powerful magical forces. He said her name, holding out his wand, and she opened her eyes to look dead into his.

Their wandtips touched and he gasped, 'Together!' Wands together, not breaking eye contact for a second, they drew the spell down, inch by inch. He knew Potter was somewhere beside them, but he couldn't see him. The whole world had narrowed down to just Lily, and the spell they held between them. He stared into those beautiful green eyes, never wanting to look away. It was almost a shock when his hand grazed the grass.

Anchoring the spell took all their effort, with Lily holding it and him tacking it down bit by bit. Once he'd got it loosely connected, he ran back round again, thinking how Flitwick would be proud of his use of the rules of thaumostasis. When he felt the magic stop twisting, he stopped. A pulse from the invisible dome now stretching up beside them and over the Pillar told him they'd succeeded.

But there was no time to relax or congratulate each other. The fake Death Eaters were halfway up the hill, and Potter and Lucius were rushing forwards to meet them. 'Get back!' yelled Severus. 'Get back, behind the shield!'

Potter, obviously realising the sense in this, ran back, but Lucius hesitated. Severus realised why. The Ministry people were advancing up the side of the hill where the broom was hidden. Their escape route would be cut off. Someone threw a jinx at Lucius and only his quick reflexes saved him. Swearing, Severus ran to join his friend, shoving past Potter. He tried to curse the wizard at the forefront of the little vanguard, but the spell misfired, jerking his wand up and almost out of his hand. Sweating now, he just managed to retain his grip.

Lucius had cast a makeshift shield charm across himself now and was retreating in an undignified scramble back up the hill. Severus ran forwards. _'Go! Go back!' _he Marked his friend.

Wand up and ready, he got ready to engage the advancing group. They had the look of Aurors, he realised, all dark clothing and lithe movement. He fired off a volley of spells to cover Lucius' retreat. Two of them responded, and the next moment he was duelling three at once. He duelled silently, always his trademark, pre-empting their moves. He had an advantage in being more familiar with the distorting effect of the Pillar's magic. But they were good, and he was outnumbered, and he was being forced back. He'd have liked to have turned tail and run, but they'd have brought him down before he got a pace. His only hope was to inch back up the hill to the shield dome.

As they got higher up, the duel became slower as all the participants struggled with the spells. A shield charm turned into a rebounding wall of force that nearly decapitated him. He ducked just in time, thanking Lucius' physical training for something at last. But there was no recovery time; his opponents had already tried to cut in with more jinxes, and if both had been successful one would have caught him. Luckily the second wizard misjudged the forcefield's effect and the spell exploded at the tip of his wand, causing him to fall back, cursing.

Severus gained a few more feet of hill, and could feel the ground levelling under his feet. Just in time, because more people were looming out of the darkness towards him now. He summoned all his power, and threw out a powerful Knock-Back jinx, which was enough to send the nearest four people tumbling. He sprinted back up the hill and threw himself onto the grass inside the shimmering distortion of the protective wall.

'That was too damn close!' gasped Lucius, whom he realised had pulled him through the shield.

Looking back, Severus could see the Ministry forces approaching on all sides, their faces strangely blurred as though viewed underwater. 'Is that thing going to hold?' asked Lucius.

'Never against all of them,' replied Severus. 'We'll have to get close to the Pillar and try to duel our way out. The only other option is to try and run, but there's too many…'

'No,' said Lucius, staring at the approaching enemy. 'No, there is another way.' Without warning he ran to the left, and grabbed Lily, who was standing ready in the face of the advancing Ministry forces. She gave a shriek of terror, and Severus jumped between her and Potter, wand out, to stop his enemy interfering. 'Stop! Stay back or the mudblood gets it!' shouted Lucius, wand on her throat. 'I mean it! You've seen what we Death Eaters can do – _real _Death Eaters! Don't make me blow her up!'

The people outside the bubble had stopped. Potter was yelling abuse, telling Lucius to let Lily go, cursing them and himself for trusting Death Eaters. Lily herself was still and calm, and still holding her wand. She could probably free herself if she wanted to, so Severus took it as a sign she was playing along. Lucius shouted again, 'Back off! Back away, or I _will_ kill her!'

Some of them were obeying, moving away, but Severus knew it was hopeless. How long before an Auror noticed where her wand was and put two and two together? Or decided that it was worth the risk to rush them anyway? He gave it a minute at most. Still covering Potter, he silently prepared himself to duel. Once the fake Death Eaters broke through, there was every possibility that Potter would switch and fight alongside them, forgetting his desire to protect the Pillar in his desperation to harm the two Death Eaters. He didn't fear for Lily – he was certain Lucius wouldn't be able to carry out his threat and kill her in person, even assuming she didn't manage to stop him anyway.

Then something odd happened. The distortion in the air increased, skewing the faces of those on the other side of the barrier. It looked as though their heads had been transplanted onto their knees. There was a whistling noise that had been increasing for some time, but became apparent all of a sudden. He could feel the magic in the air around, a sense of greasiness and tension. The air blurred more, rippling like water, becoming white. Little sparks of static electricity pinged off his hair and fingertips, causing him to jump.

Now the people on the other side of the bubble were retreating in earnest, running. Through an increasing wall of white noise, he heard someone shout, 'Get away, get away, it's going to blow!'

A sense of weight and oppression pushed him to his knees. He looked up to see the shield now clearly visible, glowing with a strange white light. Lightning crackled along it, radiating out from the Pillar. The Pillar itself was glowing like a search light, splitting the dark sky, and the ground itself was beginning to shake.

Lucius had released Lily, and she'd run to James. Now all four of them cowered, forced to the ground, staring open mouthed in terror at the disaster they'd managed to create. 'What's happening?' screamed Lucius, crawling to Severus. His eyes were wild, beyond terrified.

'I don't know!' Severus gasped back. 'We've done too much magic!'

'Should we run?' yelled Lucius, over the ever-increasing whistling. Bolts of blue-white light were spreading over the dome like cracks now.

'Through that!' yelped Severus incredulously, who was suddenly facing realisation that he might be about to die here, on this hilltop. Watching Lily cling to Potter.

There was a strange dizzying sensation, as though they were on a roundabout. The whole hilltop seemed to twist, throwing the four erstwhile defenders of the Pillar outwards like a centrifuge. Severus hit the ground and rolled a short way down the hill, ears ringing. The shield had disappeared, and Severus vaguely thought they might have just experienced a Temporal Fluctuation. If he hadn't been petrified he might have found it fascinating.

But there was no time for analysing events. The 'shield' no long shimmered around them, instead silver white light, crackling with lightning, streamed from the top of the Pillar. It seemed like a small but intense electrical storm was gathering in the sky. There was a weird strobe effect, which made the world appear as a series of disjointed still images, like a badly animated cartoon. The ground was still shaking and an audible rumbling was coming from within the earth below. The whistling sound was louder than ever, drowning out everything else.

Severus looked around for Lucius but could see no sign of his friend. Movement caught his eye and he saw Lily close to the Pillar, sitting up and holding her ankle, her face contorted with pain. He began to crawl drunkenly up the hill towards her, disorientated by the flashing light. She saw him coming and moved for her wand, but he held up his own. 'We have to get out!' he shouted over the noise, pushing away her protesting hands and taking her ankle. It was swelling up – she must have twisted it when they were thrown.

'You can't use magic now!' she shrieked as he pressed his wand to the spot.

'I think it's a bit late for caution!' he replied, and sure enough, it felt easier to work the spell than he'd expected. It was as though all the power of the Pillar was now channelled upwards into the storm.

She gasped as she felt the healing charm work, but there was no time for thanks because at that moment a red jet of light skimmed them missing Severus by an inch. He threw himself to the side. As though in a stop motion animation he saw Potter fifty metres away, then closer, then Lily on her feet and running towards her fiancé. Severus began to run in the opposite direction, but at the crest of the hill he was faced with the sight of a ring of Ministry men at the bottom, wands ready. They had removed the Death Eater masks. He recognised Black, Lupin and Pettigrew among them, calling frantically to Lily and Potter. They must have been the other half of the Order's plan.

Lily and Potter were halfway down already, on their way to rejoining their friends and restoring the usual state of affairs. Lily half turned, looking back over her shoulder. Potter tugged her hand, shouted something to her. But Lily was looking up at Severus, then back at the Ministry forces, then at James. He could make out her reply, 'What about him?'

He didn't need to hear or lipread Potter's response to know that it was, 'He's a Death Eater! Now hurry up!'

Lily looked back at Severus again, a look of true desperation. At that moment a voice sounded in his head, surprisingly clear. _'Behind you, to the left!'_

There was barely time to half turn and reach out before Lucius barrelled into him, hauling him onto the broom with what Severus recognised as a powerful gripping charm. Quidditch had finally proven to have a use in the real world. Who'd have thought? He clung on tightly, trying to find a safer seat, as Lucius sped away from the Pillar. '_Watch out!' _warned Severus, as several jets of light exploded among them. Lucius jinked and swerved, just evading them.

Looking down, still trying hard not to slip sideways off the broom, Severus saw every remaining witch and wizard with their wands pointing up at them, trying to knock them from the sky. Holding on with one increasingly sweaty hand, he sent down a volley of powerful Stunners, causing them to scatter. Lucius was gaining height again, trying to zig-zag away. He would be heading for the higher ground of the valley sides, sufficiently far from the Ministry forces to land and disapparate.

A shape appeared in the darkness before them, a huge spectral form. Severus screamed before realising what it was. 'Thestrals! They've got thestrals!' He caught a glimpse of the man riding it, dressed in some sort of uniform, before Lucius jerked them round. Now they were heading back towards the Pillar, which was almost obscured in a crackling electrical storm. Volleys of spells continued to explode around them, and Severus nearly fell off as Lucius was forced to twist and dive in the air. '_What do we do?' _asked Lucius, mixed in with a string of swearwords.

Another thestral loomed in front of them, its red eyes manic with fear, and Lucius went into a sideways drop of nauseating speed. Severus knew he wouldn't stay on the broom much longer. _'Apparate!_'

'_Off a moving broom? We'll both be splinched!' _The broom dropped a foot as Lucius had to brake sharply to avoid another spell.

'_It's our only choice. Go fast and on three, pull the broom round in a circle. I'll cast the spell. _Go!_' _The last was screamed as a thestral flapped up right in front of them.

Lucius put on a sudden burst of speed, flying straight at the thestral. Severus understood the expression 'heart in your mouth' for the first time, as he counted down. He held his wand tightly with one hand, and managed to get the other arm firmly crocked around Lucius' waist. The thestral was metres away now, the rider's eyes showing white all around as the two Death Eaters on a broom barrelled towards him at breakneck speed. The thestral itself however remained still, every inch of its bony body now visible.

'_Three!' _Just as collision was inevitable, Lucius dragged the broom into a tight turn and Severus concentrated as hard as he could. Determination, deliberation, destination. There was a tearing sound in the air, a sickening lurch and a pop, and then a sense of falling. Moments later, he smashed into the ground and instantly everything went black.

Consciousness returned hazily at first, then with a sudden burst of clarity. He sat up, causing his head to spin so much he retched. Everything hurt, but he seemed to be alive, and not missing any limbs. Rounded grey shapes of tombstones were visible all around him. His ears thundered with tinnitus. He crawled over the ground to where another human shape lay, unmoving. 'Lucius, Lucius!' he groaned as he reached his friend. He touched the body, terrified that when he turned it he would find the front missing, splinched away.

When it turned, for a moment a shriek escaped his lips at the sight of it. The face had gone, replaced only by raw bone. He'd killed him! He'd killed Lucius! Then the bone moved, and rationality returned as he realised it was the mask. He pulled off the hood, revealing a groggy Lucius, coughing as he tried to sit up. Long red grazes were visible on Lucius' cheeks, and when Severus looked more closely at his own body, he realised his was the same, and their clothes were torn and ragged. There was a good reason no one apparated off of a moving broom. He closed his eyes momentarily. It was a miracle they were both alive.

He slumped down on the ground next to Lucius, and the two friends lay side by side, exhausted and aching, staring up at the night sky. After a few minutes, Severus spoke through slightly bleeding lips, 'Next time you want to protect our heritage, count me out.'

Before Lucius could reply, a face appeared above them, silhouetted against the stars. A cruel face, with a reddish hue to the eyes. 'Well if it isn't the _heroes_,' it said, in the precise and deadly voice of the Dark Lord. 'Get up. It is time to explain yourselves.'

Author's Notes

A bit of action for you. Like most action scenarios, it needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. But it was fun to write and hopefully fun to read. I had really wanted to write a scenario where Lily rescued Severus, rather than vice versa, but with him in his Death Eater guise I wasn't sure if it would ring true.


	6. Chapter 6 Diplomacy

Chapter 6 - Diplomacy

Numbed by new terror, Severus managed to get to his feet, and reached down to help pull Lucius to his. His body felt oddly hollow, as though the emotions and exertions of the past few hours had physically reduced him. Voldemort stood before them. 'Follow me,' he said icily, turning away. They stumbled after him across the graveyard, Lucius gripping Severus' arm just above the elbow. A few soft 'pops' in the darkness around them indicated that other Death Eaters were arriving.

They entered the church by a side door. As the Dark Lord crossed the threshold, harsh bright light filled the interior. Severus saw a long narrow table in the centre, covered with a dark cloth. High backed chairs were arranged in perfectly straight, symmetrical rows on either side. An ostentatious throne was at one end, on a slightly raised platform. Voldemort led them to the platform and held up a hand for them to stop. He stood in front of the throne, watching as Death Eaters filed in.

Most were somewhat dishevelled, as though they had not expected to be called. Some were not wearing hoods at all, just ordinary travelling cloaks. Severus recognised Bellatrix, looking flushed and excited, followed by Roddy and his brother. They took their places around the table, and Severus noted that this did not appear to be random. Everyone was selecting a very specific place.

Once all of the seats but one were occupied, Voldemort spoke. 'Some of you may be aware that the Pillar of Storge is gone, destroyed,' he began. A ripple of surprise ran around the assembled Death Eaters. Lucius himself gasped, then covered his mouth with a trembling hand. Voldemort continued, 'It imploded in a powerful thaumic surge. I believe there is nothing left there except hoards of Ministry fools, engaged in a cover-up attempt.'

He paused, looking around the assembled faces to ensure every one was fixed on his own, enthralled. 'The implosion occurred after four young people, aiming to protect the Pillar, enacted a powerful shield charm in the vicinity. Scores of Ministry employed wizards were surrounding the area, bent on its destruction. Of those young people, two were members of my Death Eaters.' He indicated Severus and Lucius, as every pair of eyes turned accusingly towards them. Bellatrix gasped and paled at this revelation about her brother-in-law, and a ripple of consternation ran around the others.

'Kneel before me,' said Voldemort instructed the two. They knelt, the cold stone of floor seeping through their robes. Severus could feel Lucius trembling beside him, hear his shaking breaths. His skin was almost grey with fear, and sweat beaded his upper lip. Severus had never seen his friend so frightened before.

'So here we have two of my loyal Death Eaters, my carefully selected associates. Uninstructed by me, they acted on their own accord, undertaking a mission that was doomed to fail. The two of them were pitted against the full force of the Ministry. They could not hope to succeed.'

Lucius' Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed convulsively. He was shaking so hard now that Severus began to tremble in sympathy. The Dark Lord was not above killing Death Eaters who disappointed him, and the misery of being in disgrace was almost as bad a fate. Voldemort continued, 'These two young men, these foolish, arrogant young men. These two brave, noble young men.'

It took a moment for them to realise what Voldemort had said. Lucius made an inadvertent squeaky noise. The Dark Lord continued, 'When a piece of our noble wizarding heritage was threatened, these young heroes did not wait to be told what to do. They did not need to ask to know what course of action Lord Voldemort would command. They understood that our mission is to protect the wizarding world, to preserve our fine traditions. Like my great ancestor, Salazar Slytherin, they acted independently and boldly. Despite the danger they were in, with great bravery they fought. My young friends, rise up, come and sit beside me.'

There was a collective gasp around the assembled Death Eaters, and much awkward shuffling to make space at the top of the table, where another chair had appeared. Lucius could barely stand, and Severus felt clammy with relief as they took their new places. 'You shall be rewarded, by bravest and best young Death Eaters. What is it you most desire?'

Lucius managed to croak, 'My only desire is to serve you, my Lord.'

'Oh, very noble, Lucius. I would have expected no less from you. And you, young Severus? What is your desire?' Images of Lily flashed across Severus' mind, a hot wave of desire that he fought desperately to disguise. Voldemort laughed. 'A woman, indeed? You desire a woman. Very well, a woman can be found. But not just any woman, for our young hero. No, you shall have whatever woman you wish. When you find her, Severus, you tell me, and Lord Voldemort shall deliver her to you.'

'Thank you, My Lord,' he choked, unable to look him in the eye, feeling his cheeks burn red.

There was an awkward moment, as everyone adjusted to the new circumstances. Then Bellatrix spoke. 'My Lord? Permission to speak?'

'Go ahead,' said Voldemort.

'My Lord, Severus and Lucius have done much damage tonight. They have destroyed the Pillar…'

'Yes, Bella. Of course, if more Death Eaters had acted, that may not have been the case. Four people – two Death Eaters and two members of Dumbledore's Order – could not hope to defend it successfully alone against the Ministry. However if _all _of my Death Eaters had been there… it would be a very different story.' He fixed Bellatrix with a cold red glare.

'But my Lord!' spluttered Bellatrix. 'My Lord… we did not know! My Lord instructed us to ignore the Ministry, to follow only our orders…'

'And did I give you orders to kill and dismember Benjy Fenwick?' At this, Bellatrix reddened and squirmed. 'I thought not. So it seems my orders are open to interpretation, even by my _most loyal _followers.'

'My Lord knows I aim only to do what He would Himself wish,' whispered Bella.

'Exactly, Bellatrix, and I wished for you to protect the Pillar. Any true Death Eater would know that our heritage, unique magical artefacts, is of vital importance to Lord Voldemort and His noble cause.' He glared at her again, as her heavy lidded eyes filled with tears. Severus reflected that he'd be best to avoid dinner with the Lestranges and the Malfoys for a while.

'Still, there is nothing to be gained by recriminations,' said Voldemort, turning away from Bellatrix. 'This is a blow to us all, but it cannot be reversed. I fear this will embolden the Ministry. We must proceed with greater caution. Augustus, return straight away and gather as much intelligence you can. I want to know what the Ministry is doing and what it plans to do, and what international contacts have occurred.'

One of the hooded Death Eaters seated close to Voldemort rose from his chair, bowed low, and backed out of the room. The Dark Lord turned to another follower, a thin man with a long face who hadn't bothered with his hood. 'Antonin, go to Hogsmeade and keep an eye on the school. I want to know if Dumbledore is seen entering or leaving. Herman, B-cell shall remain here to keep guard until further notice. Hesperides, go and lean on the _Prophet_ – try and generate a bit of interest about the two Order members who tried to protect the Pillar.'

He turned back to Bellatrix, whose lips were slightly parted, eyes darting as though searching for a way to redeem herself. 'My Lord?' she gasped eagerly, leaning forwards.

'Bellatrix, your squad should pay a visit to the warlock in Derby that we discussed. Make it as messy as you like, something else to occupy the front pages. Rack up the collateral damage a bit. The full works.'

'Oh yes, my Lord!' She nearly fell over in her eagerness to stand. 'I won't let You down!' She shot one last murderous look at Lucius before backing out, pressing her finger to her Mark as she left to call her cell. Roddy and Rabastan also bowed and followed.

'The rest of you, disperse and await further instructions. Cell leaders, ensure everyone keeps their heads down. I do not want any more surprises. I will hold a meeting for all members tomorrow at ten. Ensure no one does anything to upset things before that.' He raised a hand. 'You are dismissed.'

There was a scraping of chairs as everyone got to their feet and began backing out as fast as they could. No one lingered. Severus watched Lucius for his cue, and copied his friend's very deep bow in the direction of Voldemort before shuffling out beside him.

Malfoy Manor looked reassuringly familiar as they arrived on the gravel drive. For the first time, the two friends looked at each other properly, unsure of what to say. After a moment, Lucius patted Severus on the back. 'Welcome to the inner circle, old thing,' he said, with a trace of his usual self.

'Thanks for coming back for me,' said Severus.

Lucius shrugged, and turned as the front door was thrown upon, spilling golden candlelight across the drive. 'There you are!' squealed Narcissa, running headlong down the stairs to throw herself at Lucius. After holding him for a second she drew back and began to pummel him with her fists. 'Have you any idea how scared I've been?'

'It's fine, it's all fine now,' said Lucius, trying to fend her off. Then more sharply, 'Cissy, please, I'm battered and bleeding and only got two hours' sleep last night. Let me get inside and get some dittany and a stiff drink.'

Half an hour later they were sitting in the drawing room, feeling slightly more human in clean robes, with the worst of their grazes healing and several glasses of expensive looking amber liquid inside them. Lucius was narrating a highly embellished account of their exploits. Severus lay back in one of the Malfoys' impossibly comfortable armchairs, and allowed his mind to wander. He began to run back over every moment he'd spent with Lily over the past twenty-four hours.

He'd never seriously believed he'd get to spend time with Lily like that again. Already the events seemed like a dream, too good to be true. But he knew they were real, and he had to think about what they meant. Lily had been prepared to work with them, prepared to look back with concern as she fled. That had to mean something. Maybe, when the Death Eaters had won, she would come around to Severus. Once he'd arranged for her life to be spared, once she realised that Potter's heroics in the pointless Order had only endangered her, whereas Severus' pragmatic acceptance of the winning side had ultimately preserved her. Lily was no fool. She would realise, eventually…

He woke up, stiff necked and bleary, hours later. The fire had burned right down. There was no sign of the Malfoys, but someone had tucked a blanket around him and removed the glass from his hand. He wondered which of them had done it – Lucius, surely. Or maybe the job had fallen to Dobby. Sitting up a bit, he checked his grazes and was satisfied to see the dittany had done its work. He limped across to the window and lifted the heavy velvet curtain aside. Outside the leaded diamond panes, the sky was the washed-out grey of first light.

Sighing, he clicked his fingers and said, 'Dobby?' The elf appeared beside him a moment later with a pop, making him jump.

'Ah, master is awake. Would master like Dobby to make him some breakfast?' It gazed up at him, cringing slightly, its eyes wide with a hope that was born of optimism rather than experience.

'What? Oh… no thanks, I have to go. Please give Lucius a message, tell him thank you for his kind hospitality and that I had to go to work.'

'Of course, master. Can Dobby do anything else for master?'

'No, that's all. Thank you. I must go now. Good day.'

The flat was exactly as he'd left it, which felt wrong somehow. Such momentous things had happened in between then and now it didn't seem possible that the same dirty mugs could be sitting on the worksurface in the kitchen, his work robes rumpled just as they were when he changed out of them before going to Lucius'.

'Lily?' he said aloud, trying out the sound of her name on his lips again, and then clamped his mouth shut crossly. He'd better not forget that she was on the other side in this war, at least at the moment, and any external hint that he liked her was only going to lead to danger for both of them. So as he showered and put on his work robes, he tried hard to suppress his thoughts.

A week later, Severus and Lucius were called to an audience with Voldemort. They stood before him, heads humbly bowed. Severus was trying not to look at a gigantic python, which was lazily swallowing a bloodied piece of meat, but his eyes kept getting drawn back in horrified fascination. He tried very hard to keep his mind closed and blank. Voldemort ignored the snake and paced thoughtfully up and down. They waited in uncomfortable silence until he eventually spoke. 'These two who protected the Pillar with you, they seem like talented, brave young people?' he asked.

Exchanging a quick glance with Severus, Lucius cautiously replied, 'I suppose you could say so, my Lord.'

Voldemort flicked his wand and images of Potter and Lily appeared in the air. 'Part of Dumbledore's Order,' mused Voldemort, allowing the images to rotate. 'He is a pureblood, I believe, and she a mudblood.'

'Ostensibly, my Lord. At school it was widely believed she may be a half-blood. Her talents are such that would suggest some magical heritage.'

'Interesting. I gather they were Head Boy and Girl of Hogwarts. And she a member of the Slug Club. What a shame that Dumbledore has managed to corrupt them. But their defence of Storge indicates they may not be entirely unsympathetic to our cause. Many of their Order felt it was not a worthwhile endeavour, and in Dumbledore's absence they were unwilling to act. Yes, they would make valuable Death Eaters.'

Lucius gasped slightly, and covered his mouth. Severus, whose heart had seized up, managed to remain expressionless. Voldemort smiled at Lucius. 'Now, now, Lucius. She may not be entirely pure, but I am prepared to make exceptions for people with sufficient talent. You say she is half-blooded, and it is the wizard part of the blood that is important. I thought you were similarly pragmatic. After all, is not your best friend a half-blood?' He indicated Severus, who felt the heat rise in his cheeks. He did not like anyone, least of all Lucius, being reminded of his heritage.

After spluttering for a moment, Lucius said, 'I meant no disrespect, my Lord. I was surprised, but as You say, one should always be pragmatic.'

'Indeed one should. So, I wish for you two to go and make an offer to these promising young people. Invite them to join us. Emphasise that this is an invitation from Lord Voldemort himself, that they have been personally selected. It may be a little challenging to convince them, but I have great faith in your powers of persuasion, Lucius.'

'My Lord flatters me,' said Lucius, bowing. He had regained his composure quickly and was back to smooth sycophancy. He hesitated. 'And if… if they refuse, my Lord?'

Severus felt sick as he awaited the answer. Voldemort took his time, staring at the pictures of Lily and Potter like a cat at a particularly fat mouse. Finally he replied, 'There is a reason I am sending you two, and not dear Bellatrix. If they refuse, let them go unmolested. They might come around. If they do not, they will be dealt with in the fullness of time.' He flicked his hand and a piece of parchment appeared in his fingers. 'You'll need this.'

'We will go forthwith, my Lord,' said Lucius, bowing as he took the slip, careful not to touch Voldemort's hand as he did so.

'How do we get to talk to them?' Severus asked Lucius, once they were out of earshot of Voldemort. 'I don't think they're going to take very well to us propositioning them in the street.'

'Don't be dense, old bean. Of course we're not going to proposition them in the street. We'll request for them to come to a parley tonight.'

'A what?' Severus had to wait for answer because they'd reached the outside of the church and were able to disapparate back to Malfoy Manor. Once they were safely inside the driveway, he repeated the question.

'Parley, Severus. A meeting between two opposing sides to discuss certain matters, with the safety of each party guaranteed.' Lucius' voice dripped condescension. He took the parchment slip and held it carefully between his forefinger and thumb, then blew on it. It twitched and folded, becoming a small black bat. It fluttered its wings for a moment, and then disappeared.

'We _meet _with the other side?' Severus was so surprised he hardly had time to be impressed at the magic behind the bat.

'Of course we do. Goodness me, you're so naïve sometimes. In almost all wars some form of communication – diplomacy if you like – takes place between the opponents. How did you think things like prisoner exchanges happen – by lucky coincidence?' Lucius chuckled as though this was greatly amusing.

Severus was still feeling irritated by Lucius' superior attitude when they arrived later that night at the spot reserved for parleys. It was on a windswept moor, not far from where the Pillar had once stood. 'All this area is unplottable and covered in Muggle-repelling charms,' explained Lucius. 'Now, put your wand in your pocket and leave it there.'

Reluctantly, Severus obeyed, though every instinct protested against it. He followed Lucius through the bracken, tripping and stumbling, up an incline to a clearing. His fingers were tingling at the thought of seeing Lily. He began to fantasise that Lily would accept the offer and come over to his side, whilst Potter would leave in disgust. He was so distracted that he tripped and fell into Lucius. 'What is the _matter_ with you?' asked Malfoy sharply. 'For goodness sake, stay still and keep quiet. Watch and learn.'

Two figures appeared a short distance away. Lily and Potter, walking hand in hand, wands conspicuously absent. Lily was wearing a green hooded cloak, and curls of her hair fell over her shoulders. Severus stared at the gentle swell of her chest, the way her freckles seemed to float above her pale skin. As she came closer he could hear his breathing growing louder, feel sweat beading his brow.

When they entered the clearing, Potter and Lily stopped at the very edge. Lucius made a small, stiff bow, keeping his arms at his sides with open palms. Severus followed suit. Lily and Potter responded with bows so slight they barely moved. 'Good evening,' said Lucius, using the voice distortion on his mask again. 'Have you any messages?'

'None,' said Potter. 'You requested the parley. What do you want?'

'We bring a message from the Dark Lord. You fought alongside two of our brethren at the battle of the Pillar of Storge. You showed talent, and bravery, and a willingness to risk your lives for the heritage of wizardkind. The Dark Lord values these traits.'

Potter made a noise of disgust, and Lily curled her lip. Lucius continued, 'The Dark Lord, therefore, wishes to personally invite you to join his noble cause…'

Lucius didn't manage to finish because both Potter and Lily had exploded with contemptuous noises. Potter began, '_Noble _cause?' whereas Lily went with, 'Never in a million years!'

'I suspected you would react like this,' Lucius went on. 'But I would urge you to think again. You are talented individuals. You could have a great future in this world. You are intelligent enough to know you have picked the losing side. That doesn't have to be the case. You don't have to die. You can change everything now. You may not agree with every aspect of the Dark Lord's philosophy, but you may find your aims are not so different from His. And you have a far better chance of making a positive difference if you are on the inside, than you do of making any difference to anything with Dumbledore's futile Order.'

'Don't agree with _every_ aspect of his philosophy? We don't agree with _any _aspect of his philosophy!' declared Lily, eyes shining. 'You tell us we're intelligent, and then expect us to believe that by joining up we can somehow change Voldemort's mind about blood purity?' She finished with a derisive laugh at the way the two men had flinched at the sound of Voldemort's name.

'I didn't say that. But within any cause there are… gradations of opinion. Where is this Order going to get you, other than killed? You will not succeed, you do understand that? I'm afraid in real life the brave and the plucky don't win by default. You're outnumbered, outskilled and out of your depth. My colleagues could go to the home of every Order member tonight and kill every one of them.'

'So why don't you?' asked James, eyes flashing.

'Because it would be a waste of time and effort. The Order is finished. The Ministry is finished. Dumbledore is finished. It's only a matter of time. We don't need to hurry things.' Lucius forced a smile through his mask. 'I know what I'm saying is anathema to you both. All I ask is that you think about this for a little while. In difficult times, we all need to be pragmatic. We'd all like to stand up for exactly what we believe in, but eventually we have to compromise some aspects of it in order to achieve the rest.'

Lily laughed almost hysterically. 'You talk about compromise as though all you are doing is disagreeing on some minor point! Your idea of compromise is to tolerate murder and torture!'

'There are some Death Eaters who resort to extreme measures. If you look at history, you'll see that's the case with any rebel organisation. It doesn't mean the underlying cause is less valid. What happens is, over time those individuals are edged out. Then the moderate majority can get on with the real work of building a Britain that is a better place for wizards to live.'

It was a measured, lucid speech, with just the slightest note of entreaty at the end. Listening to Lucius made Severus feel like joining up all over again. But Lily was less impressed. 'So you're the _good_ Death Eaters, are you?' she asked in a mocking voice. 'Tell me, Death Eater, what aspects of your personal beliefs have you compromised in order to achieve the rest, as you put it?'

'I have never had any interest in killing. The lunatics have too much sway at present. The moderates among us are outvoiced. But with two powerful people such as yourselves to swell the numbers, I really think we would stand a chance. What do you say? Do you want to join up and make a positive difference?'

'When hell freezes over,' said Lily and James in unison. Lily added, 'And you can tell Voldemort from us, that we'd rather die than join him.'

'It is your choice,' said Lucius heavily, as though he genuinely regretted it. 'A strange decision, but what I'd have expected. If you change your minds then request a parley through the usual mechanism. But don't leave it too late.' He clicked his heels together and bowed again, more ostentatiously. Potter nodded back, and Lily simply turned away with a noise of disgust. Lucius clicked his fingers at Severus and strode away without a backwards glance. Severus, who'd hoped to stare after Lily until the last possible moment, reluctantly followed his friend away across the moor.

'I told you so,' said Lucius, once they were out of sight of Potter and Lily.

'I suppose they might still change their minds.' Severus was keen to cling to whatever small crumbs of hope he could.

'Don't be silly, old bean. One could put a wand to their heads and they wouldn't give in, they're that stubborn and pig headed. Besides, we don't want the likes of them in the Death Eaters anyway. A mudblood and a blood traitor. They'll get what's coming to them.'

'Did you mean what you said?'

Lucius shot him a quick glance. 'One says what one has to. That's diplomacy.' And Severus knew he wouldn't get any more from Lucius on that subject.

Author's notes

I know some readers have found the temporary alliance a stretch to credibility. I did expect it to be controversial and I understand that point of view completely. Thank you to those readers for suspending your disbelief and continuing to read - I promise there won't be any more such situations, so you can sit back, relax and enjoy from now on! I should add that it isn't intended as a slur on Lily or James as characters - in my opinion they did the right thing and the only thing they could realistically do in the circumstances. Of course, every reader will have their own view and that's fine. I just wanted to reassure anyone who's concerned about the direction the story may take that I do not consider the Potters to be closet DEs and I'm not about to start 'bashing' them. Moving on to this chapter, I was always interested by JKR's interview comment that Voldemort wanted Lily and James as DEs - something that seemed unlikely in the circumstances. I'd always hoped we'd learn more in canon about exactly how the Potters 'defied' Voldemort as per the prophecy. So I thought this was an interesting scenario to include here. It also gives Lucius a chance to give a 'straw man' argument which I think is important if you write from the POV of the bad guys. Thanks to all readers and especially to those who have taken the time to review.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - With a Bit of Luck

Getting inducted into the inner circle was a big deal for Severus, but even that wasn't enough to wipe the thoughts of Lily from his mind. He endlessly replayed his three recent encounters with her. After such a long time without seeing her, he felt almost drunk on the fresh contact he'd had. It was amazing to him that the defences he'd built against his feelings for her had crumbled so completely in the face of her presence.

As he lay awake at night, he ran through the same pointless arguments in his head. He was being stupid. His feelings for her brought nothing but pain and misery. There was no rational reason for him to like her. She had rejected his friendship, was on the other side of the war, and was in love with his most hated rival. Even if they did somehow become friends again, it would mean losing Lucius, his hard-won standing with the pureblood crowd, his home, and quite possibly his life. From a logical perspective it made no sense whatsoever to feel the way he did.

Yet to his annoyance, it made no difference. His emotions couldn't just be switched off. He despised himself for this, which only made him feel worse. He wanted to move on and forget her, but she filled his every waking thought and invaded his dreams. The looming date of her wedding just made it worse. As it drew closer, he felt an increasing desperation to do something.

But what? Even Severus knew stopping the wedding was unfeasible. He did seriously consider killing James Potter, but shied away from the idea. Partly because Lily would never forgive him, and though he hated to admit it to himself, partly because Potter had once saved his life. Of course, there was always the chance Potter might get himself killed of his own accord, but Severus doubted his luck could be that good. Luck was something that Severus had never possessed in abundance.

That was when it came to him, so suddenly and brilliantly that he sat up in bed. Why on earth hadn't he thought of it before? There was a way of getting luck, and more importantly, he even had it within his reach. He had been brewing some Felix Felicis, the luck potion, for months. He'd planned to share it with Lucius when they next did something dangerous. In the unexpected excitement over the Pillar he'd forgotten to use it, and since then they'd not had to do anything serious enough.

He decided to wait until the wedding day itself, and take the potion then. He'd travel to the wedding venue, and… do something. He wasn't quite sure what. Stopping the wedding would be ideal, but improbable. But maybe there was a way he could make up with her, get her to be his friend again. Then it wouldn't matter so much if she married Potter. It would make no difference when the Death Eaters won and Potter was killed. War would eventually achieve what luck and even Severus' considerable talents could not. It would see Potter dead and Severus in a position of power. All he needed to do for now was get Lily to feel better about him.

He went through to the kitchen and uncovered his smallest copper cauldron, which sat in a corner under stasis spells. The potion glimmered golden in his wandlight, and fat droplets jumped merrily above the surface. He'd kept it in the cauldron, slightly heated, because he believed he could concentrate and prolong the potency that way. It took a long time to make, and then only in small quantities at a time, so it made sense to Severus to try and find a way of maximising its effectiveness.

'Beautiful,' he spoke out loud, a bad habit born of living alone. 'Just what the Healer ordered!' He smiled down at the potion for a while longer, before carefully covering it again and returning to bed.

The day of the twelfth dawned rainy. Severus watched the grey skies out of the kitchen window. He understood that people hoped for good weather on the day of their wedding. Clearly Lily and Potter had not been taking their Felix. Unlike him. He crossed the kitchen gleefully and extinguished the flame under his cauldron. It was time.

The book suggested a maximum of two tablespoons' dose at once, which should equal a day's worth of good luck. Severus hesitated. His tweaks to strengthen the potion would alter that, but he may not have been successful. Felix should not be taken in excess. But the risks of it not working were too great. He decided he'd go for the full recommended dose. After all, his luck was so rotten to start with he probably had more to compensate for than the average man.

The potion was tasteless, but had a pleasant viscosity on his tongue, like thick hot chocolate. He'd expected it to feel warm as it went down, like whiskey, but it didn't. For a moment, he thought he'd made a mistake with the recipe as nothing happened. Then the most wonderful feeling spread over him. His face lit up in a spontaneous smile. He stood up straighter and un-hunched his shoulders. He felt like there was nothing he couldn't achieve. He felt… _amazing_.

Feeling almost lightheaded, he went to his wardrobe and found his dress robes. They were looking rather dusty, and he had to spend some time working on them. But it didn't matter, he felt confident that he had plenty of time. He took a shower, and even brushed his hair, before putting on his robes. 'Fit for a wedding,' he told his reflection in the mirror.

'See, if you just made an effort more often… Now that nice young man that used to own me, he knew how to take care of his appearance,' replied the mirror.

'Life's too short,' Severus said smugly. Nothing could dent his good mood, not even preachy furniture. He splashed on some highly scented aftershave that Lucius had bought him for Christmas and he'd never opened. Then he took his wand, concentrated, and apparated himself to the northern town where he and Lily had grown up.

He arrived by the old mill, and was greeted with a surge of memories that even the Felix couldn't mask. Unable to resist, he walked around to the brick wall where he and Lily had whiled their summers away, discussing magic and making grand plans for the future that hadn't come to pass. But today he felt like those dreams might still be possible. Today, anything was possible.

'Instinct', driven by Felix, told him the way to walk. He strode the streets of his old town, at once familiar and different. Here was the place where he and Lily used to part of an evening. He could almost smell the balmy summer air, feel the sense of loss he'd experience the moment she walked away. There was the place he'd always sneak a glance back at her. And here, here was the turning that she took in order to get back to her house.

But he didn't follow that path. Felix told him to carry on, following the line of the river. It was even more dilapidated than he remembered. The banks were strewn with litter, the occasional upturned shopping trolley rearing up like the bones of some ancient monster. The water was an impenetrable greyish-brown, giving off a faint smell of decay. He kicked away the odd hypodermic syringe and neatly stepped around dog's mess.

Even these depressing surroundings couldn't dampen his mood though. He had a sensation of lightness, as though he was walking several feet off the ground. It was almost an out-of-body experience. Slight haloes appeared around objects. He saw visions of Lily and of their future together, so clearly they seemed more real than the hulking mill. For the first time, he truly believed that she would come round. One day they would look back on the past three years of estrangement and laugh. 'Do you remember when you were dating James Potter?' he would ask, and Lily would screw up her face and then collapse in gales of laughter. 'James Potter!' she would exclaim. 'I haven't thought about him in years!'

It was a long walk that took him right through the grotty centre of his hometown, across the river again, and into the nicer area. The posh houses, as they'd known them on Spinner's End. He was amazed by how modest and ordinary they looked now. Years of friendship with Lucius had given him a rather bigger idea of what constituted 'posh'. He headed through the park where he had first met Lily. The river seemed different here, nicer. The banks were higher, which meant the murky water was less obvious.

Now he began to sense he was nearing his journey's end. He found himself outside a hotel. It had probably once been a stately home, now tastefully renovated. It boasted 'river views'. Not the nicest location in the world, but probably the nicest in this town. This, he knew at once, was where Lily would be.

Movement caught his eye, and he noticed a man standing at the end of the drive. He was a big, burly kind, dressed in an old trenchcoat. His hand was unobtrusively holding a wand. Severus stooped and pretend to tie a shoelace. Of course, Lily and James would have magical guards around their wedding. It stood to reason. That left him with the small matter of how to get past them. He would need to get lucky…

He stood there for a minute, hoping that Felix would simply create a distraction. But he soon realised that the potion couldn't create miracles from nowhere. He would have to meet luck halfway. Sighing, he felt in his pocket and removed a blank piece of parchment. Then he walked confidently towards the guard, holding his wand tightly. Once he was close enough, he quickly cast a Confundus charm. For a second the guard's face contorted as though to shout out, but then it slackened. A puzzled frown furrowed his brows.

'Good morning, I'm here for the wedding,' said Severus. He spoke quietly, so as not to draw unwanted attention from the other guards.

'The wedding…' repeated the guard, struggling to focus on Severus' face.

'Here is my invitation.' Severus held out the scrap of parchment. 'Now you will let me through please, I don't want to be late.'

'Yes… yes. Yes, you have an invitation.' The guard stepped aside. He recovered enough to add, 'Enjoy your day, sir.'

He didn't waste any time, moving quickly down the driveway. He could see banners outside the hotel, no doubt in honour of the wedding. But Felix told him not to go to the front door. Instead, he found himself walking down the path to the left of the building. At the rear of the hotel, he found they had one of those silly glass buildings Muggles seemed to affix to their houses these days. He wasn't sure of the Muggle word. He supposed they weren't fancy greenhouses.

But he wasn't interested in the architecture, because his eyes had alighted on the sight he most wanted to see. Lily, alone. She was standing in a doorway at the top of a short flight of steps leading from the glass building into the grounds. She was wearing a big white dress and her hair was piled up on top of her head with artfully arranged tendrils framing her face. She was staring out at the grounds. Her face was relaxed and completely happy, the green eyes clear and bright. It was the face of someone with no dark secrets eating at their soul. Only someone as full of pure goodness as Lily was could look as radiant as she did. Or so it seemed to Severus anyway.

Awestruck, he spent what seemed like an eternity staring at her, although it would never be long enough. He was overwhelmed by the strength of his feelings for her. At that moment he would have done anything, anything at all to be with her. Then he pulled himself together and moved forwards, hands suddenly shaking, but Felix urging him on. He had that strange feeling again, of walking slightly above the ground.

Sensing movement, Lily turned and her eyes widened as she saw him. Her relaxed posture changed immediately, tensing as she straightened up, her wand appearing in her hand from some secret compartment in the dress. 'What are you doing here?' she asked in a furious whisper.

'I'm sorry, forgive me,' he said, stopping a short distance from her at the foot of the steps. 'I had to come. I had to see you.'

'Why? We haven't spoken properly for years. It's my wedding day, Severus. I've other things on my mind!'

'But you were on your own,' he pointed out.

She gave an exasperated sigh. 'For ten seconds on my way back from the toilet. I wasn't expecting… I wasn't… what the hell are you doing here, Severus?'

'We used to be friends, best friends. Can't an old friend wish you well on your wedding day? You might have stopped caring about me, but I still care about you. I wanted to see you. I didn't know that you'd see me.' He let Felix guide his words, and began to move away. 'I'm sorry. I didn't come to cause trouble. I'll go.'

'Yes, you should,' she replied, 'I don't know why you came in the first place. Did you think you were going to stop me marrying James?'

'No, of course not. I just…' he trailed off, even Felix being unable to help him articulate what he was doing there.

'Well, you're too late – we're already married. Not that it would make a bit of difference if we weren't.' She shook her head. 'I don't understand you, Severus. You're part of an organisation that wants to kill me. That has tried to kill me. And you stand there saying you care about me.'

'I do!' He glanced around and lowered his voice. 'I _do _care about you.'

'Oh yes, that's right. I'm the exception that proves the rule. It's just my whole family, my husband, most of my friends that you want dead… so _that's _all right. And you don't even understand why it's so wrong! You come here… you come here…' Words failed her and she finished with a frustrated squeak.

'Listen, Lily. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not! I'm a Healer, I save people every day. That's real, it's not put on. I've even saved some of your Order. I don't know what I'm meant to do to make you like me again,' he finished with a sorrowful pout.

She drew a deep breath. 'That's the problem, Severus. You never needed to do anything to make me like you. I liked you all along. I liked the old Severus Snape. You were my best friend, Severus, and I really meant that. I told you and told you not to change, not to try and mimic _them_. But you never listened, you couldn't stop yourself. And bit by bit, that boy I knew slipped away. I watched him go, until the day I realised I was talking to just another pureblood elitist who'd do anything to get his own way in life.'

He gaped at her in silence, Felix telling him to let her have her say. She continued, 'Maybe there's still a trace of that old Severus Snape hidden someone deep inside you, trying to get out. But he can't compete with this persona you've created, this _Half-Blood Prince. _You've been pretending so long now, Severus, it's not pretending anymore, it _is_ you. And I'm not sure that you can come back from that, even if you really wanted to. And you don't. You don't want to, do you? You just want me, as well as everything else you've got.'

It was like that time during the row outside Gryffindor tower that she'd accused him of wanting to join the Death Eaters. He couldn't move to deny it, even though he wanted to. Because he knew it was right. 'You don't just leave,' he said in a choked voice. 'You don't just walk away. No matter how much you want to.'

'Then you shouldn't have joined up in the first place, should you? I don't have any sympathy for you.' She moved away, then hesitated, apparently drawn back. 'No… actually that's wrong. I'm really sad for the Severus Snape that was my best friend. The boy that first told me I was a witch, and went on bike rides on the moors with me, and taught me to write with a quill. I'm desperately, desperately sad to see what's become of him. I look at you, knowing what you are, and I can't quite believe that you're the same person.' Suddenly her eyes were bright with tears. 'It's like he's dead, and you killed him. Sometimes I think, was it my fault, the way you turned out? Was there something I could have said or done to reach out to you, to save you from yourself?'

Tears choked him, and he felt his nose begin to run. 'Lily,' he said, in a gravelly voice. 'It wasn't your fault. You… you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't you ever, ever for one minute think that anything that went wrong in my life was your fault.' Cold lines ran down his checks now, chill in the wind.

She was crying too, though she put her hand up to her face to try and stop it. She opened her mouth to speak again, but Severus' luck had run out. He heard James Potter's voice, from somewhere within the church. 'Lily? Where are you?'

She half turned, her voice slightly higher than usual. 'I'm here! Just coming.' She shot Severus a very hard look, the meaning of which was clear. He melted back, crouching behind a particularly large decorative shrub. James Potter appeared behind Lily, his black hair as messy as ever beneath a top hat. In other circumstances Severus would have had a laugh at what a prat Potter looked, but he'd never felt less like laughing in his life than he did right then.

'What are you doing? Not running away are you?' he asked, his voice light and happy. It was the voice of a man who had never known the bitter disappointment or sheer despair that Severus had. He moved to kiss her neck, hands snaking round her waist. Severus, who hated witnessing any public displays of affection, for a moment wondered if it would be such a bad thing to kill Potter right there. One single killing curse, clean and simple. But he knew he couldn't.

'Just having a breather, it's a bit intense, isn't it? I don't think I've ever had my photograph taken so many times in the rest of my life put together!' She reached round in a practiced motion to rest her hand on his cheek.

'That's because you look beautiful.' They kissed, a lingering moment of lips on lips that made Severus nauseous. Why wasn't the damn Felix working properly? This was not how he defined good luck, being forced to witness Lily cavorting with his enemy. 'Come on, Mrs Potter,' said James, with a smile.

Lily slipped her hand into his and turned away from the doorway. But just for a second, she glanced back over her shoulder, before she was gone from view. Her expression was… what? He couldn't tell. Regretful? Pitying?

Severus sank down, head in his hands. He felt bits of bush prickly against his back, the knobbly grass underneath him. The Felix was still dizzying him. He remembered how he'd felt, so confident, so invincible. He couldn't understand why it hadn't worked out how he wanted it to. The stupid potion had been his last hope, it had let him down! Everything and everyone let him down! Even a good luck potion wasn't enough to negate the ill effects of being Severus Snape.

He stayed behind the shrub for a long time, until voices roused him. Black and Pettigrew, lurking outside for a quick smoke. Their laughter and jokes grated against his ears. He tried to disapparate and failed, guessed they'd put an anti-apparition jinx on the area, and was forced to crawl away and climb over a wall before he could vanish.

The flat was cool and quiet, mockingly so. In the kitchen he kicked over the copper cauldron, sending spots of golden Felix Felicis all over the kitchen. His whole body was shaking, with sobs and with that odd giddy feeling. He swept the crockery off the worksurface nearest him, and half-heartedly threw his wand across the room. Then he slumped, still shivering, against the wall.

He cried for a while, but he had an odd, disembodied feeling as he did so. He felt as though his heart was skipping every other beat, as though his lungs were too small to hold enough air. His thoughts raced feverishly through his brain. Random images of Lily, memories of their friendship, desperate plots to win her back. He envisaged killing Potter as he appeared behind Lily in the church, so clearly that for a few minutes he thought that that was what had really happened.

Felix had been his last hope. A part of him had still hoped it might be strong enough to make Lily dump Potter. But now he realised that no amount of luck was going to change things between Lily and him. It had gone too far for that. She was not going to give up on Potter, and she was not going to forgive Severus. Seeing this clearly for the first time, without the rosy tinge of disbelief, was such a bleak prospect that he groaned out loud as though in pain.

It was killing him, this love for Lily, this hopeless obsession. Nothing worked. Trying to forget her didn't work, trying to win her over didn't work. He was a wreck, a gibbering wreck thanks to her. He had to do something… but what? What? He sprawled on the cold stone floor of the kitchen, gazing unfocussed at the fireplace, when it occurred to him. There was a way to stop loving someone, he knew it. He'd read about it.

Tears suddenly gone, he was reeling towards the bookshelf, steading himself on furniture. He leafed through _Moste Potente Potions_, then discarded it. He went on to try _The Potion Makers Companion_, and finally found what he was looking for, near the back. The paper of the page was pristine and crisp, lacking the thumbprints and handwritten notes of most of his books. He'd never made this potion before, never even read the recipe. But it didn't matter! He was a potions genius, there was no way he could fail.

The feeling of giddy confidence was returning to him, as he retrieved the cauldron and washed it out without his usual care. He'd found a solution to his problem. He'd gone about everything the wrong the way, treating the symptom and not the cause. What a fool. It had taken Felix to make him realise this. Perhaps the unsatisfactory encounter with Lily was all part of it, an unpleasant but necessary way of making him realise the right thing to do. He was lucky after all.

He brewed the potion quickly, being less than meticulous in his measurements, throwing in ingredients and stirring casually. There was no doubt at all in his mind about his ability to make the potion perfectly first time, or that making it was the right thing to do. He counted down the hours whilst it brewed, unable to stay still. He paced around the flat, picking things up and putting them down again, pushing his hair back and forth off his shoulders. If only he could go and do one of Lucius' drilling exercises now! It would be ideal for working off this energy. He gave a loud 'ha!' at the thought of Lucius' face if he had been party to that last thought.

The last ingredient he obtained from his room, from an envelope he kept under several layers of enchantments. A single, copper coloured hair, purloined from the back of her chair one DADA lesson near the end of his final term at Hogwarts. He carefully cut it in half, and then shrugged and threw the whole thing in. Because once he'd drunk this, he wouldn't care about her any more. He wouldn't want to keep her stupid hair. It would be over.

Finally, the Hate Potion was ready. He took a goblet – he had repaired the damage of his earlier rampage – and filled it with the cloudy potion. 'Goodbye, Lily,' he said dramatically, before draining the drink in one go.

He waited, wondering how fast it worked. Would he experience a gradual disillusionment, or a sudden realisation of dislike? Did it simply wipe away those thought patterns, or did it work with the brain to alter them bit by bit? He hoped the former.

Now at last the Felix must be wearing off. He felt less giddy. The walking-on-air sensation was gone. In fact he felt heavy, lethargic. He sank to the floor beside the fire. His vision was fogging, his hearing turning tinny. Little by little, he slumped down to lying, and the last thing he saw before blackness descended was the bottom of his copper cauldron, gleaming in the dying embers of the fire.

Author's notes

Ah, Felix Felicis, the deus ex machina of choice for fanfic writers. But I didn't want Severus to have it all his way. In canon, we're shown that Felix doesn't necessarily make things happen perfectly, it just makes the efforts of the drinker more successful. Unfortunately for Severus, even with luck on his side Lily wasn't going to change her mind about him or James. Of course, Severus here overdid it, the consequences of which we'll see in the next installment. Thanks as ever to all readers and particularly reviewers, hope you're enjoying it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 -Vienna

Consciousness crept over Severus gradually, with a slow realisation that he was lying in a bed, in a strange place. He was aware of a dull pain in his stomach, which felt as though it had been hollowed out. Hardly daring to do so, he thought of Lily, and at once his heart swelled. He felt the usual giddy spiral of confused emotion, followed by disappointment. It hadn't worked. With a surge of adrenaline, he opened his eyes.

He was in St Mungo's, in what appeared to be Joseph Fingles ward – potion and plant poisoning. Next to his bed, Lucius was sitting reading the newspaper. The sight was so familiar, right down to the way he sprawled in his chair with his legs stretched out, that Severus couldn't help but smile. But what was Malfoy doing there? Clearly something had gone badly wrong with his plan.

Some sixth sense must have alerted Lucius to the scrutiny, because he looked round suddenly. 'You're awake then,' he said, rather coldly, sitting up a little straighter and laying the paper down on his lap. 'How do you feel?'

'A bit woozy,' responded Severus, sitting up a bit. 'What the hell happened?'

'I was waiting for you to tell me.' Lucius' voice was still cold, and Severus could tell his friend was really angry.

'I don't know. I drank some of the potion and then…' his voice trailed away. 'I must have made a mistake. I must have made it wrong.'

Lucius was looking at him very hard. Eventually he said in a tight voice, 'I found you on the floor, nearly dead, next to a cauldron full of poison.' There was a definite note of accusation in his tone, and Severus suddenly realised that Lucius thought he'd done it deliberately.

'I didn't mean to top myself, if that's what you think,' he said quickly. 'I was making a potion I'd never made before, and I must have made a mistake. It was lucky that you came when you did. You saved my life.' _Lucky_. Perhaps it had been the Felix.

He could tell that Malfoy didn't believe him. 'You, make a mistake with a potion?' He made an incredulous sound. 'I find it hard to believe there can be a single potion that you haven't made at some point. What was this rarest of concoctions?'

'It doesn't matter. Listen, you know I can very easily and successfully make any number of deadly poisons that would finish me off instantly. If I'd intended to kill myself, Lucius, believe me, I would have succeeded.'

'Really. And yet you are always so successful at potion making, Severus. I would have thought you virtually infallible. How odd that you would make a mistake over something so crucial. And you still haven't told me what this potion is.' Lucius' voice was still tight with emotion, though whether it was pure rage or something more complicated Severus wasn't sure.

Severus didn't like the thought of Lucius imagining him suicidal, so he decided he'd better go for an approximation of the truth. So he took a deep breath and said, 'It was a Hate potion.'

'A what?' Lucius looked as though he was starting to wonder if his friend had gone mad.

'A Hate potion. Like a Love potion, but in reverse. If you drink one it makes all of a person's worst faults and failings apparent to you. There isn't much call for them, but I found the recipe in an old book. I was a little… distracted when I made it, I must have overdone the armadillo bile. In fact, do you think the cauldron's still there? It might have spoiled by now, but it would be fascinating to work out where I went wrong.'

'Never mind your researches,' snapped Lucius, his short patience apparently having worn thin. 'Why the blue blazes were you drinking a reverse Love potion in the first place?'

His lie now worked out, Severus made a great play of reluctance, glancing cautiously around the room, causing Lucius to follow suit. 'There's a woman I like. Wife of a colleague. Unobtainable. But I can't get her out of my head. It was driving me mad, so I thought the Hate potion would cure me. It's a tricky potion with some nasty ingredients in, I should have taken more care. Perhaps I just got over-confident.' _Blasted Felix._

Lucius seemed to be taking this in. 'Why didn't you tell me?' he asked eventually. 'I could have helped. Got this husband out of the way. Put her under Imperius. Or you could have slipped her a Love potion somehow – assuming you can manage to brew one of those correctly. Either way, we could have sorted it out without you needing to poison yourself.'

'I wasn't trying to poison myself,' he repeated. 'And it's not the point. I don't want to feel like I do about her. It's a distraction. It's a waste of my energy. Besides, we've all heard about how unrequited feelings can sap a wizard's power. I'm not giving up my power so I can feel sorry for myself over some jumped up witch who thinks she's better than me.'

'For goodness sake, Severus.' Lucius shook his head. 'I will never understand you if I live to be two hundred.' He folded up the _Prophet_ with sharp crackle of paper and rose to leave. 'I've got jobs to do. When they let you out, come to the Manor. Cissy and I are off to Vienna on Tuesday for the International Confederation of Warlocks annual do. You should come with us.'

'Come with you?' he echoed, astonished. 'Lew, I don't think Narcissa is going to like that.'

'Leave Narcissa to me, I need to keep an eye on you. You've been working too hard, and we both know how bizarrely you can behave when you're overworked. You could do with a holiday. I'm sure this place will let you have some time.' He hitched his cloak around his shoulders. 'And no more drinking mystery potions. Next time I find you gasping out your last breaths, I'm leaving you to it.'

Severus watched his friend stalk away along the ward, and then reached for his wand. He realised he must have been pretty close to death for Lucius to be so rattled. He remembered how he'd felt whilst making the potion, giddy and feverish. He shook his head at his own stupidity. Ruled by emotions. Maybe this would teach him a lesson. Thoughtfully, he summoned the medical notes from the end of his bed and began to read.

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'…supposed to be a nice holiday, just you and me – it's hard enough to get you to go anywhere these days…'

'Cissy, I've heard this a million times before,' interrupted Lucius, sounding weary. 'He's coming, and that's final.'

'If he wants to kill himself I don't know why you don't just let him get on with it. All this running around after him, that's exactly what he wants. It's just attention seeking. Dobby, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful with those!' There was a sharp shriek of pain from the elf, which caused Severus to wince. His eavesdropping spell magnified loud noises to a painful degree.

'Listen, we'll get lots of time alone. He doesn't have to go everywhere with us. I'm sure he'll want to go to all the boring lectures. There'll be plenty of time to do things-' there was an unpleasant squelching sound, which Severus recognised as kissing – 'we want to.'

Hastily ending the spell, Severus returned to sit in the parlour. His trunk, packed with his meagre clothes, was waiting by the fireplace. The Malfoys were taking an eternity to pack. It was beyond him what could possibly take so long. It had taken him less than five minutes to find and throw into his old school trunk some clean underwear, a toothbrush, and a couple of his favourite books.

He picked up the glossy brochure on the coffee table and read for the fiftieth time the embossed title, '_International Confederation of Warlocks Annual Conference, 1979'. _The pages inside described the seminars, the guest speakers, and the endless dinners and balls. From what Severus could see, his path would rarely cross the Malfoys'. He had no intention of attending any of the tedious social events that were their main reason for going, and he would be extremely surprised if they would want to sit through 'Innovations in Transfiguration,' or 'An In-Depth Exploration of the Arithmetic Properties of One-Hundred-and-Eleven.'

'Iron these properly, you worthless little beast!' came a scream from upstairs, accompanied by a wail and a thump. Dobby the house-elf had just landed face down at the bottom of the stairs. Narcissa had a mean hex on her when she was angry.

'Bad elf! Dobby is bad bad elf!' wept the creature, banging its head against the floor.

'You can punish yourself later, just get on with the ironing,' shouted Narcissa from upstairs. Clearly whatever canoodling Lucius had attempted had not improved her towering rage.

It was another two hours before they were ready to leave. Narcissa was dressed in a beautiful purple dress and a cloak trimmed with white fur. She would have looked stunning if her features hadn't been set into a sullen pout. They went by floo to the London central hub, a hot and bustling hall lined with fireplaces. A wizard carrying a small dragon was arguing with a witch behind a desk marked 'Customs', whilst a group of young people in scruffy robes bent over a map, talking in an incomprehensible language.

Severus looked around in wonder as they crossed from their point of arrival to a large archway labelled 'international connections'. This appeared to lead to a long corridor, painted in the same sterile white, brightly lit by unnatural magical light. A line of uniformed wizards blocked the entrance, and a desk stood at the left end. A long line of downtrodden witches and wizards, laden down with bags, were queued up at it. They had a weary, despairing look. Some were sitting on the floor, surrounded by children and possessions. He noticed some strange items amongst their luggage, kettles and portraits and in one case, a sideboard.

Lucius and Narcissa ignored the queue entirely. Queuing was something that happened to lesser mortals than the Malfoys. But Severus was intrigued. 'Where are they all going?' he wondered aloud to Lucius.

'Mudbloods and blood traitors, trying to get out while they can,' said Narcissa contemptuously, as they sailed past the line. 'But nowhere else wants them. France has closed its borders, so has Belgium. It's really very tiresome. Visiting anywhere in Europe is such a bother these days.'

They were now level with the helpdesk, where a weeping witch was pleading with the official. 'We have gold,' she was sobbing, 'we'll pay our way. My husband speaks a bit of French.'

'I'm sorry Madam, I'm under strict instructions. No more emigrants allowed past this point. Only those who can prove they are short term visitors only.'

'Please, please!' she begged.

He shook his head and his voice was heavy. 'Madam, even if I let you through, the French guards would turn you back. There's nothing I can do. If you must leave the country, I'm sure there are Muggle means of doing so.'

'We don't have papers a Muggle would understand! My children don't exist as far as Muggles are concerned. And if we get to France, we won't be able to work or live in the magic community! Our children couldn't go to a wizard school. We could even be arrested and deported for just using magic, if we got caught! We can't live as Muggles now, we don't know how to!' Her voice was rising higher and louder with hysteria.

'Then you must stay, Madam. Please move along now.'

'What do you suggest we do?' she demanded. 'I've got three children. The Death Eaters could come for them any day!'

The wizard closed his eyes for a moment. 'I suggest you go home and put up protective wards, now move along, please.'

A man rushed past them, throwing himself headlong at the entrance. He was thrown back by an invisible force field, landing heavily. A sort of collective groan went up from the waiting people. A guard appeared and dragged the man away, pushing him towards the exit.

Lucius spoke to a guard. 'Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, and our friend Severus Snape, attending the Conference in Vienna.' He flipped out his apparition licence carelessly for inspection.

'Oh, Mr Malfoy, of course, go right on through.' The guard made a movement with his wand and waved them onwards. Severus was a little hesitant about stepping through, but they met with no resistance. After the hurly burly of the hall the corridor was very quiet and calm.

'Someone ought to get rid of them,' Narcissa was saying. 'It's embarrassing, all those dirty stupid people grovelling around. That's the first impression people are getting of our country. No wonder no one wants to visit here anymore.'

On arrival in Paris, they were ushered into a small room by a polite but firm official. Severus gathered, from the huffing Narcissa was doing, that this wasn't usual protocol. They were kept for some time whilst the officials carefully went through their papers. Lucius spoke courteously to the guards in French. He must have answered their questions to their satisfaction, because eventually they were allowed to go on, via Munich, to Vienna.

Severus had never left the UK, so had to try very hard not to gawp foolishly as they arrived in Vienna. With its wide streets and grand buildings with verdigrised copper domes, it was at once alike and different from London. Like London, there was a whole wizard area of the city, hidden from Muggle eyes and technologies by magic.

Seeing it made him realise just how badly wizard London had deteriorated since he'd first visited there as an excited eleven year old. Just like Diagon had once had, there were brightly decorated shops, cobbled streets, and witches and wizards everywhere, talking and laughing. He felt a pang of sorrow for the drab, fear filled place their country had become.

The sight of so many shops seemed to cheer Narcissa up, and as soon as they'd checked into the hotel and unpacked, she joined up with some other witches she knew and headed out for a full exploration, carrying a moneybag containing more than Severus earned in a month. Lucius insisted on taking Severus to the bar, to meet some of his contacts.

Severus watched his friend moving round the room, full of casual confidence. Whilst he knew that the sort of contact base Lucius had took work, no matter who you were, he couldn't help feeling resentment towards the social ease Malfoy had. There was no way you could learn that, it was just a gift possessed by a lucky few. Severus had the reverse ability, a talent for making any conversation as awkward and embarrassing as possible. Sometimes he felt like Lucius was a different species altogether.

For the next three days they fell into a pattern, eating breakfast together in the morning, then going their separate ways. Severus remained unsure of what Narcissa did all day, whilst Lucius 'networked', a vague term that seemed to involve talking to as many people as possible whilst participating in leisure activities. Severus meanwhile sat through lectures, making copious notes, full of wonder and excitement as a whole world of innovation that he'd known nothing about was opened before his eyes. He heard of research into a potion to cure lycanthropy, work to subvert the elemental laws of transfiguration, and even a talk from a crank who was trying to invent a ball-shaped wand.

They met again in the evening for drinks in the bar, though they were seldom alone. Everyone seemed to know Lucius, and Severus found himself introduced to umpteen witches and wizards, with whom he had to make awkward small talk until one of the Malfoys released him. On several occasions he heard Lucius saying, 'Not the sociable type I'm afraid, rather the academic. Quite brilliant, of course.' After drinks, the Malfoys would depart in a cloud of expensive perfume for the evening's busy programme of social events, leaving Severus free to roam the city.

Dressed in non-descript clothes, he explored Vienna, both magic and Muggle. He visited the cathedral, with its roof of patterned tiles, and the grand Hapsburg palaces. He soaked up the wonder of being in a foreign city for the first time – hearing the conversations in German around him, the unfamiliar street signs, the new smells, the atmosphere that was free of the oppression of London.

Perhaps Lucius was right – he had needed a holiday. He certainly felt very sorry on the final day, knowing they'd have to return the following morning. But before that they had to get through the main event of the Conference – the Grand Ball. As far as Narcissa was concerned, this was the reason they'd come, with everything else a mere diversion. She had talked about little else since they'd got there, and had spent many hours – and no doubt a small fortune – on choosing a suitable dress for the occasion.

That morning at breakfast Narcisssa sounded as though she was planning a military campaign. Severus listened in bemused wonder to the list of appointments and preparations that would go into ensuring she looked her best. Seeing the look on his face, Lucius laughed. 'It's important to make a good impression, you know. What happened with the Pillar has done a lot of damage internationally, and put back our plans by at least a year.'

'But surely Narcissa having a naff hairdo isn't going to make that much difference to what European bigwigs think of us?' asked Severus rather acerbically.

'Oh Severus, you wouldn't understand. It's all about appearances, the subtle art of politics. Anyway, come to our room this afternoon at three pm. There's a matter I need to discuss with you.'

Surprised by this invitation, Severus duly turned up at the appointed hour. Lucius opened the door to the Malfoys' suite, and showed him into the sitting room. Narcissa was standing at the window, her back to them. Her hair was piled up on her head in a gravity defying style.

'So, you've enjoyed the conference?' asked Lucius, whilst he poured them drinks. They had access to a hotel elf, but some bizarre quirk in Lucius' personal code deemed that the preparation of alcoholic drinks was a job permitted for wizards, at least when staying abroad.

'It's been great,' enthused Severus at once. 'The Japanese have some incredible ideas about potion making, this morning a chap from their university gave a talk on the Invisibility Potion they're working on – of course, it's thought to be impossible but they have had the idea that if you use a base of…' he trailed away as he realised Lucius didn't want to hear the whole story.

'I'm glad you've enjoyed it. No more thoughts about other wizards' wives, eh? Put all that out of your mind, I hope.'

'Oh yes,' agreed Severus, wishing Lucius hadn't reminded him. He was dreading returning to Britain, and finding that nothing had changed. You could run away from your problems, but they'd still be there when you got back. 'I don't know what came over me, really.'

'Well, I think I've done a good bit of diplomacy, I expect that He will be pleased. Rebuilt a few bridges. Not bad for a few days' work.' He raised his glass. 'To the Dark Lord.'

'To the Dark Lord,' echoed Severus, wishing Lucius hadn't reminded him of that either.

'I have one more task remaining, perhaps my most important yet. A particularly delicate mission, and one which must be carried out in the greatest secrecy. Which is why I plan on doing it tonight.' Lucius sipped his drink, but his eyes remained on Severus.

'But it's the Ball tonight,' pointed out Severus, shooting a quick glance at Narcissa. He had a feeling that she would consider missing the Ball grounds for divorce.

'Precisely. What better alibi could there be than half the great and good of Europe having watched me dancing the night away?' He smiled again, and went to the mantelpiece, where he removed a blue glass bottle. 'Polyjuice.'

Realisation dawned. 'You want me to carry out this mission, pretending to be you.'

Lucius gave a yelp of laughter. 'Certainly not! This is a delicate matter requiring the utmost diplomacy. No, _I_ will carry out the mission, whilst _you_ attend the Ball, pretending to be me.'

'What!' Severus stared at his friend in alarm. Even conducting a delicate diplomatic assignment seemed an easier prospect than passing himself off as Lucius at a ball. 'That's impossible. Have you _seen_ me at a party?'

Now Narcissa spoke, 'Exactly what I said.'

Lucius waved away their concerns. 'Come on, old man, you've been trying to be like me for the last nine years. Here's your chance to do the thing properly.'

Cheeks reddening at this reference to his attempts to ape the older man, Severus turned away with a scowl. 'I can't do it. It won't work. People will never be fooled.'

'So you're willing to go back and tell the Dark Lord that?' said Lucius, voice suddenly hard. 'We don't have a choice about this. So you'd better find a way to make it work.'

Severus insisted on Narcissa leaving the room before taking the polyjuice. He felt her seeing him transform would be tantamount to watching him dress. Finishing off the potion and adding a single long blond hair was easy. It tasted absolutely terrible, and the transformation was agonising. When it was over, he ran his hands over himself wonderingly. He was quite familiar with Lucius' body, but it was bizarre to suddenly be in it. Catching sight of himself in the mirror, he gasped, shocked to see Lucius' cold grey eyes staring back at him.

Even Lucius seemed a little disturbed by this clone of himself, examining it critically. He spent a long time reviewing it from behind – Severus suspected he was assessing the appearance of his hair. Fed up of this, he rebottled up the rest of the potion, which should be just enough to last the evening. He put Lucius' watch on, and made careful note of the time. 'Just don't forget to take it, whatever you do,' Malfoy cautioned him.

'Do you think I'm stupid?' he snapped back, stripping down to his underwear and putting on the dress robes that Lucius had laid out ready. His friend fussed around him, fastening his hair just so, tweaking the robes so that they lay correctly across his chest. Their wands were similar enough in appearance to keep their own, but Severus would keep it out of sight just in case. Narcissa was called back in, and she did a double take at the sight of them.

Severus stepped forward, concentrating on his posture, the way he held his head. 'Well, Cissy, do you think he'll pass?' he asked, in his very best imitation of Lucius' clipped tones. It was easier to do with Lucius' own body, his own vocal chords.

Narcissa looked Lucius up and down. 'He looks all right, but the moment he opens his mouth he'll give the game away,' she said eventually, causing both Luciuses to collapse in gales of laughter. She did not see the funny side, and her face became even tenser. Severus could tell she was furious.

They spent the rest of the time practising dancing. Severus was not very good, although the muscle memory of Lucius' body helped. He found he did better when he didn't think too much about it, allowing his body to do the work. Narcissa pinched and prodded him painfully, a certain satisfaction in her face. She was going to make sure he suffered throughout the evening. Lucius gave him some last instructions, and then Severus took Narcissa's hand and stepped out into the world as Lucius Malfoy.

He had to hand it to Narcissa, she was a consummate professional when it came to presenting a face to the world. Her smile was in place the moment they left the room, and her fingers twined around his. They made their way to the ballroom, and accepted delicate flutes of champagne. A beefy wizard in spangled dress robes immediately waylaid them and began to talk earnestly about pumpkin futures, but Narcissa stopped him with a hand on the arm and a tinkly laugh. 'Now, now, Ebenezer, Lucius has promised me that he won't start talking business tonight. We're going to dance and have a nice time and not let silly old business get in the way.'

Severus gave a patronising smile and a look which he hoped conveyed weary agreement to this fancy of his wife's. Ebenezer laughed heartily and said, 'Of course, my dear. Better do what your lovely wife says now, Lucius!'

On the dance floor, they fell into a waltz, Narcissa steering. Her perfect smile never faltered. Occasionally she would lean in, apparently to kiss him, in order to whisper fierce instructions. '_Left_ heel,' or 'Wizard in a green hat coming up, smile nicely. He's Minister for Magic in Yugoslavia.' It was exhausting, having to focus on every little movement to keep them Lucius-like, whilst simultaneously appearing relaxed and languorous. He was glad to escape to the toilets to every hour to take his polyjuice.

He felt like the evening would never end. Narcissa dragged him round for dance after dance, all of which involved whirling round and exchanging the odd pleasantry with other couples as they spun. At one point Narcissa grabbed him and covered his mouth with her own. He was so stunned that he took a moment before he remembered to act as though this was s normal occurrence. She pulled back eventually, whispering, 'Couldn't let you talk to him, you'd have given yourself away.'

It was with enormous relief that he finally followed Narcissa out, saying some gracious goodbyes, and back to the quiet and peace of the suite. Narcissa slumped onto an armchair, and he took the sofa opposite, closing his eyes. The room still whirled around him. Eventually he said, 'Do you think we fooled them?'

She gave this careful thought. 'I think so. Let's just hope Lew's done what he needs to do.' She got up and went to the window, staring out at the moon. 'I hope he's back soon. I can't stand waiting.'

'Do you want me to leave?' he asked, still very aware of Lucius' body around him.

'Stay,' she said, surprising him. 'It might look suspicious otherwise.'

He sighed and closed his eyes again, hoping Lucius hurried up. He didn't have the energy to make small talk with Narcissa. Longing thoughts of the privacy and comfort of his bed kept running through his mind. The ache in his head was growing worse, and suddenly he was overtaken by the painful bubbling sensation of transformation. Pain pushed him to his feet with a gasp, and he gritted his teeth with torment as his skin and bones melded themselves back to their original form.

Finally, it was over and he sat down heavily, his body tingly and aching, the dress robes now hanging loose. Sensing someone next to him, he looked up to see Narcissa, holding out a glass of water awkwardly. 'It looked painful,' she said.

'Thanks.' He sipped the water, wondering if this was Narcissa's idea of a remedy. Or perhaps a peace gesture.

'I was so looking forward to tonight,' she said wistfully, wandering back to the window.

'I'm sorry,' he said, rather tetchily.

'You did your best. You weren't any happier about it than I was. I might have known Lucius had an ulterior motive for bringing you.' She sighed again and traced the outline of the moon on the window pane with her finger. Suddenly she said, 'Everything gets taken over by some mission or other, these days. All the time he's a… you-know-what, he'll have to put that first, and he's never going to be able to stop being a you-know-what.'

There wasn't really an answer to that, so he didn't give one. After a while Narcissa said, 'Why did you do it?'

'Do what?'

She made an impatient noise as though he was being deliberately obtuse. 'Try to kill yourself, of course.'

'I didn't try to kill myself. For the fiftieth time, it was an accident.'

'Yeah.' She laughed mirthlessly, then turned to look at him. 'Was it because of Him? Because of being a you-know-what?'

He stared at her. 'Why would it be to do with that?'

'I don't know!' she snapped. 'Why else would it be? You tell me.'

'I just told you, I didn't try to kill myself. I was experimenting with a potion, I got overconfident, and accidentally poisoned myself. It had nothing to do with being a Death Eater.' Sometimes he wondered if Narcissa and he actually lived on the same planet.

'Fine!' she responded huffily, turning back to the window. 'I just hope next time you want to 'experiment' you consider first what it was like for Lucius, finding you like that. You know he's the only other person who can get into that flat. I'm sure you were only thinking about the dramatic effect you'd have – oh sorry, I mean, your 'experiment'. But if you've got any ability to empathise at all – which I doubt – then just imagine how it feels to find your best friend that close to death, and then torturing yourself wondering what drove him to do it.'

'I didn't try to kill myself!' snarled Severus.

'Fine, have it your way. Just remember what I said, Snape. I don't like seeing Lucius hurt, and if you do that to him again – whether on purpose or not – I'll find a way to make you suffer. Believe me, I can and I will.'

He stared at her hard blue eyes and knew she meant it. 'I believe you entirely,' he replied honestly.

They remained in an uncomfortable silence until the door opened, and Narcissa jumped up to greet her husband. 'I'm fine, I'm fine,' said Lucius, patting her vaguely and looking past her to Severus. 'What's the matter? Did something go wrong?'

'No, it was fine. I don't think anyone knew. What about you?'

'Very successful,' said Lucius smugly. 'He will be pleased – with us both, of course,' he added, although Severus doubted that ensuring he got equal credit would be top of Lucius' priority list.

'I should be getting back to my room,' said Severus, rising quickly. 'I'll have to hope no one sees me.'

'I wouldn't worry about that. You can always say you were packing our trunks for us. They'll be too busy wondering if there's some sort of romantic entanglement involved to guess the truth.' Lucius grinned at the noises of horror from both Severus and Narcissa. 'See you at breakfast, old bean.'

The next day was taken up with travelling back. As they made their way out of the floo hub in London, past the line of refugees, Severus saw a flash of red hair and did a double take. His mind was instantly filled with images of Lily, even though he realised immediately the woman was nothing like her. His heart sank. Nothing had changed.

Author's notes

I always work on the assumption that a lot of wizards left Britain, as people anywhere in the world flee conflict, often enduring miserable conditions to do so. I think an exodus is the only way to explain the numbers at Hogwarts in canon against the apparent size of the wider wizarding population and the institutions set up around it. The story is now entering a phase where the timescale is problematical, but I will explain my logic for the timings in the author's notes as I go.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - Spies

It was a wet January night and the gravel of Lucius' drive crunched under their feet as they plodded towards the broomshed. Severus had cast a decent rain-repelling spell over them both, and the Death Eater hoods sheltered them. Lucius was in an excellent mood, positively bouncing despite the weather. Severus was pretty sure it wasn't to do with the task in hand.

'Got some good news, old bean,' announced Malfoy gleefully. 'Narcissa's pregnant.'

'Oh, right,' said Severus, unsure of the correct social response to such an announcement. It wasn't a situation he'd ever been in before.

'Oh right?' echoed Lucius. 'Aren't you going to offer me congratulations?'

'Oh, yes, OK. Congratulations.'

'Honestly, Severus, you have no social graces whatsoever!' Lucius chuckled, unlocking the broomshed with a flick of his wand.

'Well, I mean… what are you going to do with a baby?' asked Severus.

Lucius paused midway through handing him a broom. 'What do you mean, _do_? One doesn't _do _anything with a baby. One just… has one.' He was staring at Severus as though he was mad.

'You mean like your peacocks?' said Severus, cottoning on. Lucius kept a number of horrible albino peacocks around the estate, which as far as Severus could tell served no useful purpose whatsoever. They simply existed for the sake of existing.

'What? No, not at all like my peacocks!' snapped Lucius. 'Talk about putting a damper on my news. Now hurry up, we'd better not be late.'

They were the last to arrive, the rest of the cell already gathered and trying to shelter under a tree with spreading branches. 'It's filthy weather. Do we have to do it tonight?' demanded someone belligerently.

'Yes, we do,' replied Lucius curtly. 'Unless you want to go and tell Him that you were put off by a bit of rain.'

'It's not just a bit of rain,' came the pedantic tones of Cuthbert Youdle. 'It's high winds too. Not a good idea with such a complex task as this one…'

'It has to be tonight,' Lucius insisted, pushing the broom under a bush and opening his bag of tools. 'Lots of Muggles will be crossing it tomorrow, some sort of event. So we'd better get on with it.' He threw a thaumic pinner to Youdle. 'The sooner we start, the sooner we can all go home to our nice warm beds.'

Grumbling amongst themselves, the cell set out into the night to their appointed places. Severus was working with Monty Blackwell, Lucius' old school friend. They disillusioned each other before heading out onto the bridge. They'd only gone a few steps before the noise of the howling wind picked up. He tried not to look down. The river was a very long way below them. Privately he agreed with Youdle, but there was no point in arguing when you were a Death Eater. Complaining yes, to some extent, as long as it was done carefully and quietly. But never actually refusing.

'Do you want to go or shall I?' he asked Blackwell.

'Whatever you like, old boy. Let's just get it done fast like Lew said, and get out of here. You're quicker than me, how about you go.'

'Very well.' Severus stood still whilst Blackwell tied rope securely around his waist, then began the litany of spells that would do the real work of keeping him safely attached to the bridge. Severus listened closely, ready to pick up any error in the casting that could prove his downfall. He lit his wand and closed his eyes, before climbing onto the railings at the side of the bridge and carefully lowering himself over the side.

The wind immediately whipped at him, blowing him under the structure. He swore and struggled, spinning nauseatingly on the rope until he managed to catch the underside of the bridge and apply a gripping charm. '_OK, I'm in place,'_ he informed Blackwell via his Mark. He worked quickly and silently, drawing patterns on the concrete with his wand, applying the charms they'd already worked up.

Some of the Death Eaters sneered at the work of D-Squad. Bellatrix never lost an opportunity to poke fun at Lucius' specialism, which she saw as a soft option. But the skill required to bring down such a large and precariously placed structure was far greater than many realised. The need for exact placement of the charms, the careful calculations required to get the timing right so it fell at just the right moment, the logistical challenge of working at height, in the dark…

The wind was strengthening, and Lucius' voice sounded over his Mark. '_Let's wrap things up as soon as we can. Looks like it's getting worse.'_

'_There's another hour's work to go at least,_' came Youdle's reply. '_We can't afford it only half falling.'_

There was a pause, then, '_OK, seconds, rope up and go down too.'_

This order caused a ripple of horror and dissent from the members along the length of the bridge. '_It's too risky!'_

'_It will be fine. Twice the men, we'll be done in half the time.'_

Five minutes later, Blackwell appeared next to Severus. He looked nervous and kept glancing at his rope as though it might snap. 'Where have you got to?' he yelled, his words whipped away by the wind.

Severus indicated with his wand, causing the marks he'd made on the concrete to glow faintly. 'Start from the other side,' he suggested, and Blackwell began to make his tentative way along the underside of the bridge.

Torrents of rain began to sweep over them with every gust of wind. Water seeped in through Severus' robes, despite the charms, and blew into his eyes. His hands were numbed with cold. He hissed the words of the incantation through chattering teeth. Grimly, he drove himself onwards, forcing himself to focus on each word of the charm at a time, not allowing himself to look further ahead.

When he and Blackwell met in the middle, he felt a surge of relief. He ran a few charges across the network of carefully placed charms, testing the connectivity. All was well. Provided it had been linked correctly to the rest, at the appointed time the whole thing would simply crumble away, sending every Muggle on it into the chasm below. 'Let's get out of here!' he yelled.

Blackwell didn't need any second bidding and was already inching back along his rope. Severus made his way back to the edge of the bridge, and clung on. The parapet was ten feet above his head, the concrete sides glistening. He tugged his rope and waited impatiently. Malfoy must be pulling Blackwell up first.

Another blast of icy rain smashed into him from the left, going straight down his ear. He shook his head to free it of the pain, and lost his grip on the side. The rope swung outwards, dragging him along the concrete, half-dazing him. Suddenly, the wind was full of stinging particles, and he realised it had started to hail. Splinters of ice drove in through the eye holes of his hood as he tried to reach up and regain his grip on the side. Damn Malfoy, why couldn't he hurry up!

Coughing as the rain seemed to be finding its way even into his lungs, he almost got his hand up, but misjudged the distance. His knuckles caught the edge of the bridge and his fingers opened. His wand fell away, down into the abyss. He yelled instinctively, feeling as though a part of himself had dropped off.

But as the wand tumbled, another problem became apparent. The spells holding him, having taken a serious pounding over the past hour, began to fail. He suddenly plummeted another ten feet, brought up short by the rope itself. Now he yelled with bowel twisting terror, as he was blown violently from side to side. He grasped the rope with both hands, even as he began to feel the knot at his waist slip. With no magic to hold it steady, it wouldn't withstand this sort of insult for long.

'Severus!' he heard Malfoy's scream from the top of the bridge, sounding almost deranged. 'Severus! NO!'

He dangled desperately, clinging to the rope, his eyes shut, his breath coming in gasps. He could feel gravity pulling him, like creatures dragging on his legs. Tears streamed down his cheeks, mixed with icy rain. Only physical strength would save him now, and physical strength was one thing Severus had always lacked. He clung on for his very life, unable to believe that he was going to die here, like this.

It felt like he hung there for eternity, his thoughts spiralling in odd directions. The thought occurred to him that maybe Lucius would name his child Severus, in memory of his dead friend. At least it would be a way to continue pissing Narcissa off long after he'd died. He sobbed at the thought. But mainly, he thought of Lily. The thoughts of her that were always there, in a small corner of his mind, expanded to fill his whole consciousness. He wondered where she was now. Sitting at home perhaps, on the sofa next to Potter. Would she feel anything, any sign that would tell her that her old friend was in mortal peril?

Maybe a shiver would pass over her momentarily. But she would shrug it away, dismiss it. It suddenly seemed incredible to him, that once they had been so close. How had it all come to this? Her at home, happily married to another man; him dangling from a bridge in a storm, moments from a watery grave? Would she ever hear the news of his death? Would she be sorry if she did? Or maybe she would wonder idly in ten years' time what had become of her old school friend, and then forget it straight away.

The knot slipped again. His muscles were ropes of agony, his lungs burned, his hands were slipping. He clung on desperately but his reserves of strength, augmented by desperation, were failing. He was too scared now to cry, to be sick, to do anything but focus on how much he wanted to survive. The wind caught him, and he felt the rope slip away, and suddenly there was nothing to hold him anymore. For a second, he thought he was suspended, then he realised he was falling.

He hit something almost at once, and for a few seconds the shock of the impact and the terror leading up to it left him senseless. He thought he was dead – he'd hit the water and now he was… what? Heading for the afterlife? It felt surprisingly chilly for hell. Then he realised fingers were gripping him, bodies were pushed up against him. He was rushing upwards through the air, borne by two figures on broomsticks. The top of the bridge was coming into view. Death Eaters stood along the parapet, staring over the side, several of them holding their own wands out.

Seconds later, the figures drew level, and then he was amongst them, landing on the bridge with a thump. Now he was shaking, heat flooding over him from the adrenaline. His arms decided now was a good time to put in an official protest about their overuse. He retched, spitting water over the side of the bridge, closing his eyes to avoid looking at the drop. He needed the toilet badly.

Lucius was just sending off the others, counting and ordering them furiously away. He felt his friend's hand on his shoulder. 'Come on, Sev, come on. Let's get out of here. I'll apparate us back.'

Back in the flat the quiet seemed almost noisy after the ceaseless row of wind. He tore off his sodden hood and fetched towels from the bathroom. Lucius was on the floor, still clutching the broom and swearing repeatedly in between choking breaths. Severus threw a towel at him and rubbed vigorously at his face. He removed his robes and wrapped the towel around his waist to disguise his frayed underwear.

Then he made his way through to the kitchen. He went to flick his wand at the kettle and realised he didn't have it any more. 'I've lost my wand,' he said out loud, looking at his empty wand hand and feeling stirrings of distress through the shock.

'We'll buy you a new one,' said Lucius in a very subdued voice, sitting up and removing his own hood. His friend was deathly pale and staring at Severus wide-eyed.

Looking at Malfoy, Severus sighed and took the man's wand. Anyone would think it was Lucius who had nearly fallen to his death. He pulled himself together and set about making tea. He missed his wand like he would a limb. Lucius' did not feel right, although he could make it do what he wanted, just about. He tried to imagine where his would be by now, washed away in the river, maybe even heading out to sea. It was like thinking of the corpse of a friend.

He added a dash of Pepper-Up potion to each mug of tea. Lucius was still shaking so much he could hardly take the cup. 'I'll have to tell people I snapped my old one. I'll say I was drunk,' said Severus, conversationally. He didn't think he'd ever known Lucius silent for such a long period of time. His friend merely nodded. 'Thanks for rescuing me,' he added, awkwardly. Again, Malfoy moved his head slightly, but gave no real sign of having understood Severus' words. 'Lucius, come on. We're alive. The bridge is done. It's all fine.'

Lucius, turned to look at him slowly. 'Is it?'

'Apart from my wand of course.' Severus felt a fresh pang of sorrow at its loss.

'I thought at first you'd fallen – all the way, I mean. You were disillusioned, remember. I just thought, _he's dead_.'

'Drink your tea and forget about it. It's over,' said Severus, bracingly. He was starting to feel slightly irritated with Malfoy.

'It'll never be over,' said Lucius darkly, but he did pick up his mug and take a sip. He coughed slightly, and steam rushed from his ears.

'Pepper-up,' explained Severus, refusing to look Lucius in the eye. 'I wonder what time Ollivander's opens up?'

'Nine, maybe?' said Lucius, making a visible effort to pull himself together. 'Do you want me to come with you?'

'I think I can manage on my own,' said Severus drily. 'You'd better get home to Narcissa.'

'I can't leave you here without a wand!' Lucius sounded scandalised. 'Even Cissy will understand that. You've got to come back with me.'

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but suddenly felt overwhelmingly tired. 'Well, if you insist. But we'll go by floo. I'm not sure you're up to apparating both of us anywhere else tonight.'

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Severus' new wand took some getting used to, but he soon came to like as much if not more than his old one. He suspected the original had been from Ollivander's budget range rather than the absolute best match for him. He still felt a slight pang of sadness for it, but told himself sternly such sentimentality was ridiculous.

As for his other emotional weakness, he remained as hopelessly in love with Lily Evans as ever. He couldn't bring himself to call her by his enemy's name, even in his head. Even though he hadn't seen or heard anything of her since the wedding, his nerves still jangled whenever he walked the streets around Diagon, in case he came across her.

The Death Eaters meanwhile were increasingly interested in Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix. The supposedly secret society continued to be a thorn in the side of the Death Eaters. Whilst individually its members were not too much of a threat, collectively with the power of Dumbledore behind them they managed to be surprisingly disruptive. Voldemort hated Dumbledore with a frightening intensity, but remained wary of confronting the man directly. Even Voldemort admitted Dumbledore was a very great wizard, and not someone to take on lightly.

Knowing what Dumbledore was up to was one of the Death Eaters' prime aims, but he was an extremely hard man to spy on. The protections around Hogwarts were formidable, and Dumbledore's staff and associates loyal to the very death. The man himself was far too astute to allow any potential spies to get close to him, at least when he was doing anything of interest. On one occasion one of Rookwood's best agents succeeded in following him on a visit, only to have to sit through a three hour session of reminiscence between Dumbledore and some decrepit contemporary. The man swore that at the end Dumbledore looked directly at his hiding place and smiled slyly.

Recruiting an Order member to turn double agent was one of Voldemort's key strategic aims. After much debate, Sirius Black was chosen as a good candidate. He was known to be impulsive and reckless, and had close relatives within the Death Eaters. His younger brother had already shown interest in joining when he left school later that year. Bellatrix, who had always been horrified at having a relative within Dumbledore's camp, was particularly keen to suggest he could be turned. 'It is just a teenage rebellion, my Lord. He is a Black by blood, and blood will always out. Now he is older, he can be persuaded back to the right side, my Lord, I know it.'

Controversially, the task of wooing Black over was entrusted to Lucius. Spying was traditionally the preserve of Augustus Rookwood, a long standing Death Eater who held a senior Ministry job. A well connected old family scion, his network extended throughout the Ministry and beyond. Most of his spies passed on information completely unwittingly, which had the additional benefit of making it much harder to catch them. Even Lucius conceded the man was a genius. Rookwood had his own small cell consisting of other key Ministry intelligence gatherers and Imperius curse specialists, and Rookwood made it clear that he did not appreciate Lucius' expansion into 'his' areas.

But the conversion of Black was a different matter, he was reassured. It was a case of persuasion, of influence. Rookwood couldn't do it, for fear of giving the game away. Lucius however was ideally placed. Charming, plausible, related to Black by marriage, of a similar age. And everyone knew that Lucius had remarkable powers of persuasion.

Severus feared that he might also be expected to participate in this endeavour, something he couldn't imagine going well for anyone. But fortunately the Dark Lord had other plans for him. Voldemort summoned him one night, and when Severus arrived, the Dark Lord was alone. 'So Severus,' Voldemort spoke softly, his voice hissing slightly on the esses. 'You haven't found a woman yet?'

Heart drumming so hard he felt sure his whole body was shaking with it, Severus shook his head. 'No my Lord,' he whispered, unable to meet Voldemort's eye. Severus knew he was good at occlumency, but he also knew the Dark Lord was a very powerful legilimens indeed.

'Not the romantic type?' There was a mocking edge to Voldemort's voice. 'Or perhaps you think I wouldn't approve of your choice?' He smiled nastily, letting the silence stretch and stretch. Severus fought the urge to break it, and finally Voldemort spoke again. 'You intrigue me, Severus. You have clearly won over Lucius, and I don't think he impresses easily. Especially not when the person in question is a nobody with an abundance of Muggle blood.'

There was another silence, while Severus tried to control himself. Voldemort continued, 'I have watched you very closely since you joined my inner circle. Of course, I knew already of your skill at healing, at innovation. But you have other talents too, I believe. I remember the day you joined me. I remember you trying to break the enchantment on the building. I thought then, here is someone who tests the boundaries. Here is someone to watch out for. Are you a man to watch, Severus?'

He didn't know how to answer, so went for honesty. 'I like to think so, my Lord. In your service, I may achieve great things.'

'Indeed. Indeed. Tell me, Severus, what other unusual skills do you possess, beyond your innovation and your healing powers?'

For a second, he met Voldemort's eyes. He found it hard to breathe. He finally said, 'I have an interest in occlumency.'

Now Voldemort's smile widened. 'And why would you be interested in such an obscure branch of magic?'

'Dumbledore once used legilimency on me, and I swore I wouldn't ever let him see my thoughts again. So I learned to block it. I do not pretend it could stand up to you, my Lord, but I believe I am sufficiently accomplished to block the efforts of most legilimens.' He held his breath, waiting for the verdict.

'Good,' said Voldemort, and Severus nearly sagged with relief. 'This is a very useful talent, Severus. Very useful indeed. It would be a great shame to allow it to go to waste. Now, you are aware of course of our efforts to infiltrate Dumbledore's camp. For some time now, it has become clear to me that we need to do more. To go further. It is one thing to turn someone within their organisation to pass information. But to really get the sort of intelligence we need, I need one of our own. Someone I can trust completely. I need a member of my inner circle there.'

'You mean me?' gasped Severus, foolishly meeting those eyes again, before quickly dropping his back to the floor.

'You are a good choice, I believe. You can block legilimency. You are young, half-blooded, and of course have your reputation as a Healer. Perhaps you now feel that you would like to have a go at teaching. The Dark Arts position at Hogwarts becomes vacant every year, thanks to a curse I placed on it some years ago. Of course, if you were successful, the curse could be lifted. I would then have a loyal lieutenant, within Hogwarts. You may not be privy to the Order itself, but you will be able to glean valuable intelligence on Dumbledore and his activities. What do you say?'

Severus bowed very low. 'It would be a great honour, my Lord,' he murmured.

'Good. I believe Dumbledore is already looking for candidates. He is considering the introduction of some new subjects to enliven his dull curriculum. I suggest that initially you offer yourself as a tutor of Healing, and if that does not take his interest, try for the Dark Arts post. You may remain at St Mungo's in the meantime. Have you any questions?'

'No, my Lord.'

'Then you are dismissed.' Voldemort waved a hand and turned away, as Severus almost tripped over his robes in his haste to back out of the room.

He returned to the flat and sat at the kitchen table, turning over his wand in his hands, mind racing. The opportunity to spy on Dumbledore, to hoodwink the supercilious old fool, was too good to be true. The thought of becoming a Hogwarts Professor, at last getting the respect he deserved. And all the while working to bring down Dumbledore, and Black and Potter by association. Here at last was his chance to get the revenge he was owed following the werewolf incident! If he could get this right, soon he would no longer need to worry about Severus Snape being overlooked in the magical world.

His first move was to visit his old school. Hogwarts was much as he remembered it, although the security was now even tighter. After passing the checks on the gates, he was escorted through the grounds by Filch the caretaker and two security trolls. Filch was just as cantankerous as he remembered, and grumbled the whole way about the extra work created by the security measures. At the doors of the castle, he went through another series of checks before being admitted. Filch led him to the fifth floor.

'Wait, this isn't the way to Dumbledore!' Severus exclaimed, as they turned right at the top of the stairs.

'That'll be 'cos you're not going to see Dumbledore,' sneered Filch, stopping at the door to McGonagall's office and knocking. He stuck his head inside and announced, 'Severus Snape to see you, Professor.'

'Thank you, Argus, do show him in,' said McGonagall.

Severus entered the room, feeling snubbed and hollow with anger. He was torn between making his disappointment clear, or playing along for the sake of appearances. McGonagall was seated at her desk, but rose when he entered and came to shake his hand. 'Do take a seat, Severus. I hope your journey was smooth?'

'I apparated,' he said, shortly, sitting to face her across the desk.

'So, I hear you are working at St Mungo's now?' she enquired.

'I qualified as a Healer in the summer. Specialising in Potions damage and non-accidental injuries.'

She raised an eyebrow at the last. 'Dark magic, you mean?'

'Reversing its effects, yes. Sadly there is a great call for such expertise at the present time. Hence my training has, of necessity, involved a greater proportion of such cases. There is not so much difference as people suppose between poisoning and the effects of curses. In a physiological sense they generally behave in a similar way.' He stopped, wondering if he had said too much.

'But you are interested in teaching here? What puzzles me is, given the present need for skilled Healers, why you would take yourself out of St Mungo's, to work at Hogwarts.' She paused significantly, and he realised it was a question.

'I see a gap where my skills could be better utilised. You would be shocked at how many of our patients arrive without even the most basic first aid having been applied. The very simplest actions, such as rapid application of dittany, can save lives. Hogwarts students learn very little medical magic, and then it is piecemeal. A more systematic approach is required. In these troubled times, I believe all students should be taught how to manage in a medical emergency.'

McGonagall seemed to give this careful thought. 'But Severus, medical magic is complex, and often dangerous. The potential to do harm if you get it wrong is massive. That is why we do not teach it more widely. In any emergency situation, the best thing that anyone can do is get to St Mungo's, and let the experts deal with it.'

'I quite agree. Unfortunately, many people do not survive the journey to the hospital. Every day we are faced with distraught relatives who splinch themselves whilst transporting the injured. That leaves us with two casualties to deal with, and a poor outcome for both.'

'I see your point,' she agreed, tapping her quill on the table. 'So Severus, what do you do outside of work? Have you hobbies? A family?'

'My work is my life,' he replied piously. 'I read extensively, and develop my own spells and potions.'

'What about friendships? I seem to recall you being close to Lucius Malfoy when you were at school.' It was a loaded question. Of course, it wouldn't have escaped McGonagall's notice that Severus remained close to Lucius.

'Lucius has been a very good friend to me,' he acknowledged with an incline of his head. 'But I don't see what relevance it has to my suitability for a teaching post.'

She raised a single eyebrow in response, but moved on to another thread of questioning. 'As you know, at Hogwarts we welcome students from all backgrounds, magic and Muggle. What are your views on that subject?'

'I would naturally obey the policy of the school,' he said shortly.

'That isn't what I asked. What are your views on the matter?' She was staring hard at him, trying to use Legilimency.

He had no fear of her mind magic. He'd been able to block her when he was a student, let alone now. But he did need to answer her question, and he had to think carefully how. 'I am half-blooded myself,' he said eventually. 'My father was a Muggle, and I was raised in a house without magic. I attended a Muggle school until I started at Hogwarts. I have known Muggleborns with great talent for magic, and purebloods with little. I believe that if people have sufficient talent, they should be accepted here.'

'I am surprised you profess to hold such views, when they are at such odds with those whose company you keep.' Her tone was icy.

'The opinions of my friends are irrelevant!' he snapped, trying to keep his temper.

'They are entirely relevant, if they give me cause to doubt the honesty of your answer.'

Now riled, he fought the tide of rage inside him. He'd forgotten, in his months of absence, how angry Hogwarts and its sanctimonious staff had made him. 'If you must know, I don't have a problem with Muggleborns, but I do believe that they should make a choice. I don't agree with Muggle customs being brought into a school of magic. If they want to be a wizard, they should adopt our habits, and renounce their Muggle ways.'

'And if they do not? What then?'

'Then they have made their choice, and can give up their wands and live as Muggles.'

Colour was rising in McGonagall's lined face. 'And if they persist in mixing magic and Muggle ways? You'll step in to stop them?'

'It is an opinion. I am entitled to my opinion. I never said anything about acting on it. You asked my views, I gave you an honest answer. I already told you I would obey the policy of the school. What more do you want from me?'

'I want to establish if you are a suitable person to work at this school.'

He couldn't help it now. He knew he shouldn't let his feelings get the better of him, but he was just too angry. 'And what would be a _suitable_ person? You only employ people that hold the exact same views as you and Dumbledore? What sort of school does that make this? A place where you indoctrinate children and refuse to tolerate any other points of view? And we wonder why Britain is going to the dogs!'

McGonagall was also angry, but she contained her rage, becoming more prim and rigid than ever. 'Indoctrinate children? If that was the case, we didn't do a very good job on you or your friends, did we Mr Snape? And if you want to know why Britain is 'going to the dogs' as you put it, I don't think you need look any further than the actions of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his followers!'

They were both on their feet now, glowering at each other. Severus realised his hand was on his wand, and removed it hastily, but he saw her eyes follow the move. He spoke again, in a heavy voice. 'Why did you even bring me here? You never intended to give me the job. You'd already made up your mind.'

'Because Dumbledore believes in giving people a fair chance.'

'Well thank you very much for this _fair chance_. I'm greatly obliged,' he shot back, trembling with rage. 'I'll see myself out.' He turned on his heel and strode from the room with a swish of his cloak. He almost ran along the corridor and down the stairs. Anger coursed through him with every beat of his heart. All the inequities and frustrations of his schooldays came flooding back to him. He'd been a fool to come back here, to think that anything would be different now he was older.

He slammed out of the big main doors and didn't look back once as he crossed the grounds.

Later that evening he sat in Lucius' drawing room with his head in his hands. 'He's going to kill me,' he moaned. 'Hogwarts will never give me a job now. I've failed.'

'When are you going to learn to keep your temper, old bean?' asked Lucius rhetorically, pushing another glass into his hands.

'I know, I know. But Lew, if you'd heard her! So righteous, so condescending! It was just like I was still a stupid schoolboy, that she could order around and tell was wrong! It was all I could do not to hex her ugly old face, the hag.'

'Thank Merlin you didn't, I don't fancy trying to get you out of that one.' Lucius sat down opposite him and leaned forwards, bringing his head close to Severus'. 'Listen to me now. You can still try for the Dark Arts job.'

'After I insulted McGonagall and walked out? I don't think so.'

'I said you could still _try_, not that I thought you had any hope of succeeding. It's better than the alternative, which is explaining to Him that you've failed.'

'You mean… lie to Him?' The idea was alien, even to someone with Severus' ability at Occlumency.

Lucius jumped violently, his hand clasping at his forearm. 'Did I use the word 'lie'?' he squeaked. 'Just… tell Him you didn't succeed, and that you'll try again.'

Severus nodded, seeing the sense in this. 'Yes, you're right Lew.'

'Of course I'm right. I'm always right.' Lucius patted his arm awkwardly and rose to his feet. 'It's for the best, Severus. You wouldn't last a week without me to keep an eye on you.'

Author's notes

The falling-off-the-bridge incident has more relevance later than it might appear. Thanks to all readers and reviewers, hope you're still enjoying the story.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – The Prophecy

The Hog's Head was Hogsmeade's – and indeed, all of wizard Britain's – least reputable pub. Dark, dingy and full of shady clientele, it was the last place Severus would have expected Dumbledore to hold an interview for a new teacher. He pushed open the door, which creaked like something from a haunted house film, and was met with a hot fug of stale beer fumes. For a few seconds he was transported back to his younger self, fetching his father home from the local dive.

Pushing away such treacherous memories, he fixed his fiercest expression on his unprepossessing features and strode across to the bar. 'A beer, please,' he said shortly, pulling out his moneybag.

The barman took his time to serve him, and Severus took the opportunity to scan the interior for Dumbledore. There didn't seem to be any sign of the Headmaster, although it was so gloomy it would be quite possible to miss him.

'Four sickles,' grunted the barman. Severus found the coins and took the grimy glass to a table near the door. Most of the drinkers favoured the dark corners, but he needed to keep an eye on anyone entering and leaving.

It still made no sense to Severus that Dumbledore would enter a place like this. He must _really _want to get this woman on his staff. But that also seemed unlikely. Dumbledore's interviewee that evening was Sybil Trelawney, a middle-aged woman who'd spent her career – if it could be called that – as a jobbing fortune-teller, mainly catering to Muggle funfairs. She was the descendant of the famous Seer Cassandra Trelawney, but seemed unremarkable other than that. From what he could tell she had no money, and lived in a rented caravan.

All in all, he was stunned that Dumbledore would even consider employing such a nobody, let alone interview her in person when he hadn't afforded Severus that privilege. It could only be because of her famous connections, something that made Severus hate her on principle.

Voldemort had not been pleased that Dumbledore was planning to interview Trelawney with a view to offering Divination at Hogwarts. 'Just more evidence of the damage that this fool is doing to Hogwarts!' he'd snarled, causing everyone to quail back and hastily examine the floor. 'One of the few venerable institutions we have left in Britain to be proud of, and what does he do? Fill it up with phoneys and fakes, sprouting fictitious nonsense and calling it magic! The sooner we can take over that school, the better. There won't be any place for tea-leaves or crystal balls in Hogwarts once I've finished with it!'

Severus had been dispatched to the pub to try and listen in on the conversation. He'd managed not to allow Voldemort to find out about his argument with McGonagall, and the Dark Lord still believed that Severus had a chance of getting a teaching post. He'd told Voldemort that they'd said he was too young, and been suspicious of his potential connections to the Death Eaters. To his immense relief, this was accepted without question. The latest plan was to kill everyone that got appointed to the Dark Arts post as early as possible, to terrify anyone else out of taking the job and leaving Severus the only possible candidate.

In the meantime, Voldemort wanted to know what Dumbledore was saying to this woman. Was it really a job interview, or a smokescreen for some other clandestine project? If the latter, he wanted to know the details. If the former, it might provide useful tips for Severus' next attempt at getting a job. So Severus found himself in the Hog's Head, sipping at revolting beer and keeping his scowl fixed on the entrance.

Dumbledore entered so unobtrusively that Severus wouldn't have seen him if he hadn't been staring straight at the door with great intensity. The tall, bearded Headmaster was disillusioned, and his purple robed figure rippled and blurred as it quietly crossed the room. No one else gave him a glance, although he noticed the barman's eyes linger for just a second too long on the figure. His own eyes watering with the effort of focusing on the disillusioned form, Severus managed to see it disappear into a door at the rear of the pub, behind the bar.

Of course, Dumbledore wouldn't hold the interview in the main bar area. There must be rooms upstairs. Now the question was how to get through the door without the barman noticing. Severus could disillusion himself, but not as effectively as Dumbledore – and Severus was pretty sure the barman had noticed even him. He would have to wait for a distraction – or cause one himself.

He looked around the dim recesses of the pub, and then gave a grin of triumph. Tucked away in a corner were three hulking men playing a game of cards. He recognised one, a thuggish Death Eater called Gorgonius Goyle. Perfect. He sneaked a quick look at the barman, who was busy putting away glasses, and then flicked his wand in the direction of the card players.

'Hey! What are you playing at?' rumbled Goyle, addressing the man opposite him. 'You trying to cheat me?'

'Cheat? Who're you calling a cheat?' replied his opponent, rising to his feet.

The barman hastened across the room, wand out. 'Now, now, gents. Let's not have any trouble.'

Severus was already moving, disillusioned and light on his feet. No one noticed him slip through the door and pull it softly shut behind him. It was dark and claustrophobic on the other side, and for a moment he thought he'd arrived in a broom cupboard. Then his eyes adjusted and he made out the outline of the stairs and a dingy passageway. He began to sneak up the stairs. Half-way up, he cast his eavesdropping spell.

'…indeed, I have been looking at the cards and I have foreseen myself in a room… a little tower room perhaps… surrounded by eager young faces. I have Seen it very strongly.' The voice was just as he'd imagined, misty and vague and totally put-on. Trelawney was every bit the pathetic old fraud that her biographical information had suggested.

He heard Dumbledore make some platitudinous response. Of course, it was hard to judge without being able to the see them, but he had the distinct impression that Dumbledore was no keener on Trelawney than Severus was. The two exchanged some more dull conversation, Dumbledore querying what she would put on the curriculum, Trelawney giving answers that were distinctly woolly and meaningless.

Severus had a sudden moment where he looked at himself with an outsider's eyes. Here he was, crouching in the dark on some dirty stairs at the back of a horrible pub, eavesdropping on a pointless conversation between a devious old teacher and a talentless charlatan. All so he could report back to an evil Dark Lord to whom he was inexorably bound, with the aim of bettering his chances of gaining a teaching job he did not want and had no hope of getting. He was worth so much more than this! The Half-Blood Prince should not be brought so low!

He was seriously considering giving it up for a waste of time, when Trelawney broke off mid-warble. 'Madam Trelawney, are you all right?' asked Dumbledore's voice, with a note of genuine concern. Severus frowned and listened more closely.

'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches,' rasped a strange and horrible voice. It sent shivers down Severus' spine. It must be Trelawney speaking, but it couldn't sound further from her misty and vague tones of earlier. 'Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… And the-'

A hand grabbed him roughly from behind, lifting him by the scruff of his robes. 'What have we here then? A little sneak!' Severus had been so engrossed in Trelawney's prophesising that he hadn't heard the barman coming in behind him. Now suddenly they were face to face. A pair of sharp blue eyes stared into Severus'. The younger man struggled desperately to raise his wand arm, but years of altercating in pub fights gave the barman an advantage, and he pulled Severus' wand from his hand.

Severus was torn between the need to fight off this attack, and the need to hear the rest of the prophecy – for that was what he was sure it must be. Every second this idiotic publican grappled with him, more precious words were pouring from Trelawney, words that the Dark Lord would want to know. 'Let me go!' hissed Severus, afraid of speaking too loudly and disturbing the Seer.

'Sneaking around when my back's turned, listening at keyholes!' exclaimed the barman.

'I'm nowhere near a keyhole!' Severus protested.

'We'll see what Albus has to say about all this,' continued the barman as though Severus hadn't spoken, now advancing up the stairs and pushing Severus in front of him. 'These are troubled times we live in, people who listen at doors might be up to no good.'

They had arrived on a dark landing and before Severus could stop him, the barman knocked roughly on a door. Dumbledore's voice sounded within. 'Enter!'

The room inside was small and no cleaner than the rest of the pub. It contained a simple bed, a bedside table, a washbasin, and two kitchen chairs. Rising from one of the latter was Albus Dumbledore, resplendent in purple. Trelawney sat in the other, blinking owlishly behind an enormous pair of spectacles. 'Found this little ne'er-do-well eavesdropping on your conversation, Albus,' said the barman. 'Thought you'd better decide what to do with him.'

'I wasn't eavesdropping, I took a wrong turning on the way back from the toilets. I'm a paying patron of this pub and I don't expect to be manhandled. Give me back my wand!' Severus spoke quickly, avoiding Dumbledore's eye whilst simultaneously trying to assess the man's demeanour. Did he seem disturbed by what he'd heard?

'Liar as well as a creep, are we?'

'Thank you, Aberforth,' said Dumbledore in a quelling tone. He looked down at Severus from his great height, and the blue eyes met Severus' black ones. Instantly Snape felt the horrible sensation of legilimency being used on him, tendrils of mind magic entering his brain. His months of practice paid off, and he closed his mind with ease, staring back at Dumbledore. The Headteacher spoke again, 'A wrong turning, eh, Severus?' he said quietly. 'I think I can agree that you have taken a wrong turning, although perhaps not tonight on the way back from the toilets. The good thing with wrong turnings is that one always has the opportunity to turn back again.'

What did he mean by that? Severus stared at him, wary and cornered. He wanted to escape from this man's scrutiny, to think through what he'd just heard and decide what to do. He wanted to see Lucius and share his experience with his friend. He wanted a stiff drink. 'I didn't hear anything,' he said sullenly.

He knew Dumbledore did not believe him. After holding his gaze for five more very uncomfortable seconds the Headmaster said, 'If you wanted to improve your interview technique you only needed to ask, Severus.' He turned to Sybil Trelawney, who was gawping at them open mouthed. 'Severus is also interested in a job at Hogwarts, you see. Well, I'm sorry Severus,' he addressed his comments back to Snape. 'I'm afraid that the position has been filled – assuming of course that Madam Trelawney is prepared to take it?'

Trelawney's mouth gaped a little wider, then she shut it with a snap. 'Oh yes, yes of course… of course.' She began to smile and her voice sounded stronger and more certain. 'Of course, I had Seen this all along.'

'Indeed,' said Dumbledore. 'So further listening at doors will not be necessary, Severus. Aberforth, thank you for your assistance. Perspicacious as ever.' At this, the barman made a derogatory sound. 'Perhaps you would be good enough to show Mr Snape out of the pub. We wouldn't want him taking any more _wrong turnings_. Who knows where he may end up?'

Severus was propelled to the door by a shove in the small of his back. Aberforth the barman frogmarched him down the stairs and along the passageway, where he wrenched open a door and unceremoniously pushed Severus into the rain. 'You're barred,' he said shortly, throwing Severus' wand after him and slamming the door shut.

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Voldemort paced the floor. Severus was trembling and thought he might be sick. He'd just revealed what he'd heard of Trelawney's prophecy to the Dark Lord, and now he was praying that he wouldn't be killed. 'You believe there was more?' Voldemort asked, in a low voice.

'Yes, my Lord. She definitely said 'and' before I got interrupted. I didn't manage to hear any more – I had used an eavesdropping spell I invented and I'm afraid it failed when my concentration broke.'

'How long might she have gone on afterwards?'

'A minute, my Lord, maybe. When I got into the room she seemed to have stopped speaking.'

'Hmm….' Voldemort stopped suddenly and looked dead into Severus' eyes. Dumbledore's legilimency was nothing to this. There was something about Voldemort that seemed to get into every inch of your being. When you were with him, everything in the world became a trap. 'You have done well in hearing this prophecy, Severus.'

Snape sagged slightly with relief. Beside him, Lucius spoke tentatively. 'My Lord? Do you believe this prophecy is genuine?'

'Do you not, Lucius?' asked Voldemort, turning the beam of his gaze onto Lucius, who began to sweat.

'I… I don't know, my Lord. Prophecies are notoriously difficult to interpret. They often end up being self-fulfilling.'

'This one seems remarkably easy to interpret, Lucius. A boy will be born at the end of July, to parents who have defied me three times. This boy will have some sort of power, that could potentially enable him to defeat me. There isn't much room for doubt there, is there?'

'No my Lord, but Severus did not hear whole thing. We don't know what else it went on to say. Look at the prophecy about the Pillar. The prophecy said the Pillar would be destroyed, but it only got destroyed because the prophecy said as much. If you ignore this prophecy, it loses any power it might have.' Lucius stopped, clearly wondering if he'd said too much.

'Perhaps if we were the only ones to know of it. But Dumbledore heard this prophecy too. It is reasonable to think that he will not be so reticent about acting. If he thinks there is any chance of defeating me, he will grasp it with both hands. No, we cannot afford to ignore this. We must find this child and destroy him, before he has the chance to wield this supposed 'power' against me.'

'The child hasn't been born yet,' began Lucius, looking uneasy.

'I am aware of when July is!' snapped Voldemort, and both young men flinched in terror. 'You can go now. Both of you. And speak of this to no one!'

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Being pregnant had made Narcissa even worse tempered than ever. Severus' eyes were drawn to the huge roundness of her stomach as though pulled by gravity. 'For goodness sake, Lucius!' she shrieked, seeing Severus' gaze. 'I told you I didn't want people seeing me like this!'

'Come on Cissy, it's only Severus. He's practically part of the family.'

Narcissa gave a shriek of exasperation and threw up her hands. 'Lucius Malfoy, I despair of you!' she declared, before storming out as best she could, encumbered as she was.

As soon as she was gone, Lucius rounded on Severus. 'Well? Is it true?'

Severus nodded grimly. 'I'm afraid so. It was the Auror, Alastor Moody. They brought him in for treatment. Monty put up a good fight, it seems.'

'But not good enough,' said Lucius quietly. He was very pale, and moved over to slump into an armchair. 'Monty! Good old Monty. I can't believe he's dead.' He shook his head, staring at the fire with empty eyes. 'He never should have gone over to E-cell.'

'It could have happened to anyone,' said Severus with a slight shrug.

Lucius clenched his fists convulsively. 'And the others? The others just ran off and left him?'

'Of course they did. We'd have done the same.'

Malfoy opened his mouth as though to protest, but shut it again. He got to his feet and crossed to a bookcase, returning with a heavy leather bound book. Sitting again, he began to leaf through. Severus moved over to take a closer look, and realised it was a photo album. There were endless snaps of Lucius and Narcissa, smiling blankly in evening dress, smugly shaking hands with dignitaries, posing in front of Atlantis. Then their wedding pictures. Severus gave a start to see one of him with Lucius, his friend's arm draped over his shoulder. Lucius was beaming triumphantly, whereas Severus looked grumpy and put-upon.

'I always meant to give you a copy of this one,' said Lucius, pausing. He flipped over a few more pages, and there was the Slytherin Quidditch team of 1971. Lucius stood in the centre, haughty and handsome in his green robes. He was flanked by two heavy set youths, and it was the one on the right that he touched briefly now. 'Look at us all there. All we cared about was winning the Quidditch cup.'

Severus remembered it well, the hours of listening to Lucius droning on about tactics whilst Severus polished his shoes and sharpened his quills, making polite noises at the appropriate junctures. 'You did win it too,' he reminded him.

'Fat lot of good it did us,' said Lucius sadly, still staring at the picture. 'Monty Blackwell,' he repeated again, in the same tone of wonder. 'You're quite sure he's dead?'

'Of course I'm sure. He's dead, Lucius. Dead,' he said again, since Lucius seemed to be having trouble grasping the concept.

'I remember when I first met him,' said Lucius, turning the leaves of the album further back, rewinding through his own life. 'He pushed me over at a garden party. I must have been… three, maybe? No more than four. His father gave him such a thick ear! I felt rather sorry for him. We ended up hiding under a table eating trifle.'

It was hard to imagine a child Lucius, especially one engaging in such an undignified activity as eating stolen trifle under a table. Lucius continued, 'We joined the Death Eaters together. Him, me and Walden. We didn't know… we didn't know…' He took a very deep breath, than snapped the album shut. 'Where are my manners? I haven't offered you a drink yet. Where is that wretched house-elf? Dobby!'

'It's all right,' said Severus, rising to his feet even as a terrified Dobby appeared, clutching a wooden spoon. 'I ought to go. I've got a potion brewing back at the flat that'll need seeing-to soon.'

'Master called?' began Dobby, who was flung back off his feet by Lucius' vicious slap. Malfoy had struck the creature right across its face, literally launching it into the air.

Severus stared, as Lucius turned back to him. 'That is a shame, Severus. We should go out soon. Would Friday night suit you?' His voice was quiet and calm. From the floor, Dobby was gasping and sobbing.

'Er… yes. I think so.' He had a sudden urge to get out of Malfoy Manor as soon as possible. Lucius angry was very unpleasant indeed. 'I'll see you Friday.'

As he crunched away down the gravel drive, he felt a sudden pang of sympathy for Dobby, who was no doubt now taking the full brunt of Lucius' feelings about Monty's death. Who'd want to be a house-elf?

Author's notes

Here is my logic in the canon compliance of the prophecy scene. Exactly how much Severus heard is never explicitly stated, but can be extrapolated. Voldemort knew the boy would be born at the end of July and to people who thrice defied him. But it is fair to assume he didn't hear the 'and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal' - or he would have proceeded with more caution. So that puts the cut off point where I put it in this scene. That leaves a fair bit of prophecy - perhaps thirty seconds' more, for Trelawney to relate, before coming to her senses. At that point she hears a 'commotion outside the door'. The reason I put Severus on the stairs is to give enough time for Trelawney to say the rest of the prophecy before Severus and Aberforth reach the door. Of course, Trelawney refers to Severus listening at doors, but as she has no way of knowing if he was literally doing that.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – The Deal Renewed

Lucius and Narcissa's baby was born on June 5th, and given the faintly ridiculous name of Draco. Severus was certain this was Narcissa's choice – he knew Lucius had been all for calling the boy after himself. Everyone commented on how much like Lucius Draco looked. In Severus' opinion, this was simply a way of ingratiating themselves, since the baby looked nothing like Lucius. It was bald, red, flat-nosed and chubby-cheeked, and looked exactly like any other baby he'd ever seen.

The boy was added to the long list of triumphs in Lucius' charmed life, and Malfoy became quite a bore on the subject. Anyone would think the baby was something wonderful. Lucius was forever boasting about how Draco had achieved some task of mind-numbing simplicity, as though it were a remarkable feat.

The inner circle however were occupied with the search for another baby entirely – the boy in the prophecy Severus had overheard. Dumbledore had of course taken steps to prevent the Death Eaters discovering his identity. Severus tried several times to get the information via St Mungo's, but it was to no avail. Dumbledore had thought of everything. Dates of birth on medical records had vanished, and paperwork pertaining to births likewise. The big book at Hogwarts that kept track of students was removed to a vault deep within Gringotts.

Voldemort was surprisingly relaxed about it. 'We will find him sooner or later, they can't keep him hidden forever. We mustn't get impatient.' The last comment was directed at Bellatrix, a woman whose middle name should have been 'impatient'. Bella favoured what Lucius called the 'King Herod approach'; simply killing every baby under a year old in the country. It wasn't clear if she included her own new nephew in that, although it wouldn't have surprised Severus if she did.

Only the inner circle knew of the prophecy. The rank and file Death Eaters had no knowledge that their master was under threat from a mysterious child. After their setback with the Pillar, things were looking up again. The entire populace was terrified, resistance looked ever more futile and desperate, and the Ministry was increasingly cowed in the face of the Death Eaters. International indignation over the Pillar hadn't quite translated into action. The International Confederation of Warlocks had condemned the 'civil war' in Britain, but condemnation alone was not enough to stop the Death Eaters.

In fact it now seemed that – other than the prophecy boy – the only obstacle in the way of victory by Voldemort was Albus Dumbledore. It made no difference how well they did elsewhere, Dumbledore never seemed any less intimidating of a foe. Voldemort intimated that he would eventually deal with Dumbledore, but was awaiting the completion of some unknown 'preparations' first. On the plus side, they now had a spy within the Order. The identity of the person was the closest guarded secret of all, but Severus was certain it must be Sirius Black. He was rather irritated to find himself on the same side as his hated foe.

However his annoyance about Black was eclipsed by his increasing anxiety about being on the opposite side from Lily. It was now more than a year and a half since he'd last seen her, on the day of her wedding. Potter occasionally popped up in tussles with the Order, but of Lily there was no sign and no word. He prayed that meant she'd given up on her resistance role. Perhaps Potter had convinced her to leave the country for her own safety. But he knew Lily too well to really believe that. It was far more likely that she was engaged in some sort of high-risk secret mission.

Severus lived in dread of a scenario where he had to fight directly against Lily. Sometimes he woke up in a cold sweat, having dreamt he was in that situation. He often agonised over how he should react if – when – it actually happened. Protecting Lily without appearing to do so would be very difficult – but the thought of not trying to help her was unbearable, even though she was a capable dueller and not exactly a damsel in distress.

Unfortunately, in the summer of 1981, a year after he'd overheard the prophecy, he found himself faced with just that prospect. Voldemort had been getting increasingly angry about the Order's interference with their plans for some time, no doubt not helped by his frustration that the identity of the 'prophecy boy' remained unknown. Severus was preparing to apply again for the Dark Arts job at Hogwarts, and was dreading what would happen when he was yet again proved unsuccessful, as he surely would be.

At a meeting of the inner circle one sultry early summer evening, Voldemort announced that they were to launch a mass attack on the Order of the Phoenix. 'I have received intelligence that the Order plan to meet at Dumbledore's country house on the evening of July 10th. All of them will be there. I will take a small number of Death Eaters to create a distraction for Dumbledore, and in the meantime all other Death Eaters will attack this house and wipe out as many Order members as they can.' He looked around at his inner circle. 'And I mean, _all_. I want the biggest numbers we can get. Lucius, Augustus, you can oversee. I'll put you on brooms.'

Lucius looked dumbfounded at this and Severus had to kick him before he said, 'Yes, my Lord.'

Looking amused, Voldemort continued. 'The best duellers will go in a first wave to take full advantage of the surprise. We block the exits and prevent apparation as is standard. Once any immediate defences are breached, the rest go forward in a second wave. We will outnumber them, but we must be careful. Many of the Order are skilled duellers and will not go down without a significant fight. We need to think carefully about what spells to use.'

'We'll just kill them all!' gasped Bellatrix, wetting her lips at the thought.

'That's very well, Bella, but not everyone has your ability to cast the Killing Curse, especially not several times in a row. It is too difficult a spell, and too dangerous to use in a melee. No… we need something else… something that maximises damage whilst minimising effort…'

'My Lord?' asked Lucius. 'I believe I know the spell. Severus invented it.' Severus felt a flush of pleasure creep across his cheeks. 'It's very strongly bound. You practically only need say the word for it to work. Limited energy, limited intent.'

'And what does this curse do, Severus?' Voldemort turned his attention to Snape. It was like being put under a microscope.

'It is a slashing spell, my Lord. It causes numerous deep cuts on anyone it hits.'

'Could it kill?'

Severus answered immediately. 'Yes. A victim could bleed to death in a short time, depending precisely where the cuts were, and how deep. You can control the curse to some extent, making a slashing movement like so.' He demonstrated. 'Intent can help make the wounds deeper, but it is designed to be low effort for a caster.'

'I want to see this curse properly,' said Voldemort, and waved a hand. Everyone looked round involuntarily to see what the Dark Lord had done, but the room looked the same. Voldemort smiled slightly and continued, 'I would like a demonstration, Mr Snape. Who will try out this curse? Perhaps I have a willing volunteer?'

Suddenly everyone became very interested in the walls and floor. Voldemort stood over them, and Severus felt an irresistible urge to look up. Against their will, every pair of eyes turned back to the Dark Lord and fixed there. Voldemort prolonged their agony, sweeping his gaze theatrically from one end of the assembled faces to the other. Finally he said, 'Lucius.'

Malfoy made a noise like a small animal being trodden on. 'Yes, Master?'

'You will be an excellent volunteer… to cast the curse.' Malfoy nearly fell off his chair in relief. 'But who will be the victim? Who will assist the Dark Lord in this way? Come now, I am waiting.'

The silence stretched out intolerably, until Severus wasn't sure how he was managing to keep his mouth from shouting out that he would do it. Just as he could bear it no longer, the door to the church flew open with a bang, breaking the tension. Everyone jumped and started towards their wands.

Silhouetted in the doorway was a horrible sight. A drooping, withered figure, vaguely human shaped, which began to lurch towards them. A stench of rotting preceded it and a dark trail of mud lay behind. Voldemort smiled. 'We have our volunteer.'

There were nervous giggles of relief as Voldemort brought the Inferius into the centre of the room. Lucius rose to his feet and stood opposite the reanimated corpse, keeping as much distance as he could. His aristocratic nose twitched in disgust at the smell. 'Now, My Lord?' he asked, and after the Dark Lord's nod of ascent, he flourished his wand with unnecessary drama and said, _'Sectumsempra!'_

The Inferius remained standing for a moment, then looked down at its body, rather puzzled. Gaping wounds had appeared across the dessicated flesh, the ancient clothing split asunder. Voldemort clapped his hands, and the monster disappeared in a cloud of dust. The nearest Death Eaters gagged and spluttered, covering their faces to avoid inhaling any more.

'Perfect,' declared Voldemort, returning to his throne. 'Easy to cast and remarkably damaging. It will give a large number of casualties – serious injured but not beyond help – which will distract the uninjured and make our job easier. You have done well, Severus. You too Lucius, for suggesting it. So it is decided. We attack on the tenth, and use Severus' slashing spell as our principal charm.'

The rest of the meeting was devoted to an in depth discussion of tactics and arrangements. Planning such a big attack was a major undertaking and Severus was called upon frequently to offer his logical mind and magical expertise. It wasn't until they were leaving the church that he had time to think about the personal repercussions the attack could have. A tingling sense of foreboding spread over him as he reflected that if ever Lily was likely to be present at a fight, it was this time. He was going to have to find her as soon as he could, and work to shield her. If he could get to her and knock her out, he could potentially disillusion her and hide her. That seemed like the best option, but it was a lot easier said than done. Why did life have to be so complicated?

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The day before the attack on the Order, Severus visited Malfoy Manor at Lucius' invitation. Dobby ushered him into the house and he was greeted in the hallway by Narcissa. 'Oh, it's you, Severus.' She sounded rather disappointed. 'Lucius isn't back from the Ministry yet.'

'That's no problem, shall I wait in the drawing room?' He headed for that room without waiting for ascent, and settled into one of the easy chairs. To his alarm, Narcissa followed him and stood opposite, holding onto the back of a chair. 'Is everything all right?' he asked her, suddenly suspicious.

She hesitated. 'I don't know. It's Lucius.'

'What about him? Is he ill?'

'No, nothing like that. He's…' She stopped, and took a deep breath. 'You're planning some sort of big… attack? Raid… whatever you call it. I know you are, he told me so. Tomorrow. And he has to go and take part in it.'

Severus waited for her to go on, and when she didn't he prompted, 'Perhaps so. What of it?'

'He's… he's not himself. I think… I think he's scared,' she said bluntly, a pink flush suffusing across her porcelain cheeks. She continued quickly, 'He's not a fighter. You know that. It's never been his style. All this fighting, all this danger – it's getting to him. He's losing his nerve. Those close calls you had, and Monty dying… it bothered him more than he let on. He doesn't sleep as well. He drinks more. He thinks I don't notice, but I'm not stupid. And now we have Draco…'

'What do you expect me to do?' he asked, nonplussed. 'Worried' and 'scared' weren't words that went together with Lucius Malfoy in his head. Lucius sailed through life. Worries and fears happened to lesser men. It wouldn't have surprised Severus if he'd discovered Malfoy employed someone to experience his anxieties on his behalf, in much the same way he offloaded his housework onto Dobby.

'I don't know! Help him. Talk to him.' She spread her hands. 'Goodness knows why I'm even asking you! I might have known you'd be no use. You always had the social skills of a walnut.'

'Narcissa, you're worrying unnecessarily. Everyone gets keyed up before something like that, but he won't be in any danger. He'll be on a broom, high above all the fighters, giving orders. He's not going to do any duelling. It's nothing. I'm going to be down there in the first wave and _I'm _not worried.'

'If you were attacked by a group of people being commanded by a man above them on a broom, who's the first person you'd aim at?' she demanded.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. 'He'll keep himself well out of it.'

'Oh, where have I heard that before? Every other stupid 'mission' he's undertaken where he's _assured _me he won't be in the 'front line' only to arrive back having escaped within an inch of his life. Forgive me for being a little sceptical of your reassurance.' Somewhere in the house the baby began to cry, and she turned away towards the sound. 'Excuse me.'

She had barely left the room when he heard the front door opening and muffled sounds from the hall. Voices that were too soft to hear, until Narcissa said accusingly, 'You're _drunk_!'

A moment later Lucius appeared in the doorway of the drawing room. 'Severus, my old friend!' he announced, keeping a steadying hand on the doorframe. 'Fancy seeing you here, old bean! Dobby! Fetch us some drinks!'

The elf served them with neat tumblers of liquor. 'Your good health!' cried Lucius, clinking his glass against Severus' with just a bit too much force. He downed his in one and blinked, his eyes unfocussing momentarily as the alcohol slid down to his stomach.

'Are you all right, Lucius?' Severus asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

'All right? I'm never better!' He walked to the mantelpiece and grabbed another bottle, pouring himself another generous glassful. He thrust it into the air. 'Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!'

'We're not going to die!' snapped Severus, putting down his own drink and walking over to take Lucius' from him. 'Listen to me, everything is going to be fine!'

Lucius caught his eye, and suddenly his pretence dropped. He sat down heavily in his armchair. 'There's nothing like having a child to make one more aware of one's own mortality,' he said, in a much quieter voice.

'Having a child doesn't make you more likely to die,' said Severus impatiently. 'This is just the drink talking. Sleep it off and you'll be fine in the morning.'

'It doesn't make you more likely to die, but it makes you more aware of what you'd lose. It's easy for you, old bean. You only have yourself to worry about. If I die, what will become of Draco?'

'You won't die, but if you did, he'd be fine. He'll have Narcissa, and a small fortune, and a manor house. He's not going to be orphaned or destitute.'

'But he'd be fatherless. A boy needs his father, Severus.' Lucius' voice slurred slightly. Severus, whose own father had been barely fit of the title, didn't feel well placed to comment. As if following his train of thought, Lucius added, 'When I first met you, you were such an odd little boy. All this talent, but no shape, no direction. You were lost. That's why you need a proper father, to give you guidance, keep you on the right path.'

Severus realised that the chief guiding force in his life had been Lucius, but inhibition prevented him from saying as much. Instead he pulled Lucius to standing and forced his friend to look at him. 'Listen, listen to me! We're going to be all right. We'll have each other's backs. It'll be just like all the other times, when we've looked out for each other. And whatever happens, no matter what, we don't leave without each other, OK? OK?'

Lucius took a ragged breath, and nodded. 'OK.'

'You and me, we've always stuck together. We're a team. We have a deal. Right?' Severus made the sign of the Death Eaters with his right hand and held it out to his friend, who hesitantly formed his own fingers into the same pattern and pressed them to Severus'. 'Between the two of us, we'll be all right. And if we're not… well, we'll be together, won't we? And anything is easier to face with a friend than it is alone.'

The grey eyes stared back into his, and Lucius looked stronger. 'Yes… we have a deal,' he said eventually.

'Exactly. We made a deal to help each other. It's got us both to where we are today. Without it, we'd both be far worse off. So we keep the same winning formula. We help each other, and we succeed.' He wasn't sure where the words were coming from, and whether he believed them or not, but it seemed to be working. Lucius' eyes were focussed and his face harder. Traces of the familiar haughty Luicus were reappearing. 'Neither leaves without the other,' Severus repeated.

'Will you swear to it?' asked Lucius.

'I swear it on my life,' said Severus straight away, without hesitation.

'Good,' said Lucius, sounding relieved. He moved his hand away, and crossed to the bookshelf. He retrieved the photograph album he'd looked through on Monty's death, and turned through the pages. 'Here,' he said, removing something and holding it out to Severus.

'What is it?' asked Severus, wrong-footed by this new unexpected development.

'I promised you a copy ages ago,' said Lucius. 'Take it now. To remind you of our deal.'

'I'm not likely to forget,' said Severus irritably, taking the photograph and pushing it into his pocket without looking at the image of him and Lucius. 'Honestly Lucius, this isn't such a big deal as you think. We're the more powerful side. We're going to win.'

'I hope you're right, old thing. I really hope you're right.'

Author's notes

Of course, Voldemort's 'preparations' are his horcruxes. This section of the story is where I have struggled with the timeline. The story implies that the Potters weren't in hiding immediately, judging by Lily's letter and the fact they only resorted to Fidelius a week before they died. Also we have to assume Severus' conversion came very shortly after he found out the prophecy meant Lily's baby, yet we know he didn't start at Hogwarts until a couple of months before the Potters died. However we do know the Potters were hiding by Harry's 1st birthday in July. It makes sense for Severus not even have known Lily was pregnant - and it stands to reason she'd have withdrawn from 'front line' activities during her pregnancy. If he'd known, he's too bright not to have considered the implications. So the logical thing is that Dumbledore managed to keep the baby's identities secret for a while, with Severus finding out the truth at some time in spring/summer of 1981, turning traitor and moving to Hogwarts. Of course, some of this is guesswork, but it's hopefully plausible enough whilst fitting the canon facts. I'm no fan of Lucius', but I do find him an interesting character to write. I think Malfoy's cold feet here are borne out by his behaviour in canon, but it should be remembered his qualms are out of fear rather than morals. Thanks as always to my readers and reviewers.


	12. Chapter 12 A Terrible Revelation

Chapter 12 – A Terrible Revelation

Almost every Death Eater in the organisation was present in the church, hooded and robed and in various states of nervousness. It was the largest scale operation the Death Eaters had ever attempted. Usually they operated in smaller groups, stealthy and efficient, in their specialised areas. Now they were in a vast crowd, grouped with unfamiliar comrades, and many had no direct experience of wand-wand combat. Attacking defenceless Muggles was not the same as going for the wizards of the Order. Severus felt a growing sense of unease. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

The Dark Lord had branded them all with glowing numbers on the backs of their robes, enabling them to identity each other. Colours were used to identify their different roles within the overall plan. Severus, as one of the best duellers, was part of the first wave and therefore the 'D7' on his back glowed red. Lucius' 'D1' designation was a rather attractive purple. He'd probably chosen the colours himself.

At the appointed time, they would start to move. Before they even arrived at their destination, they were faced with a logistical nightmare. Moving such a big number of people to the same place without arousing suspicion was difficult. An elaborate plan had been worked out, mostly thanks to Severus' logical brain, involving various means of transport and different routes. Now they were awaiting some sort of signal, presumably from whatever informant the original intelligence had come from.

At last Lucius called everyone to attention. 'We are ready. Remember, stay with your appointed group and follow your travel plan to the letter. If you run into trouble, inform me via your Mark and go to ground. Do not, repeat, do not risk leading anyone to our destination. When we arrive, time will be of essence. As soon as sufficient numbers are mustered, the first wave will go forwards. The second wave will follow on my command, gaining the advantage of surprise. We will rid this country of Muggle-lovers and half-breed scum. We will regain our rightful place as wizards! We will win back our rights for our children!' He thrust a gloved fist into the air. 'The Dark Lord!'

'The Dark Lord!' chorused the Death Eaters, raggedly.

'The Dark Lord!' repeated Lucius, louder.

'The Dark Lord!' shouted the Death Eaters, more enthusiastically.

'The Dark Lord!' bellowed Lucius, one last time.

The echoing answer from the Death Eaters was a powerful sound, and Severus felt his spirits lift as he got swept along with it. 'First wave, depart!' shouted Lucius, and the masses cheered as Severus and his comrades mounted their brooms and kicked off.

'_All very stirring,'_ remarked someone via their Mark, once they were airborne. '_Fancies himself a great leader of men, I reckon.'_

'_Pah! That prima donna? Flitting round on a broom while the rest of us do the real work? He might think he's the Dark Lord's favourite, but the Dark Lord sees him for what he is, all right!' _There was no mistaking that voice. Severus identified Bellatrix several brooms ahead, a red 'A1' glowing on her back.

Most of the 'first wave' were from Bellatrix's cell. He knew many of them, although they were all disguised. Roddy and Rabastan were there of course, easily recognisable by their sheer size. They flew with Antonin Dolohov, one of the earliest Death Eaters, a sneering man with a streak of viciousness to rival Bellatrix's own. And there was a small, weedy figure that stuck close behind Bellatrix, whom he'd heard rumoured was none other than Barty Crouch Junior. Now there was a scandal that the _Prophet _would pay a small fortune to hear about. Just as well for Crouch that no Death Eater would even think of betraying the organisation.

There were others too, from a variety of squads, not all known to Severus. Even the members of the Inner Circle did not know all of their fellows. He tried not to spend too much thought on worrying about their identities. He needed to focus on the task in hand; staying on his broom. He was probably the only person who would find the flight there more taxing than the actual fighting.

They landed half an hour later in a small wood near a river. Dumbledore's country house was on a low hill not far off. They hid the brooms at the appointed place, where Voldemort had arranged for them to disappear. The plan was to apparate out, when secrecy no longer mattered. Bellatrix jiggled impatiently whilst they waited for the rest of the troops to start arriving. There was tension in the air, despite the tranquil setting. This was the phase that could most easily go wrong. If they were discovered before everyone arrived, they would be outnumbered and off guard. Severus paced the periphery, sharp eyes and ears alert to any sign of danger.

Once a reasonable number had mustered, Lucius gave the order to start advancing. As Severus followed the others out of the trees, his friend caught up with him and laid a hand on his arm. 'Good luck, old bean. Remember our deal.'

'Neither leaves without the other,' Severus affirmed, with a quick smile behind his mask.

Lucius nodded, and then in one fluid movement had mounted his broom and soared away. Severus had to jog to catch up with the rest of the first wave, who were moving rapidly across the open country. Of course, the majority of those there were practised assassins, used to eliminating Voldemort's opponents with as much or little fuss as was required.

Dumbledore's house came into view, a large redbrick building with an old barn to one side. It was probably a farmhouse once upon a time. '_Anti-apparition jinx placed,_' came Lucius' voice.

'_Exits sealed,_' continued Rookwood, flying to the left of Lucius. '_Person revealing charm confirms presence of multiple persons within.'_

Severus grasped his wand more tightly, heart starting to pump. They were fanning out into a spearhead formation, signalled by Bellatrix. The house seemed very near now. From here it appeared to be empty. He wondered if Lily was inside, prayed she wasn't.

'_Dark Lord confirms Dumbledore otherwise engaged,' _came Lucius' voice, and Severus knew his friend would be feeling sick now with nerves.

'_Get on with it!'_ snapped Bellatrix's voice through the Mark.

'_First wave, advance!' _commanded Lucius.

The Lestranges, Crouch and Dolohov were moving even before Lucius gave the word, racing up the hill full pelt. Severus had barely started forwards himself when the first of them was thrown back, with a bright flash. An earsplitting siren began to wail. Roddy – or perhaps it was Rabastan – continued forwards and was similarly launched into the air to land with a thud several feet back. The rest pulled up, cursing. '_Undetectable protective wards!' _screeched Lucius, circling round above them. '_Come on, lift them, lift them fast!'_

From the house, movement could be seen in the windows. The Order were alerted to their presence. There was no point trying to hide. There was a bright shower of breaking glass, and a volley of spells emerged from a window. The protective charms were well designed; the spells of the defenders went straight through, whereas those fired back by the Death Eaters were repelled. Lucius was swearing fluently. This could turn into a disaster, aborted before they'd even begun. Already they'd lost their advantage of surprise. The sort of failure now staring them in the face was punishable by painful protracted death.

Severus closed his eyes and raised his wand. He felt for the edges of the spell, trying to work out how it was done, how to untangle it. '_Cover him! Cover D7! A6, B8, cover him now!' _Lucius screamed. Severus tried not to think about how exposed he was, hoping the cover would be sufficient. The protective charms were good, probably the work of Dumbledore himself. But no charms were that good. Not against such a force.

'_Everyone needs to throw as many spells as they can at the barrier at once!' _he Marked up to Lucius. '_Volleys on three, over and over again. I think I can break it, if we have sufficient manpower behind it.'_

Lucius relayed the instructions, and moments later the first onslaught hit the barrier. Severus slashed and dragged his wand through the air, muttering an incantation under his breath as he did so. The next surge of spells hit the barrier, and Severus felt it ripple and weaken. Someone else must have cottoned on to how he was doing it, because suddenly it became easier, unpeeling from a second place. The next volley of spells broke through. The wailing sound faltered and fell silent, and a ragged cheer took its place.

Eyes open again, he ran forwards with the rest of the first wave. Lucius above them was shouting for the second wave to advance. The plan was ruined. All they could hope now was to use their superior numbers to full advantage.

The Order had not been sitting idly in the meantime. They had managed to unseal a door and now a stream of them flooded out to meet the advancing Death Eaters. '_Reseal the exits!' _someone Marked up to Lucius, but Severus had no time to see if it was done, because the two sides were now close enough to start fighting in earnest. A moment later, he was in combat with a middle-aged wizard in orange robes.

Time passed in a blur. He was only vaguely aware of wider events. He could hear Bellatrix screaming the Killing Curse, despite the plan to wound. But most of his attention was on his immediate opponent. They duelled fast and furiously. The Order wizard was on the back foot, forced to defend, but nevertheless he held his own. Severus tried again and again to disarm him or slash him, and time and again he was blocked.

Another wizard appeared as if from nowhere, and almost got him with a hex. Severus shielded, and suddenly he was the hunted, forced to fight two at once. It took all of his skill to keep himself protected, never mind return any spells. Breathless, he spun and dodged, his wand almost a blur as he duelled both at once.

There was a yell and from nowhere a man flew into his field of vision, crashing into one of his opponents. Quick as lightning, Severus darted away, pursued by the second man. They locked into close combat, eye to eye, wandtips almost hitting each other as they fought. Severus mustered all his thoughts, focussed as hard as he could, trying to see the spells forming in the other man's mind. It gave him a split second advantage, and enabled him to pre-empt two clever moves on the other's part.

Finally he sensed a chink in the armour. His opponent threw a powerful hex at him, and rather than shielding, Severus ducked. Overreached, the wizard stumbled and faltered. His eyes widened as Severus' curse hit him square under the chin, and when he hit the ground he did not get up again. '_Expelliarmus!' _Severus managed to catch the wand, and snapped it, dropping the halves, still joined by a translucent strand of unicorn hair, onto the grass.

Now he could take in the broader picture again. Death Eaters and Order members duelled all around him. His heart quickened at the sight of his sworn enemies, James Potter and Sirius Black, duelling back to back. He looked around frantically for Lily. He glimpsed red hair, and his heart swooped, but it belonged to a man. He was fighting a group of five Death Eaters, along with another redhead who could only be his brother.

Unable to see her among the fighters, he ran among the fallen, trying to spot her. He saw a Death Eater with gaping wounds and performed a hasty healing charm. An Order member nearby was stirring, and he took a moment to throw the wand by her side as far away as he could. But of Lily there was no sign.

A jet of red light missed him by inches and he shielded hastily, looking for the source. He realised it was coming from an upstairs window. The defenders had made a hole, in both the glass and the sealing spell, and were trying to pick off fighters one by one. But the Death Eaters were winning. He saw Potter on the ground, bending over an unconscious or injured Black and felt a pang of some emotion. Was it horror or victory? He couldn't even tell anymore.

'_We need to get inside, we need to get inside! Unseal the door!' _That was Bellatrix, in between taking potshots at the bodies on the grass.

'_Get them up, get the fallen Death Eaters up!' _instructed Lucius, swooping overhead. Rookwood was some distance off, directing the last pocket of fighting at the other end of the building.

'_Unseal the door!' _Bellatrix's response was screamed out loud, and accompanied by a curse that hit a felled Order member. Blood flew high into the air.

'_Get the fallen up!' _Lucius had come lower. '_The Ministry will be coming, we need to get as many out alive as we can!'_

Two things happened. Just as Rookwood Marked, '_Door unsealed in three-two-one,' _a series of spells shot from the upper right window of the house, arcing high above the fighters and hitting Lucius. Malfoy fell immediately, dropping from the sky in a flurry of robes.

The rest of the first wave were already racing for the door. Severus threw himself behind the edge of the barn to avoid another spell and lashed out with his wand, managing to break Lucius' fall before the latter hit the ground. At the edge of his field of vision, he saw James Potter, glasses askew and face covered in blood. He was on his knees, staring appalled at the doorway where Bellatrix and several others were slipping inside. '_Avada Kedavra!' _screamed Bella, disappearing through the door illuminated by a green light.

Potter's mouthed a word, reaching out with both arms as though he could stop the Death Eaters by willpower alone. Severus didn't need to hear to know whose name was on Potter's bloodied lips. He began to run towards the house, desperately trying to locate Lucius with his Mark. He could feel his friend was still there, and prayed he wasn't badly hurt. He'd sworn not to leave him, but Lily… The door of the house was already closing, he only had seconds. There was no time to think, no time to choose.

He threw himself at the door and narrowly made it inside. It slammed behind him, and he found himself in the midst of a fierce battle. The combatants were in ridiculously close quarters in the limited space. He brandished his wand, then simply gave the man in front of him a hearty shove. He fought defensively, automatically, all the time trying to see where Lily might be. A Death Eater fell to the left of him. He pushed back the two Order members responsible through a doorway, slamming the door after them and sealing it. A group of fighters chased along the hallway and disappeared through another door.

But where was Lily? He couldn't see her, and that scared him. The chimneys were still blocked and the anti-apparition jinx in place, so she couldn't have escaped. Why wasn't she in the thick of the fighting, where she'd surely want to be? The crowd in the hall had thinned out and he could see better. Some had fallen, others had moved further into the house. He stumbled on a woman sprawled on the flagstones, and heard a snap of bones in her hand. Nauseated, he fell against the wall.

A Death Eater, one of Bellatrix's squad, was disappearing up the stairs in a flurry of robes. Severus saw what he thought was a glimpse of red hair as a head drew back from above the landing banister. There were several shouts from above. His Mark burned and Lucius' voice informed them, '_Retreat! The anti-apparition jinx is lifted! Get out of here!' _But there was no time to feel relief, as he was pushing his way to the stairs.

Across the hall, there was a screech of triumph, and he turned to see a man crumpling to the ground, eyes glazed. Bellatrix was already looking round for fresh prey, eyes alighting on the stairs. Severus stepped forwards. 'I'll take the stairs, I think there are more hiding out back!' he yelled, pointing down the hallway as he mounted the steps.

Mercifully she did as he suggested, and ran off down the hall. From above, someone screamed. His feet were moving straight away towards the sound, before his conscious brain had fully processed it. He stumbled up the stairs and saw a Death Eater on the landing, a red number A6 on his back. A body lay at the top of the steps. Lily was in a doorway, blocking it. Her hands clung to the frame on either side. There was no sign of her wand. The Death Eater was laughing, taking his time as he raised his wand.

The red jet of Severus' stunning spell hit the Death Eater on the back of the head. The man or woman slackened and fell forwards, Lily squealing and stepping back to avoid being hit. Her wide eyes found the source of the spell, and she stayed frozen, staring at Severus. She made a little noise in the back of her throat. 'The anti-apparation jinx has been lifted,' he said, without moving.

She remained still, then suddenly crumpled to the floor. He cried out, thinking she'd been hit, but a second later she was standing upright again, now holding her wand in a trembling hand. 'Why?' she started to ask.

'Go!' he choked, hearing footsteps behind him. He began to ascend the stairs again, and that spurred her into motion. She backed into the room, and seemed to be bending over something. Why the hell wasn't she getting straight out of there? 'The jinx is lifted, go!' he hissed, not daring to speak any louder.

She turned back to him, and now she was holding something. Something large and irregular in shape, both heavy and delicate. He realised in a horrible moment of clarity that it was a baby. A big baby, dressed in an androgynous navy blue garment. It turned towards him, and Lily's green eyes stared from within a podgy white face. Lily brandished her wand. 'Thank you,' she said, before turning and disapparating.

Severus gripped the bannister so tightly that his knuckles showed white. Lily had had a baby. Potter's baby. The existence of the child sickened him. But something else was nagging in his mind, a building wall of horror that threatened to engulf him. A baby, born at the end of July. Born to parents who'd thrice defied Voldemort. Few people had defied Voldemort three times and survived to procreate, never mind a couple who had both done so.

But Lily and James Potter had. And there was a baby. He shut his eyes to try and stop the world spinning. All thoughts of the fight, of the danger he was in, were driven out of his mind. The instruction to pull out echoed through his head again, but it might as well have been in Greek. He was frantically trying to work out how old that baby had looked, to find some piece of evidence that would disprove the awfulness of the theory that had occurred to him.

There was nothing to contradict it. And he knew, he just knew, that it was true. Because it was too typical of his wretched life and luck not to be true. The baby the prophecy spoke of was Lily's. It was only a matter of time before Voldemort found out, and killed her. And Voldemort would do so because Severus Snape had told him to. It was too much to take in.

He never heard the feet on the stairs. His legs folded underneath him as the curse hit. Even then he felt no sense of urgency. He was still too shocked. There was a shout and a thump behind him, and a moment later he was being hauled to his feet. His legs were still useless, but the iron grip of his assailant kept him upright. His head was still spinning in a way that had nothing to do with the charm. It was all over, in every sense. He had destroyed her, he had destroyed himself. He was finished.

The painful, dizzying sense of apparation overtook Severus' distress for a few seconds, but as he emerged with a thump on the expensive carpet of Lucius' hallway, the horror of what he'd done hit him afresh. He'd as good as killed Lily! Lily, whom he'd sworn to protect. Lily, whom he'd die for in a heartbeat. Somehow, some awful twisted circumstance had led him to sign her death warrant. He would have laughed at the irony if it hadn't been so utterly terrible.

He was aware of the pile of the carpet pressing into his cheek, and Lucius' voice above him repeating his name in increasingly panicked tones. Bile sloshed through his digestive tract, as every bit of his body seemed to convulse in repellence at what he'd done. He kept his eyes tight shut, as though he could block out the truth. He held his breath, he clenched his fists, he writhed on the ground, but the torment was deep inside. There could be no escape from the source of this pain. Eventually he lay, spent and hollow, trembling with emotion, feeling as though he'd never move again.

The voices of his friends reached him as though from a great distance.

'Do you think we should take him to St Mungo's?' That was Lucius, and close by. He must be kneeling next to him.

'Are you out of your mind?' Narcissa, standing over them.

'We could make up some story…'

'Don't be so bloody stupid. Get out of the way.' A moment later, a pair of fingers with sharp nails slipped under Severus' chin and pressed against his neck for a few seconds. 'He's got a pulse. Levitate him upstairs, put him to bed, and let him sleep it off. It will probably wear off.'

He wasn't sure which Malfoy levitated him to bed, though judging by how often his head banged the wall it was probably Narcissa. But he barely noticed. None of it mattered. There was no space in his mind for anything but the enormity of what he'd just realised.

He went over things again and again in his mind. The dates. Born at the end of July; so conceived at the end of October. He hadn't seen Lily during that time, so he could neither confirm nor deny the dates. Lily had married Potter in September… so a honeymoon baby then, almost. How typical of Potter, of his charmed life. Had the baby been the right size? How big was a nearly-one-year-old? He thought of Draco, who was a couple of months older, and his heart sank. Yes, Draco was a similar size.

Why did Lily have to go and have a baby? With Potter of all people? How could she? This was her fault, her fault for being so stupid. Who went and had a baby in the middle of a war? Couldn't she and Potter have abstained at least while they were at risk of death on a daily basis? He thought of the way they'd always been touching each other in public, and a sick anger kindled in his stomach. For a second he could believe that Lily deserved everything she'd got.

Then he remembered his own actions, how his only thoughts before passing the information to Voldemort had been for himself. He recalled his smile of relief when his master vowed to kill the boy and didn't decide to shoot the messenger as well. Of course, he knew Lily didn't deserve to die. She was kind, through and through. That blasted baby would be the most loved, treasured , lucky child in the world. It was a typical thing for Lily to do. Just when other more cynical souls were deciding not to get pregnant, she would have seen only the hope and joy of a new life.

If only he'd thought twice about passing on that prophecy! Why hadn't he thought of the possibility of it meaning Lily? What was the point of her being constantly in his mind if at the crucial time he didn't put two and two together? What a fool he'd been. If he hadn't been so stupid… He could have kept quiet about the prophecy. Voldemort would never have found out. When the time came, he could have saved both her and the boy, and she would have been twice as grateful.

Instead Voldemort would never rest until the child was found and eliminated, along with its parents and anyone else who happened to get in the way. There had to be a way to stop him from doing that. Severus began running through plans in his mind, each more ridiculous than the last. Could he pretend he'd misheard the prophecy? Tell the Dark Lord he'd fabricated it completely? He dismissed them as hopeless – Voldemort would know he was lying.

Maybe he should pretend to remember some other crucial detail of the prophecy, something he'd not mentioned, that would rule out Lily's son. 'And his eyes will be the darkest shade of brown…' or something of the sort? No. Voldemort wasn't stupid.

He wished again that he had a time turner. He suddenly remembered Lily, fourteen years old, stretched out on the grass and saying authoritatively, 'Time turners don't work that way.' She was right, of course. But if only they did! Of all the things in his life that he'd ever wanted to go back and change, he wished for this one so hard that his whole body ached with the effort. Surely if it was possible to wish something into being, he would succeed. No one could feel more of a burning, consuming desire for something. He would do anything, literally anything, to undo the harm he'd inadvertently done. But there was nothing that he could do! Nothing.

Unless… He remembered Voldemort's promise to him, that he would give Severus any woman that he desired. Would the Dark Lord make good that promise? He would not spare the baby, of course not, but Lily… Lily would be sad, he supposed, about the baby. But she could have another baby, couldn't she?

That was it. When the time came, and Voldemort began to actively hunt the Potters, he would beg for Lily's life. And maybe, just maybe, Voldemort would agree. Of course, he might just as easily kill Severus for admitting an attraction to a Muggleborn, but that was a risk that would have to be taken.

He began to feel a little better as he worked through the possibilities. It was light, and he got out of bed, pleased to find his legs were working fine again. Narcissa had been right about the effect of the curse wearing off. He made his way down the stairs to the morning room. Narcissa was already up, and was sitting at the table with baby Draco on her knee, spooning some sort of mush into his mouth. Severus paused, watching them. Yes, Draco did look a similar size to the child Lily had been holding. His white arms and legs were equally plump, his hair similarly fine and soft. But the grey eyes that turned to stare at him were the icy grey of Lucius', rather than green.

Narcissa followed her son's gaze, and she looked up in surprise. 'Oh, it's you. You've recovered then.'

'Yes, thank you,' he replied, entering the room and sitting at the table opposite her. 'I don't think it was anything serious.'

'I told Lucius so,' she sniffed, spooning up some more goo. 'He was all for taking you to St Mungo's.'

'That wouldn't have been necessary. Talking of St Mungo's, I ought to go soon. My shift starts mid-morning.' He glanced at the clock.

'Have some breakfast first,' suggested Narcissa, clicking her fingers. Dobby appeared beside her. 'Go and fetch Severus some breakfast, Dobby. And I'll have another cup of tea and half a grapefruit.'

The elf vanished, leaving Draco reaching out towards where it had been, fat starfish hands opening and closing on thin air. A trail of food ran from his mouth. Apparently in his fascination he'd forgotten to swallow. Severus suppressed a shudder. Narcissa batted her son's hands away and wiped his chin with an expert hand. 'No, not the elf, Draco. Nasty. Germy.'

'Is Draco… is he a normal size for his age?' asked Severus, trying to make it sound like a casual enquiry.

Narcissa's eyes narrowed immediately. 'What do you mean? Of course he's a normal size. What sort of a question is that? You don't think… you don't think there's something wrong with him?' A note of fear crept into her defensive tone.

'No, not at all,' Severus hastily reassured her. 'I don't know anything about babies, and I wouldn't be able to tell anything by looking at him. I was just… curious.'

He was saved from explaining any more by the arrival of Lucius, resplendent in a peacock blue dressing gown and jewelled purple slippers. He greeted Severus with an unusual degree of effusiveness, and bombarded him with extensive questions about his health. 'You gave me a scare, old thing,' he confessed, once he was finally satisfied that Severus was all right. 'What happened? I barely managed to get you out in time.'

Severus shrugged. 'It was just a duel, I got caught by a spell. Even I have my limits. Thanks for coming in for me.' Despite their deal, if he was honest, Severus had never assumed Lucius would actually keep to it.

'I said I wouldn't leave you,' said Lucius with a shrug of his own. 'When you didn't confirm you'd heard the order to retreat, I used your Mark to locate you. You should have seen me! I ran right through the remains of the battle and got into the house. Someone grabbed my leg but I stunned them,' he made a slashing movement with his wand arm, acting out his moment of glory. 'Then I saw some Order type on the stairs, coming right at me. He cast some sort of curse, and I shielded. It bounced off and hit him right between the eyes! Then I ran up and found you, and apparated us out just as the Ministry's cavalry arrived on the scene!' He finished his story, flushed and pleased with himself.

Narcissa made an impatient noise. 'You talk about all this as though it's some sort of… of game! Some piece of fun. Well, you weren't looking so pleased with yourself last night, Lucius Malfoy, when he was gibbering on the hearthrug and you thought he might not make it. You'd do well to think about that, when you're next planning one of your little escapades.'

'I don't think of it as a game,' snapped Lucius. 'But it's rare that I have to take part in anything like that, I can't remember the last time…'

'You were part of it this time,' interrupted Narcissa. 'It only needs to go wrong once, Lucius. The fact you have less practice than the rest isn't in your favour. 'Rare' isn't rare enough.'

'What would have me do, Cissy? I can hardly decline to participate.'

Narcissa stood up, lifting the baby with her. 'I know that. But you could at least pretend to take it seriously.' She swept out of the room, Draco peering back at them over her shoulder.

Lucius sighed heavily. 'Sorry about that. She hasn't been the same since she had the baby. Well, you know how it is with women and babies.'

Severus didn't know how it was, but he felt a sinking sensation at Lucius' words all the same. After all, he'd just condemned the child of the woman he loved to death.

Author's notes

Of course, Severus' thought that 'Lily could have another baby' reflects his lack of understanding of parental love. A bit like an albino peacock, he sees it as a possession that can be replaced, just as he intimated to Lucius in chapter 9. I know it's a bit annoying to have Severus rescue Lily again, but it's hard to have Lily rescue him when he's a DE - and as I needed Harry there for the big reveal, there's no way she'd be doing anything but protect him. There are four more chapters to go of this fic. I'm working on the sequel, which will be much longer and covers the canon timeframe. Thanks as always to my readers and reviewers, I hope you're enjoying the story.


	13. Chapter 13 The Decision

Chapter 13 - The Decision

Severus knew it would only be a matter of time before Voldemort worked out whose child the prophecy referred to. Voldemort was pleased with the results of the raid on the Order, which after its unpromising start had resulted in mass casualties and several deaths among the Order members, with minimal losses to the Death Eaters. But best of all, it revealed to him the existence of two babies born to Order members, and within days Rookwood's network had used the new information to confirm these were indeed the likely 'prophecy boys'.

The existence of a second boy filled Severus with brief hope. Perhaps it would turn out that this other boy – child of the Aurors Frank and Alice Longbottom – fitted the criteria better than the Potter baby. But it was not clear which was better suited, and the decision was to kill them both. Voldemort would do so in person – the role of the inner circle was to locate the two families. This was easier said than done, as they were all in hiding, but no one could hide for that long in the face of the full might of Lord Voldemort.

Voldemort called Severus to a private meeting. Severus was terrified that he might have come to know about Severus' feelings for Lily, but it turned out not to be the case. Nevertheless, the Dark Lord was not pleased with Snape.

'It is at times like these, Severus, that I most acutely feel the need for a spy within Dumbledore's camp,' said Voldemort, toying with a silver locket that presumably had come from some recent victim. 'If I had a loyal follower at Hogwarts, close to him, I am sure that it would be no time before the whereabouts of these fools and their progeny would be found.'

Severus didn't know what to say, so he only whispered, 'Of course, my Lord,' and bowed his head very low.

'But I don't have such a well-placed loyal follower, do I, Severus?' he continued. 'And why is that?'

'My Lord, I have tried. But Dumbledore suspects my involvement with the Death Eaters, and he will not be reassured.'

'Damn him!' shrieked Voldemort suddenly, causing Severus to jump so hard he bit into his lip. The iron taste of blood filled his mouth. The Dark Lord paced furiously. 'It's high time he hurried up and _died_, and stopped interfering in my plans. The meddlesome old Machiavelli wants power for himself, that's the truth. I've heard enough about his past to know his game. He might make out to the world that he's reformed, but it's just a front.'

All of a sudden, realisation dawned on Severus, an idea germinating in his mind. It took his breath away with its simplicity, and he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. 'My Lord,' he choked. 'My Lord… I have an idea.'

Voldemort stopped pacing and turned his full attention back to Severus. 'Well?'

Stumbling a little in the terrifying gaze of his master, Severus began to outline his idea as coherently as he could manage. 'Dumbledore suspects my involvement, and nothing I do will change that. So the solution is to stop trying to cover it up, and admit to it. I will go to Dumbledore and tell him I used to be a Death Eater, but now I am reformed. Perhaps I could say that seeing the terrible injuries of those hurt in the raid was the thing that finally changed my mind. I can spin a tale of deepest remorse, and beg to be allowed to make amends. I can plead to be kept in the safety of Hogwarts, and in return will impart all of my knowledge of the Death Eaters.'

There was a breathless silence whilst Voldemort considered. 'It may work,' he said eventually. 'But it will require extraordinary occlumency from you. Do you really think you are capable of that?' The Dark Lord came close and stared into Severus' eyes. At these quarters he was truly terrifying, a presence far beyond the physical man. Severus could feel the power radiating from the unremarkable body.

'It is a high risk strategy,' said Voldemort after what felt like an eternity, still not moving his snake-like eyes from Severus'. 'If they do not believe you, you will face Azkaban for sure.'

'It is a risk I am prepared to take,' whispered Severus. 'Our cause needs a spy. Other methods have proved impossible. If we do not take a risk, we may never penetrate Dumbledore's camp.'

Eventually Voldemort smiled. 'I note your loyalty. However I need to think about this. Your skills make you useful, Severus, highly useful. It would be inconvenient to lose them. We will talk again. You may leave.'

Severus backed out of the room, heart pounding. When he got back to the flat he washed himself thoroughly, but he still couldn't shake off the feeling of Voldemort's scrutiny, covering his skin like slime. He hardly dared to think about his plan, for fear that Voldemort would read it there, would realise.

The intervening days were painful. Severus feared all the time that Lily would be tracked down. He could just imagine Potter doing something reckless, probably along with Black, and leading the Death Eaters back to their hiding place. Dumbledore may be powerful, but that hadn't stopped the idiocy of Potter and Black nearly blowing his little werewolf protection set-up. It only took one idiot to ruin the best of plans, and Lily was surrounded by idiots.

He had rarely felt so relieved to be summoned to a meeting as he did when his Mark burned a week after his proposition to Voldemort. He arrived in a state of feverish excitement, barely able to sit still, although he tried to contain his thoughts. Beside him, Lucius picked up on his tension and shot him an anxious look. But the meeting was unremarkable, with the cell leaders reporting on their progress in various tedious missions. No one had made any progress in locating the Potters or the Longbottoms. Voldemort shrugged. 'Someone will make a mistake sooner or later,' he said. 'I think I can probably face a two year-old as easily as a one year-old.' Sycophantic laughter rippled around the relieved Death Eaters in response.

At the end of the meeting, Voldmort again asked Severus to remain behind, but this time he also motioned for Lucius to stay. Whilst the others filed out, Bellatrix shooting them filthy looks, Severus could tell that Lucius was desperate to ask him what was going on. But of course, he didn't dare in Voldemort's presence, even through his Mark.

As soon as the last Death eater had left the room, Voldemort spoke. 'I have considered your suggestion, Severus, and decided it is worth trying,' he said, without further ado.

Relief surged through him. 'Thank you, my Lord,' he whispered. Beside him, Lucius tensed even further. Severus could almost hear him thinking, _What suggestion?_

'It is a high risk strategy, as I have said. However the rewards outweigh those risks, on balance. I have considered certain mitigating measures. Firstly, I shall place very strong enchantments upon you to prevent you revealing the names of your fellow Death Eaters, no matter what inducements are placed on you. A memory charm would be too dangerous, and render further operations more difficult. Secondly, you will carry antidote to Veritaserum in a capsule on the shoulder of your robes. Thirdly, your contact with me, and with the Inner Circle, will be limited from now on. That is where Lucius comes in.'

'My Lord?' said Lucius, almost falling off his seat in his eagerness to be let in on the secret.

'From now on, Lucius will run you in much the same way he does his other information assets. You are already a known friend of the family, it will not arouse suspicion if you remain in touch – in fact, it would do the reverse should you cease to see him. Lucius will act as a conduit between us. Naturally, if any urgent matters arise, your Mark will still serve a useful purpose. Have you told Lucius of our plan?'

'No, my Lord.' Severus turned to his friend and quickly outlined his idea. Lucius took it all in silently, his grey eyes hard to read.

When Severus finished, Malfoy turned to Voldemort and bowed his head. 'It would be an honour, my Lord, to serve you in this way,' he said smoothly.

'Good. Then there is no need for further delay. The sooner Severus is in place, the sooner we can start to crack Dumbledore's hold on this country.' Voldemort raised his hand to dismiss them. Severus took a deep breath, knowing it was now or never.

'My Lord? May I make a request of You?' His voice shook a little. Voldemort made a slight movement of his head in ascent. Severus swallowed hard and ploughed on. 'Some time ago, my Lord, You told me You would arrange for me to have a woman – any woman I wanted.'

The Dark Lord's lips curled into an ugly smile. 'So I did. So tell me, Severus, have you found time to fall in love amidst all the excitement of recent events?'

'Not fall in love, exactly, my Lord. But I have been thinking… My Lord, the mudblood woman whose child you seek – the Potter woman.' He could hardly bring himself to refer to Lily that way, and the revulsion in his voice wasn't faked as a result. 'I… she is married to my enemy. Potter. I have hated him from the moment we met. I would very much like… I would very much like to take her… to have her. When he is dead.'

Lucius made a noise of horror and stared at Severus. His eyes screamed, _Are you mad? _But Voldemort, after a very dangerous pause, began to laugh, a soft and sinister chuckle. 'Oh Severus, dirty blood will always out. Your genes betray you, my friend, causing you to desire such a woman.' He flicked his wand and an image of Lily appeared in the air between them, rotating slowly. Another tiny movement and the clothes vanished. Severus stared at the naked Lily in sickened confusion, until he could bear it no longer and looked away.

'I am sorry, my Lord!' he choked, wondering if he had gone too far.

'She is not without her charms, I suppose,' Voldemort said. 'What do you think, Lucius?'

'My Lord?' spluttered Lucius. 'My Lord, she is a mudblood!'

'Come now Lucius, have you never desired a woman on her physical merits alone? Have you never had your way with a Muggle? You would not be the only Death Eater to do so.' Voldemort's tone was mocking.

Severus knew Lucius was blushing without looking at him. 'Perhaps the lower ranks… but not I. I could no more feel desire for such creatures than I could for a… a hippogriff, or a bowtruckle!'

'Ah, Lucius, Lucius, my fine young friend. Do you know, I actually believe you? But then of course, you have such a lovely young wife. Narcissa, isn't it?' His wand didn't move, but the image of Lily became one of Narcissa, equally naked. 'Still, maybe Severus has a point. After all, no pureblooded woman would consider him. I can't imagine you have any fear of the delightful Narcissa running off with your friend here.'

Lucius was so tense that Severus could feel it coming off him in waves. He knew his friends' hands would be clenched, his teeth also. He'd be lucky if Lucius was still speaking to him after this, much less prepared to run him as a spy. Voldemort, of course, was enjoying it all greatly. The Dark Lord went on, 'It is one thing to desire her, Severus. And I understand the attraction of such a woman, for isn't the possession of one's enemy always the most deeply coveted? But I cannot condone, for example, you having children with this woman.'

'Children!' exclaimed Severus, his first truly honest reaction of the day. 'My Lord, I _hate_ children.'

At this Voldemort laughed louder, and the image of Narcissa vanished. 'What a wonderful candidate you are for a teaching post!' The laughter died. 'Very well. If I am able to spare this woman, then I will do so. But my paramount concern is the removal of her brat, this prophesised child. I will not jeopardise that. If it is possible, and if you are successful in your mission to spy on Dumbledore, I shall perhaps reward you with this mudblood you desire.'

'My Lord, You are too gracious, too kind!' exclaimed Severus, jumping to his feet in order to prostate himself at those of Voldemort.

'I make no promises. Now, remain still whilst I place the enchantments we discussed.' Severus stayed on the ground whilst Voldemort muttered the words of numerous incantations over him. Severus could feel the magic permeating him like a tingly numbness. His head felt rather fuzzy. Eventually Voldemort said, 'It is done. You may rise.'

He got to his feet, blinking and befuddled. Voldemort smiled. 'You will feel a little disorientated, but that will pass. The enchantments are strong. Now, you may both leave.'

Backing out with a spinning head was not easy, and Severus almost tripped over several times. Lucius, walking beside him, did nothing to steady him. Outside the church, Lucius grabbed Severus with such suddenness that he didn't even have time go for his wand, and disapparated. Severus was still reeling when they landed in the lane outside Malfoy Manor, and Lucius pinned him against the hedge. 'What the hell are you playing at? Since when did you keep your brain below your belt?' he asked, emphasising his words with a knee to Severus' crotch.

Seeing even more stars, Severus managed to gasp around the pain, 'It's Potter, you don't understand…'

'It's nothing to do with Potter!' spat Lucius. 'You've always had a thing about that mudblood, right from when we were at school. It was funny, back then, but it isn't funny now! You're old enough to know better!'

'I just want to teach him a lesson!' said Severus, his voice rather higher than usual.

'By getting involved with his Muggle wife? How can you bear to even think of such a thing?' Lucius sounded quite hysterical. 'She's the one, isn't she? She's the one you nearly killed yourself over?'

'I was trying to stop liking her, I was trying to take away the feelings! Lucius, I'm sorry! I didn't know what to do. I just… I don't know what I want. Does it matter? Dumbledore will almost certainly catch me, and then I'll end up in Azkaban anyway.'

'You idiot,' said Lucius, but the anger was fading from his voice, and he loosened his grip on Severus' robes. 'I will never understand you, if I live to be a thousand! You're by far the stupidest genius I've ever met.' He moved away shaking his head, and touched his wand to the Manor gates, pulling Severus through them after him. 'You've really done it this time. Look what a mess you've got yourself into. How the hell am I going to get you out of this one?'

Severus felt relief that at least Lucius seemed to be talking in terms of them still being a team. 'I don't need to get out of it. I can manage it, Lucius. It's barely different to how we originally planned it. I go and teach at Hogwarts, and pass any information on Dumbledore that I pick up back to our side, via you. It's no different to how you run your spy within the Order. I believe I can do it, Lucius. I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise. I'm not suicidal. I know what I'm doing. And as for the mudblood, if the Dark Lord spares her, I'll be discreet. Very discreet.'

'You fool, the Dark Lord isn't going to spare her. And even if he did, how are you going to explain that away whilst maintaining your cover? Unless things have changed radically since I was at school, I'm fairly sure teachers aren't allowed to keep Dumbledore's favourite mudbloods prisoner in their rooms.'

'I wouldn't be keeping her prisoner!' exclaimed Severus, horrified at the thought.

'Oh yes, I suppose once her husband and son are dead through your actions, she's going to be just delighted to take up with you instead!' Lucius began to laugh, then stopped abruptly when he saw Severus' face. 'Oh my… You actually do believe that, don't you? You actually think that's going to happen.' He swore softly, shaking his head. 'Oh Severus, you really are hopeless.'

Lucius took a pace forwards. 'Listen to me. Little Lily Mudblood is never going to like you, Severus. She is never going to be attracted to you, or think kindly of you. She is never going to forgive you. She will only ever hate you. Do you understand that?'

Severus was unable to nod, not wanting to allow Lucius' words to sink in, even though he knew they were true. His friend went on, 'You are a big part of the reason her son is going to be killed. No matter what else you do, nothing will ever compensate for that. Believe me. Things cannot ever end the way you want them to. Now you've gone and put your life on the line – and mine too – for some stupid dream that only someone as socially idiotic as you could possibly have ever believed for a moment.'

'She might… if I save her…' stuttered Severus, still unwilling to let the idea go.

'No! Read my lips. She. Will. Never. Forgive. You. You don't have a child, you don't understand, but I do. Forget her. She is nothing, no one! Who is the only person in your life that has never let you down? That has bailed you out of trouble time and again, fed and clothed and sheltered you, got you out of every stupid scrape you've got into? Who, Severus?'

'You… you are.'

'Exactly. I am. So maybe it's time you started getting your priorities right! After everything I've done for you, you'd still put me and my family at risk just for some ridiculous fantasy about a horrible jumped up little mudblood! Because if you go down, you'll almost certainly take me with you.'

'I would never betray you!' exclaimed Severus, stung. 'Even if you don't believe me, I can't, remember? The Dark Lord's enchantments.'

'We're too closely associated,' he said, shaking his head. 'If they catch you, they'll look at me next, for sure. I can't believe you didn't think about me when you were hatching this crazy little plan of yours! But oh no, you were only thinking about getting your hands on that mudblood! Me, Narcissa, Draco… you could have just condemned us all.'

'I haven't, I wouldn't! It _will _work, Lucius. I've never failed you yet, have I? And I'll maintain my friendship with you, so it will look even more like you're all right – someone who isn't involved with the Death Eaters. Lucius, you're my best friend, you're like a brother to me. I'd never do anything to hurt you, never!'

Lucius gave a heavy sigh. 'Not intentionally, but you can be far too clever for your own good. From now on you tell me the truth about things. No matter how embarrassing. I thought you'd learned by now that without my help, you make a total mess of everything. I can't help you if you don't let me, Severus, and the stakes are too high for you to get this wrong.'

Chastened, Severus nodded. 'All right. I'll forget her. And I'll be careful. Really really careful.'

'You better had be. And next time you start thinking about that mudblood, for goodness sake take a cold shower.' Lucius turned on his heel and strode off towards the house, leaving Severus to disapparate home. He blocked out Lucius' words. He wasn't going to believe them, he couldn't believe them. What would Lucius understand of Lily's thoughts and feelings anyway? They were as different as chalk and cheese. The only thing they had in common was Severus' friendship, and he was increasingly realising that ultimately he was always going to have to choose between them.

A week later, Severus stood on the place where the Pillar of Storge had once stood, now a bleak and scarred moor. It was a terrible night, the wind screaming around him. Severus was very, very scared. He wasn't even sure if Dumbledore would come, or if a squad of Aurors would arrive instead. This was different from parleying on behalf of Voldemort, where the rules of engagement were reasonably clear, where you knew the Dark Lord would be able to back you up. His palms sweated, his fingers tingled, his heart clenched again and again. His breathing was ragged. He spun round and round on the spot, unsure of where Dumbledore would appear from. He was so skittish that he almost apparated accidentally several times.

This suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea. He had no doubt that Dumbledore was just as ruthless as the Dark Lord, beneath the jolly exterior. These could be his last moments of freedom, before he was dragged away to the horrors of Azkaban. He couldn't even commit suicide, as he knew he had to stay alive to try and help Lily. The realisation that Lily's survival was more important to him than his own brought home the reality of just how high the stakes really were for him.

His wand was ripped from his hand as Dumbledore appeared, and he dropped instinctively to his knees. 'Don't kill me!' he shrieked, terrified that Dumbledore was going to do just that before Severus even had a chance to beg for Lily's life.

'That was not my intention,' replied Dumbledore, coldly. 'Well, Severus, what message does Lord Voldemort have for me?'

Severus tried to gather his wits. He wasn't dead, which was a good sign, and there were no Aurors as yet. But Dumbledore had his wand, and without it he felt naked and helpless. 'No - no message – I am here on my own account!' he gasped. 'I… I come with a warning – no, a request – please-'

Dumbledore's face remained stony, but he moved his wand and an unnatural stillness fell around them, insulating them from the raging storm. A tiny spark of hope kindled in Severus. 'What request could a Death Eater make of me?' asked the Headmaster.

'The – the prophecy… the prediction – Trelawney,' began Severus, struggling to get his words out in the face of Dumbledore.

'Ah yes. How much of it did you relay to Lord Voldemort?' enquired Dumbledore.

'Everything – everything I heard!' he wailed, for there was no point in trying to hide it now. 'That is why – it is for that reason - He thinks it means Lily Evans!'

'The prophecy did not refer to a woman, it spoke of a boy, born at the end of July.'

'You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, He is going to hunt her down – kill them all,' the words stuck in his throat as he was struck again by the horror of it all.

But Dumbledore still seemed impassive. 'If she means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?' His voice had a mocking edge which didn't augur well.

'I have – I have asked,' he began, but Dumbledore cut him off.

'You disgust me,' he said, contempt in every one of the deep lines of his ancient face. 'You do not care then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?'

Severus stared up at the great wizard, lost for words. How could he even begin to explain the mess of conflicting emotion inside him? Every bit of his emotional energy, all of his considerable mental resources, was focussed on saving Lily. He hadn't really thought either way about Potter or the baby. It would be pointless to ask Voldemort to spare the boy, anyway. And he certainly wasn't going to plead with the Dark Lord for Potter's life. But if Dumbledore could save them all, then why not? As long as Lily was safe, that was all that mattered. 'Hide them all, then. Keep her – them – safe. Please.'

'And what will you give me in return, Severus?' asked Dumbledore, staring at him in an appraising way.

Of course, Severus might have guessed Dumbledore would name a price. He could call the old man's bluff, on the basis that surely Dumbledore would try to keep them safe anyway. But he knew he couldn't risk it. It was like playing Russian roulette with Lily's life – the life he'd already endangered so terribly. 'In – in return?' he echoed. His mind worked overtime. What payment would Dumbledore extract from him? Eventually he simply said, 'Anything.'

Dumbledore stared hard at him, and he stared back, opening his mind, pushing away every barrier he'd placed there. He wanted Dumbledore to see inside him now, and know he was telling the truth. He repeated, 'I'd do anything to keep her alive, to keep her safe. I don't want her to die. If it means Potter has to live, so be it. I'd rather she was alive and with him, than… than…' he couldn't bring himself to even say the word 'dead'.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Dumbledore nodded. 'Very well. It so happens I sorely need a spy within Voldemort's camp. Someone who can pass me information, and perhaps pass back disinformation to Voldemort. Now, I know you have been trying to seek a teaching position at Hogwarts for some time, presumably on Voldemort's orders?'

Severus nodded, not surprised at the turn the conversation had taken. After all, what else did he have to offer? 'He wants me to spy on you. At first we thought I could just get a job, but of course you saw through that. So now I have told Him I will pretend to switch sides. That is what He thinks I am doing tonight.'

'So he thinks you are spying for him, and I think you are spying for me.' Dumbledore laughed quietly. 'One of us is very badly mistaken.' The old man's eyes bored into him.

Casting around desperately for some way to prove himself, he suddenly hit on it. 'Give me my wand back, and I will prove it.'

The Headmaster considered this, and then produced the wand from an inner pocket. Severus wondered how it had got there. 'You may have it back, but I might take this opportunity to remind you of who you are dealing with. I may be old, but I am fast.'

'I'm not going to hurt you,' snapped Severus, snatching back his wand. He turned slightly away from Dumbledore, drew deep inside himself, and cast one of the most difficult charms he knew. '_Expecto Patronum!' _A silvery-blue deer leapt from his wand tip and skipped away from him, sniffing the air curiously. It approached Dumbledore and looked up at him, before vanishing into nothing. 'It's the same as hers,' explained Severus, looking hard at Dumbledore. Surely the old man would realise this was something that couldn't be faked.

Eventually Dumbledore said, 'I do believe you, Severus.'

He breathed a quick sigh of relief. 'I don't really want to spy for you, and I'll probably end up dead within weeks, but if that's what it will take to keep Lily safe then I'll do it. Just… if I do fail and die, you must continue to protect her.'

'Very well. You will spy for me. We will meet clandestinely. You will advise me of the plans of the Death Eaters, as far as you know them. I want to know everything, no matter how trivial. In return I will give Lily and her family every protection I can. Tell me, what makes you think I wouldn't have done so anyway?'

He eyed Dumbledore carefully. 'I never assume anything,' he said eventually. 'I need to be part of it. I need to _know_.'

'Of course, there's the question of his formidable legilimency, but I think you already have considerable proficiency in occlumency?'

'I'm good,' admitted Severus. 'Very good. Maybe not good enough. No one ever lies to him outright, unless you count flattery. You would have to be mad. But that will work in our favour, because no expects it. Of all the things they fear, traitors within – at least in the inner circle – are not one of them.' All the same, he shuddered at the thought of lying to Voldemort day after day.

'Let us hope for both our sakes then that you can fool him. And Severus, be warned that I shall expect absolute loyalty from you. If I have any suspicion that you are working for anything other than the best interests of the fight against Voldemort, I shall have to revise my decision. Of course, it has crossed my mind many times that it may be beneficial for Voldemort to meet this boy – this prophesised boy. That it may lead to his downfall. Not a pleasant thought, but sometimes the benefits for the whole outweigh the cost to the few…' He let his words trail off, all the time watching Severus closely. The threat hung implicit in the air between them.

'I'll do whatever it takes,' Severus repeated. 'I'll be loyal to you. I'll do what you say. Just remember I'll need to keep my cover, that's all.'

'That is understood.' Dumbledore withdrew his own wand and nodded to Severus. 'You will hear from me in due course.'

'What if I need to contact you?'

'Send your patronus with a message. It is a complex set of spells, but someone of your talents shouldn't have any difficulty. I believe the book you need is _Cadwallader's Compendium of Complex Charms. _Good evening.' Dumbledore flicked his cloak and was instantly gone, leaving Severus alone and more confused than ever.

Author's notes

It is up to the preferences of individual readers whether they take Dumbledore's threat seriously or not. It always interested me that Severus assumed he would have to plead for Dumbledore to protect the Potters. Dumbledore must have found some way to keep Severus believing there was a real danger that he might not protect them, in order to keep Severus loyal. So if you like Dumbledore and don't want to think of him negatively, you could consider this a simple lie for the sake of keeping Severus compliant. The Dumbledore we see in Severus' flashbacks is a great deal harder and more antagonistic than the one Harry sees - I was surprised by how much so when I re-read those sections to write this fic. Personally I like a darker (but not actually evil) characterisation of Dumbledore, which is more fun to write and makes it easier to explain some of the things we see in canon. I also think it fits with canon Dumbledore, particularly when viewed from Severus' perspective. But I try to leave enough ambiguity for readers to interpret in the way that suits them. The timing of the scene with Dumbledore and Severus is summer, see the A/Ns on last chapter for my rationale for the timing. The terrible weather described in canon may suggest a winter or autumn timeframe, but I've just experienced another miserable British summer and can assure readers it is entirely possible to get weather that bad in summer. I believe early summer (about June) is the only logical time for this to have happened, based on the other information. Thanks as always to readers and reviewers, it's great to know people are enjoying the story.


	14. Chapter 14 Severus the Professor

Chapter 14 – Severus the Professor

The Shrieking Shack was not the nicest place to hold a rendez-vous. It held particularly bad memories for Severus, as well as a funny smell. The furniture was in such a mess he'd conjured a chair for himself, but was too keyed up to sit on it. Instead he paced, hands tapping meaningless rhythms on his thighs, toes scuffing the inch thick grey dust of the floor.

Finally he heard the sounds of someone approaching. 'I thought you were never coming!' he exclaimed by way of greeting as Dumbledore entered the room.

'Patience, my dear Severus, is a virtue,' said the old man, glancing around. 'I had to be sure I wasn't followed. It wouldn't do for Lord Voldemort to know that we are meeting.'

Severus winced at the sound of the name and glanced around him. 'Don't say it!'

'Fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself,' said Dumbledore wisely, waving his wand to conjure a squashy armchair.

Those words reminded Severus of someone else quoting them at him. 'How is Lily? Is Lily safe?' he asked.

'Quite safe, though of course I can't tell you exactly where or how. She's a little frustrated to be shut up and away from the front line, but having a baby is plenty to keep anyone occupied. I gather that little Harry is pulling himself up to standing.'

But Severus hadn't heard anything past the information about Lily. For all he cared, her baby could have sprouted wings. It didn't matter as long as she was safe. Then he remembered why he'd come, and started to pace again. 'Dumbledore, there's been a change of plan. Tomorrow night, they're doing it in Birmingham, not London. When your Order people turn up, all they'll find is A-squad's finest lying in wait.'

Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment. 'Our spy has struck again. And we're no closer to finding out who it is.'

'I've told you who was being targeted and we both know that person is dangerous…'

'Severus, I am well aware of your theory about Sirius Black and I do consider the possibility. But there is no evidence, and for all that he is reckless, I doubt that Sirius is treacherous. He threw away an awful lot when he left his family, and he did that out of conviction. For him to have suddenly turned all that around…'

'We only assume he did it out of conviction. Perhaps it was all a ruse…'

'A ruse that began when he was sorted into Gryffindor at age eleven? No. Had Sirius undergone a sudden conversion at age seventeen or eighteen, then I'd be prepared to consider that possibility. But not as things are. No, there are any number of people that it could be, even though I hate to think it of any of them.' Dumbledore shook his head and began to pace angrily. 'It is becoming near impossible to do anything! The Order is stymied, completely stymied.'

But Severus wasn't interested in the Order's operational difficulties; his concern was for one thing and one thing only. 'Dumbledore, do members of the Order know where Lily is? You must make sure they don't know! We can't afford the spy telling the Dark Lord.'

'They have been in their current location for some time, if the spy was aware he or she would surely have told Voldemort by now. I can move them again, but every time I do so it exposes them to risk. They are safe enough where they are for now.'

'_Safe enough_? What does that mean? She needs to be entirely safe, Dumbledore, entirely safe!'

'She will never be entirely safe, Severus, thanks to you telling Voldemort that prophecy. We can only do our best, and it is getting increasingly difficult as Voldemort's power and grip on the country increase.'

The two men glowered at each other, then Severus drew his cloak around him and moved for the door. 'I have to go.'

'Very well. But Severus, I need you closer to me. These clandestine meetings are a risk to us both. The new school term starts in six weeks' time. Are you still interested in a teaching job?'

He stopped at the entrance and turned back. 'Yes, of course.'

'Good. In that case I shall write to you officially, and you will come to the school for an interview. Thereafter you can live here, and it will be easier for us to meet.'

'The Dark Lord will expect intelligence on you in return,' Severus warned.

'That can be arranged. Misinformation is a useful weapon in itself.' Dumbledore turned away, and then called him back. 'And Severus? Thank you, for telling me about tomorrow night. You have saved many lives.'

Severus gave a curt nod. 'Just keep Lily safe,' he said in parting, and strode away down the tunnel to the Whomping Willow.

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'This is excellent news indeed, Severus! You start in September?' Voldemort didn't smile in the same way a normal person did, but he looked pleased nonetheless.

'Yes, my Lord. September the first.' Severus held Voldemort's gaze calmly with his own.

'But something troubles you, Severus? You are unhappy?' Voldemort's eyes glittered.

'I am most happy, my Lord, to be able to serve you in this way,' said Severus, allowing the clouds of the lie to appear within his brain.

Voldemort laughed. 'Do not lie to me Severus. The Dark Lord knows – he always knows! What is it that troubles you?'

'It is nothing, my Lord. A mere trifle of no relevance to our noble cause.' He paused, and when Voldemort did not speak, he went on. 'I had rather hoped to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. But as I say, it makes no difference to my usefulness to you as a spy.'

'Do not worry, young Severus.' Voldemort reached out with long, thin fingers and curled them under Severus' chin, causing nervous impulses of revulsion to shoot along his spine. 'Dumbledore's days are numbered. If you serve me well, when I have finally got rid of him, you shall teach whatever you wish to teach. I will even make you Headmaster, if that is what you desire.'

A rush of excitement at the thought of such a prestigious appointment raced through Severus. 'My Lord, such an honour is beyond my wildest dreams.'

'Start dreaming more wildly then, my young friend. With Lord Voldemort, anything is possible. Those who please me will be rewarded, and those who displease me punished, in ways they could not have conceived. You have done well, very well. Now, our contact should be limited. I will cease summoning you to meetings of the inner circle, but you should stay in regular contact with Lucius.'

'Yes, my Lord.' Severus bowed his head to the table, and the meeting moved on to other matters.

Lucius was not as unequivocally pleased as Voldemort. 'This still seems like a damned big risk,' he said later that evening back at Malfoy Manor, staring musingly into the fire.

'I've met with Dumbledore several times now and he's seen nothing. The scrutiny is unlikely to ever be more intense than during those first meetings. He believes I wish to leave the Death Eaters, and that I will do so when I start at the school in September. Being at Hogwarts will help keep me safe from reprisals.'

'Do not fall into a false sense of security, Severus. Dumbledore is unlikely to stop watching you, even if he has so far been convinced enough to give you a job. He is manipulative and clever, remember that. I believe he watches everyone, far more closely than they realise. There is a reason that he is the main sticking point in the Dark Lord's plans. A man who is a worthy opponent of the Dark Lord is a dangerous man indeed. Don't be fooled by his kindly old Headmaster act.'

As always when faced with one of Lucius' lectures, Severus had to suppress an itch of irritation. 'I know, Lucius, I don't underestimate Dumbledore. But so far, I have succeeded in convincing him. That has to be something.'

'Once you're there, at Hogwarts, no one will be able to come to your aid. You know that, don't you? You will be right inside the enemy's camp, and if it goes wrong…' Lucius did not finish the sentence.

'I know the risks, Lew. But if I succeed, the rewards will be massive. We gain power all the time, it will not be long before even Dumbledore falls. I only have to keep it up until then. And then we will be rewarded.'

But Lucius still looked troubled as he rose to refill their glasses. He rested a heavy hand on Severus' shoulder for a minute. 'Just be careful, old bean,' he said quietly. 'I'd hate for anything to happen to you.'

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'These will be your rooms; as you can see, they're more than adequately spacious.' Minerva McGonagall indicated a door leading off the bedsitting room. 'En suite facilities are through there. There is a hidden doorway to your office that opens here.' She showed him a bookshelf, which swung aside at a touch from her wand to show the office that Severus had always known as Slughorn's.

'It all seems very… comfortable,' he said, never much of a one for small talk.

'Of course, you can add… personal touches, as you wish,' said McGonagall, with an expression that suggested she was unlikely to approve of any personal touches Severus might add.

'Yes,' he responded, still looking around the room and trying to get used to the fact that this was to be his home.

'If we go through to your office, I will take you through the administrative paperwork. Class lists, registers, curricula. Then there is a staff meeting at half past two. Of course, you will be familiar with many of the teachers from your own time here, but there have been some new additions. And then I will take you through the security protocols. I hardly need to tell you the dangers of the current climate.'

Severus trailed after McGonagall, trying to summon up some enthusiasm for his new life as Potions master and Head of Slytherin. So far it was all rules and regulations, rotas and timetables and boring procedures that he had to remember to follow. He'd had no idea that being a teacher was such hard work. It had never looked it when he'd been a student. No wonder Slughorn had decided to retire, although he had a feeling that had more to do with the increasing number of ex-Slug Clubbers who'd been confirmed as Death Eaters than the workload.

Perhaps if he'd been appointed to the DADA post he would have felt more excited about the prospect. Whilst he was very well qualified to teach Potions, it did not hold the same fascination and allure as the Dark Arts did. He actually felt quite inspired about the thought of creating lessons on how to understand the Dark Arts. Whereas Potions simply involved telling students to make a particular concoction, and supervising whilst they did so.

One thing he'd noticed very soon after arriving at Hogwarts was that his Dark Mark wasn't functioning as effectively as it usually did. There was static across it that prevented him from speaking with his fellow Death Eaters. It would be the magical defences in place around Hogwarts, he was sure. It emphasised the sense of vulnerability and isolation. Lucius was right. No one would come to his aid here.

He tried to pay attention whilst McGonagall went on about the proper process to follow in the event of a student injuring themselves. But all the time in the back of his mind the same worry nagged at him. Where was Lily? Was she safe? He could never rid himself entirely of the thought that any given moment might be the one Voldemort discovered her whereabouts and finished her off. All he could do was play his miserable part in the spying charade and hope it was enough to keep Lily safe.

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'… so moronic, Lucius, you wouldn't believe it! If one more snivelling little whelp spills newt parts over me, I swear I'll hex them into next week. Except of course you're not allowed to do that. Oh no. The miserable cretins can practically decimate the entire room and the most you can do is give them detention. Detention!' Severus sniffed dramatically. 'If they'd only let us hand out proper punishments maybe then we'd see some discipline.'

Lucius seemed vaguely amused by Severus' tirade. 'Glad to hear you're enjoying your new job,' he said with a smirk, then became serious. 'But what of Dumbledore? Do you think he suspects?'

'I doubt it; I've hardly seen him to speak to. McGonagall is a bit sniffy, but that's to be expected, she's a member of the Foolish after all.'

'Hmmm…' Lucius frowned deeply. 'About that… I have an idea that might help your credibility amongst the staff. I think we should arrange for you to be attacked.'

'Attacked?' Severus looked at him in alarm.

'Yes. Couple of stalwarts in full regalia, grab you in Hogsmeade or London or somewhere, fake a bit of a fight, you get away with a couple of minor injuries. It might help sway those who doubt the veracity of your conversion.'

Severus could see all sorts of potential flaws in that plan. 'I'm not sure – what if they get carried away?'

'We'll use people we can rely on, don't worry. Besides, you're a formidable dueller.' Seeing the look of continued scepticism on Severus' face he sighed. 'Listen, I'll tell you what. I'll put a couple of nobodies under Imperius and control them myself. Would that help?'

'Yes,' he agreed dubiously. 'I suppose so. If it's what He wants.' A thought struck him. 'We're supposed to be going to the Three Broomsticks for a drink on Friday night. It's Flitwick's birthday. Perhaps you could have them attack me there. That would give plenty of witnesses. It wouldn't matter if they got caught, if you're going to use Imperius.'

'Excellent, that's agreed then. Now, what about Dumbledore? What information have you managed to gather?' Lucius leant forwards eagerly, a quill and parchment appearing in his hand by magic.

'He usually sleeps in the castle – at least, he's almost always there at breakfast. He often misses lunches and dinnertimes, though there is no particular pattern. Neither he nor McGonagall are there on Wednesday nights, which points to the Order having meetings then. He has visitors, I've made a list of those I know of.' He handed over a piece of parchment covered in his crabbed handwriting. 'He uses the portraits in his office to gain intelligence from around the country – the past headteachers. When you think it through, they provide quite a network.'

Lucius looked alarmed. 'Indeed. A clever way of keeping informed. It would explain a couple of things we've wondered about. I'll have to take more care at the Ministry, and make sure Rookwood is aware. How does Dumbledore seem, in himself? His morale, his health?'

'Health wise he seems the same as always. As for morale… it is hard to tell. He is always very calm, he never overtly shows signs of being afraid or hopeless. Many of the staff are anxious, of course, but no more so than anyone is these days. There are far fewer students than there were in our day, perhaps only forty or fifty per year group. I suppose it's where so many have fled the country or been killed. If anything…' he stopped.

'What?' asked Lucius impatiently. 'If anything, what?'

'If anything, the percentage of mudbloods has gone up since the war, rather than down. Those students who have died or escaped are those of wizard heritage. The mudbloods, not knowing the dangers, still come.'

His friend's face contorted, but he recovered himself quickly. Severus could almost see the curtains close across Lucius' mind as he refused to let himself face the truth. 'That is regrettable, but temporary. When we have won, we will eliminate the mudbloods, and then there will be plenty of time to rebuild the country with fine wizards, those who are fit to bear the name.'

Severus rose to leave. Now was not the time for a philosophical discussion about whether they had chosen the right path or not. 'I daren't stay too late. I wouldn't want to arouse suspicion.'

Lucius showed him to the fireplace, handed him the bag of floo powder. Just as Severus was about to throw a handful of the dust and follow it into the flames, Lucius spoke again. 'Remember what I said. Don't get complacent. Watch your back.'

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Severus entered the office and walked across to the chair which Dumbledore pushed back with a flick of his wand. He settled himself, wincing slightly. 'Bearing up, are you?' asked Dumbledore, nodding towards Severus' left arm which was heavily bandaged in a sling across his chest.

'It's fine. A day or two more and it should be completely healed.'

'That was an impressive piece of theatre you and your friends put on. I am almost sorry I did not get to witness it myself. Your colleagues were most taken in by it.' Dumbledore spoke lightly but his face was hard as stone.

'The Dark Lord fears that you will see through my 'story'. He thought it might aid your credulity if I were to suffer a little at the hands of the Death Eaters. I did not expect him to be quite so… convincing.' He winced slightly and made a mental note to shove Lucius hard when he next saw him. That curse had seriously hurt.

'And endangering the lives of your colleagues? Was that all part of the plan?'

'No.' He scowled at Dumbledore. 'What's the problem? She wasn't hurt, was she? I jumped in front of her. And before you ask, no it wasn't choreographed. That's probably why it was so convincing. He knows me too well…'

'You have a surprising tendency for heroics, that is true. But in future I expect you tell me everything, Severus. If Lord Voldemort has any more stunts planned then I do not want to find out about them in retrospect from an over-excited and blood-splattered Filius Flitwick.'

'It was _my_ blood,' pointed out Severus sullenly.

'And those two luckless young men whom my staff are so proud to have overcome, who are now languishing in Azkaban? What of them? Are they even Death Eaters?' Dumbledore's eyes bored into his, but Severus knew he would see no more than Severus chose to show.

'I don't know.' He gave a shrug. 'Does it matter?'

'To them and their families it matters greatly, I would imagine. Whether or not they were ever Death Eaters, they have been imprisoned for a crime that they almost certainly committed only under the influence of the Imperius curse.'

'Well? If you're so convinced of their innocence, why don't you get them out of Azkaban?' snapped Severus. He was sick of Dumbledore's holier than thou attitude.

Dumbledore's hand came down on the desk with surprising force, causing all the candles in the room to stream black for a second. For a moment, he looked as frightening as Voldemort ever had. 'Do not forget who is in the debt of whom here, Severus,' he said, in a voice that resonated unnaturally. 'We had a deal that I would keep Lily Potter safe, in return for your absolute loyalty. Give me one reason to think you are not acting in the interests of my cause, and I will have to rethink my strategy around the prophesised boys.'

Shaken, although trying very hard not to show it, Severus managed to lift his chin defiantly and maintain eye contact. Dumbledore continued, 'There are several options I could explore, for the greater good of course. I could, for example, eliminate the parents and take the boy for my own, teach him all I know and raise him to fulfil his destiny. Or I could simply let Voldemort find them, and see what transpires. I could do both even – there are two boys who fit the criteria after all.'

'You wouldn't,' whispered Severus, his voice unsteady.

'Try me,' answered Dumbledore. 'You cannot take that risk, and you know it.'

He broke first. 'All right! Everything, from now on.'

Dumbledore leaned back and smiled, suddenly all twinkly again. 'Excellent. Now, how are finding your teaching duties?'

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It was Halloween. The Great Hall was filled with floating pumpkins, live bats flitting between them. Students were already making their way down to the feast, chattering excitably. Severus and Dumbledore, however, were upstairs in the latter's study. Severus paced the floor, driven into constant motion by his anxiety. Dumbledore remained seated at his desk, quite calm.

'Seconds! Seconds, Dumbledore! Another five and the Dark Lord would have had them! I can't believe you didn't tell me…'

'The deal is that _you_ tell _me_ everything. It does not work in both directions.' Dumbledore seemed to soften a little at the sight of Severus. 'And besides, what good would telling you have done? You are close enough to a nervous breakdown as it is, Severus, without knowing that. The important thing is that they survived.'

'For how long!? Until the next time he tracks her down…'

'I don't think that is likely. This time I have used a completely different method to hide them. An obscure and complex charm that will not yield its secrets so easily. The Fidelius Charm.'

Severus stopped pacing and stared at Dumbledore. 'Fidelius? The one with a secret keeper?'

Dumbledore beamed as though at a particularly bright and promising student. 'Ah, Severus, I forget how phenomenally well-read you are, especially for one so young. Indeed, the one with the secret keeper. So no matter how many people know the location of the Potters, unless the secret keeper themselves gives the location to Voldemort, they cannot be harmed.'

'Who is this secret keeper?' demanded Severus, paling as his thoughts caught up. 'Oh no! Please, Dumbledore tell me it isn't Black! Tell me it isn't him!'

'Very well, it isn't him,' said Dumbledore, with an added twinkle.

Pacing again, Severus snapped, 'You're just saying that! You're saying it because I asked you to say it, not because it is true!'

'The conversation is at an end, Severus. We have a feast to get to.' Dumbledore rose to his feet, but Severus paid no heed, sliding down against the wall and coming to a stop on the floor with his head in his hands.

'This is killing me,' he whispered. 'Every day, every minute, wondering! Not knowing. I can't bear it.'

'Well, bear it you must, Severus. I know it is hard for you, but you should remember of whose making this situation is. Lily herself isn't having the easiest time in the world, and she is entirely innocent of blame. Yet I never hear her complaining.' He stood looking down at the younger man for a minute more. 'Take your time to pull yourself together, and then come down to the feast. I expect to see you there, Severus.' He turned and walked out.

For minutes more Severus remained motionless. Tears soaked through the sleeves of his robes. After a while, Dumbledore's phoenix fluttered from its perch and landed next to the curled up figure. It nudged up to him, resting its big scarlet head against his arm. After a moment, Severus reached out and put his arms around it. He felt a little odd to be hugging a bird, but something about its solid, warm body was comforting.

'I know she wouldn't complain,' he told the bird. 'She never would, that's just like Lily. I don't need Dumbledore to tell me I'm not as good as she is. I know I'm nothing, nothing compared to her! Remembering what I've done to her only makes me feel worse! I wish I could make things all right. I'd do anything, anything! If only I could just die and make it better that way. But me dying won't help, so I must go on in this… this awful limbo, and all the time never knowing if even that will be enough.'

The phoenix gave a low call, as though it was agreeing with him. It continued to make throbbing, musical sounds in its throat. A strange sensation spread through Severus, a warmth that he usually experienced only when he was with Lily. The parts of him that had felt empty and hopeless seemed filled with light, and suddenly he found he had the courage to go on after all. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and petted the bird's neck. 'Thank you, Fawkes.' He got to his feet. 'I should go to the feast. Dumbledore is expecting me.'

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After the phoenix's song, Severus felt a greater peace within him than he had for many weeks. He ate more than usual at the feast, and even managed to laugh at some of the banter around the staff table. When he went to bed he lay awake for less time than usual, and he used the time to fill his head with all his happiest memories of Lily. She seemed clearer in his mind than she had for a long time, and once again he entertained his favourite hopes of reconciliation. There was time. There was still a chance for them.

The pain in his Mark jerked him awake at some point in the night. It was intense, terrible, and he clasped at his forearm with his other hand as tightly as he could. He heard himself screaming. Then, awful as it had been, just as suddenly it was gone. He slumped onto his bed, semi-conscious, and it was some time before he felt well enough to move again.

When he did, he rolled up the flannel sleeve of his nightshirt, and examined the pale skin of his forearm in the candlelight. His heart seemed to skip a beat. The flesh of his arm was pale and smooth, with just the faintest suggestion of scarring above the wrist.

The skull and snake motif that had been burned there for the last three years was no longer visible. His Dark Mark had gone.

Author's notes

Timescale - so Severus 'converts' in late summer, passes information on an informal basis until autumn. This tallies with the dates he gives Umbridge in OotP and with Sirius not having realised Severus taught at the school, implying it was relatively recent. As per my previous comments, readers can choose to interpret Dumbledore's threats as they wish - a clever bluff to keep Severus in check or genuine. Two chapters left and then it'll be a wait whilst I finish the sequel, currently 2/3 written (I never start posting before I finish). With much thanks as always to all readers, and especially to reviewers whose comments and encouragement are hugely appreciated.


	15. Chapter 15 Unravelling

Chapter 15 - Unravelling

Severus ran through the corridors, panting his way up the stairs. Only one thought ran through his mind; get to Dumbledore. At the gargoyle he gasped out, 'Fizzing Whizzbees!'

'Calm down, Professor, no need for such a hurry,' it grumbled, as it slid aside. He threw himself on the staircase, and despite the speed with which it carried him upwards, he tried to ascend the stairs all the same.

At the top he hammered on the door, and to his surprise it was opened almost at once by Rubeus Hagrid. What the gamekeeper was doing in Dumbledore's private quarters at that time of night was beyond him, but he didn't have time to wonder. 'Where's Dumbledore?' he shrieked, grabbing the front of Hagrid's robes. He couldn't reach higher than the abdomen.

'I'm right here, Severus,' came Dumbledore's soft voice. 'Rubeus, go now, and quickly. The Muggle repelling charms won't last all night.'

'Right you are, Professor,' rumbled Hagrid, making his way over to the fireplace.

As Dumbledore turned to him, the words spilled out. 'Something's happened, something's wrong. With Him. It's gone, it burned – terrible pain – I passed out, and then I woke, and it was gone.' A flash of green light and a warm rush of air from the corner of the room indicated that Hagrid had left by floo.

'I feared as much,' said Dumbledore grimly, looking at the smooth unbroken skin of Severus' forearm, where not long previously the Dark Mark had been branded.

'What's happened? What could have… the prophecy!' His mind was running so fast, towards a conclusion he didn't want to reach, couldn't bear to reach.

'I don't know, Severus. You are sure the Mark is quite gone?'

'I can't feel it. I used to feel… connected somehow. The Dark Mark isn't a mere tattoo, it's a communication device, it links you to your brother Death Eaters… and to Him. We could pass messages that way. But now there's nothing. What does it mean? Is he dead? Is it over, is it all over at last?' With Voldemort gone, he could live properly again. Lily would be safe, and maybe there would be the chance for her to learn of his heroism. Maybe she would reconsider her old friend. He felt a rush of hope that perhaps he could have a fresh start.

'I don't know yet, Severus. Listen to me. Even if Voldemort is gone, his followers remain a threat, at least initially. Go to your Death Eater colleagues and see if any of them have information. Take as long as you need, but be careful not to raise suspicion. When you are able, return here and report to me. If it is urgent, use your patronus.' He indicated the fireplace. 'I suggest you go by floo to the London hub, then apparate from there. It will be faster than crossing the grounds.'

'But Dumbledore, you must know – you must have some idea…'

'I'll have a much better idea when I have the intelligence you can bring me, Severus. I am leaving right behind you, to ascertain what I can. If Voldemort has fallen, there is much work to be done, and time is of the essence.'

Trembling violently, Severus could hardly give the name of floo hub. He almost fell out at the wrong grate, only just holding himself back. He stumbled out into the sterile brightness of the hub. He had to take several deep breaths to gather his wits before he trusted himself to disapparate.

The lane outside Malfoy Manor was quiet, and the night calm and dark. But when he approached the house he saw lights on, both downstairs and up. Suddenly he was overwhelmed with longing to see his friend.

Narcissa opened the door. She was carrying the baby, who stared witlessly at Severus, a podgy white fist in his mouth. Drool dripped down his plump flannel arm. Narcissa herself was noticeably less well groomed than usual, her face pale and eyes wide. 'I wondered when you'd get here, come in, quick!' she said, pulling the door shut behind him. 'Lucius, Severus is here!'

Lucius appeared in the hallway behind her, dressed in his nightshirt and one of his trademark silk dressing gowns. 'Severus, you too?' he asked, without preamble.

'Yes! A terrible pain, then when I woke, it was gone.' He pulled up his sleeve and displayed his bare arm to Lucius, who did the same. They stared at each other, wide eyed and eloquent with silent despair.

'Does Dumbledore know anything?' asked Lucius, leading the way into the drawing room. Narcissa hovered in the background, fussing unnecessarily with the baby.

'Not that he's telling. I went straight to him – it would have looked suspicious otherwise. He knew something was afoot already, but I don't know what or how. He sent me off to see what intelligence I could gather. Have you heard from anyone else?' He accepted a large measure of whiskey from his friend, and took a sip. The hot liquor burned his throat and he closed his eyes for a moment.

'Walden floo'd almost immediately, and I had to virtually silence him to stop the idiot blurting it all out over the network. I expect he'll turn up any minute. Damn, Severus, what are we going to do? Do you think He's…'

Neither of them dared to say it. 'It might just be the Mark, maybe something's gone wrong with the spell,' said Severus, not sounding convinced.

'Perhaps. Should we go to Headquarters and see?' Lucius had downed all of his drink and was pacing the floor, full of anxious energy totally unlike his usual self.

'No, it's too much of a risk. The place might be booby trapped or anything. We should wait, wait for a sign from Him.'

'But what if it's a test?' gasped Lucius, looking quite demented. 'What if He's testing our loyalty? If we run or hide, He may punish us.'

'If we run around like idiots getting ourselves captured, He'll punish us too,' snapped Severus, rubbing at his arm even though there was nothing there to hurt him.

'Oh Merlin, what are we going to do?' asked Lucius, slumping into an armchair and covering his face with his hands. 'If we get this wrong…'

Narcissa spoke for the first time, to utter words Severus had never thought he'd hear. 'Severus is right, you shouldn't do anything in haste. And stop knocking back the whiskey,' she added sharply, as Lucius made towards the bottle again. 'Getting drunk is certainly not going to help the situation.'

'What was He doing tonight? Where was He going to be? Do we know?' Severus took another sip of the whiskey, letting it give him strength.

Before Lucius could answer, there was a hammering on the door. All three of them jumped and exchanged terrified glances. The baby began to cry. They stared at each other, unsure of what to do, then the sound of the door opening made them jump again. 'Dobby,' cursed Narcissa.

The elf wailed and a moment later Bellatrix Lestrange strode into the room, followed by Roddy and his brother Rabastan. Her hair was wild, her eyes staring, and she brandished her wand. Apparently poor Dobby had experienced her wrath already. 'What's going on? Where is He? Where's the Dark Lord?' screamed Bellatrix, her breathing heavy and tremulous. She looked positively demented.

'Bella, calm down and stop screeching, you're scaring Draco,' said Narcissa, standing up to face her sister.

'What do I care for your snivelling brat?' snapped Bellatrix, pushing her aside. 'Lucius, where is He? Why have our Marks disappeared?'

'I don't know, Bellatrix, and don't speak to my wife and son like that,' said Lucius, with more courage than Severus would have credited him with. 'Sit down, and take several deep breaths. Would the Dark Lord want to see you behaving like this, screaming and shouting?'

The words had some effect, and she sat down on the edge of a chair, toying with her wand. Her eyes alighted on Severus. 'Oh, you're here already are you, Snape? How very convenient! Did you have something to do with this?'

'Of course I didn't. My Mark burned then vanished, and so I came to find out if the same had happened to Lucius' too. Something's clearly afoot, but no one at Hogwarts seemed to know what.'

'Oh, so you discussed it with your darling Dumbledore before you left then!' screeched Bellatrix in triumph.

'Since I am at Hogwarts in order to spy for the Dark Lord, it would have been a dereliction of my duty not to. Other than that, I am no wiser than you.'

'Where is He?' wailed Bellatrix, tearing at her hair. 'He could be anywhere, hurt, alone! He needs us, He needs me! I must go to Him.'

Bellatrix's hysteria seemed to have had pulled Lucius together. On his feet again, he spoke to Rodolphus and Rabastan, who stood uncomfortably in the background. 'Your Marks have gone? Do you know what plans the Dark Lord had for tonight? Do you know who else might have known?'

'Rookwood, maybe?' said Rabastan, eventually. 'He trusts Rookwood.'

'We need someone to visit all the rest of the inner circle, see if any of them knows anything,' said Lucius. No one jumped up to volunteer. Lucius frowned in thought, then clicked his fingers and shouted, 'Dobby!'

The elf appeared at his side a moment later. Half of its face was swollen and bleeding, the big ear torn. It dripped blood onto the carpet. Lucius gave Bellatrix a disgusted look. 'Did you have to blast my elf's head half off? These things cost a fortune.' He turned to address the elf, which cowered beneath him, trying to cover its wounds. Making an exasperated noise, he looked at Severus. 'Can't you do anything? Are you able to heal these things?'

Glad of the chance to do something, Severus shrugged. 'I can try. Come here, elf.' He reached out with his wand and whispered the enchantment, concentrating hard to knit the sides of the wound together. To his surprise, it worked rather well. The elf prostrated itself at his feet.

'Master is kind, master is great, master is beneficent!' it began, in its quavering voice.

Lucius interrupted. 'That's enough, Dobby. I have a job for you. I need you to go the following houses and ask if anyone has information about the Dark Lord or what has happened to him. I forbid you to speak of this to anyone other than those I list or their elves, and if anyone is present in the house that is not known to you, you must not speak. Is that clear?' Lucius waited for the creature to nod before reeling off a list of the senior Death Eaters. Dobby bowed, and disapparated.

Bellatrix gave a low, nasty laugh. 'If that elf gets caught they'll trace it straight back to you, Lucius.'

'It's a risk we'll have to take,' he said shortly. 'Severus, come with me. I need your assistance.'

'Where are you going?' demanded Bellatrix.

'I was under the impression this was my house. I wasn't aware I had to answer to you for my movements. Narcissa, would you entertain your sister and the Lestranges please?' Lucius swept out of the room, clicking his fingers at Severus just as he had at Dobby.

In the hallway Lucius led the way up the stairs. He spoke in a low voice to Severus as they reached the landing. 'I have certain items around the house that I wouldn't want the Ministry to find. There's a secure hiding place under the drawing room floor. I'm going to move everything there.' Lucius led the way into his study and lit the lamps with a flick of his wand. He began collecting things up, shoving a black book, a wooden box and a container full of tiny jars at Severus.

It was mid-morning when Dobby returned. They had transferred anything that might incriminate Lucius into the room beneath the drawing room – which was almost as large as the whole living room in Severus' childhood home. Bellatrix muttered feverishly with her husband and brother-in-law in the corner, whilst Narcissa dozed, the baby still in her arms fast asleep.

The arrival of the elf galvanised everyone into action. Bellatrix grabbed it within moments of its appearance. 'Well?! What have you discovered? Speak now, quickly!'

Terrified, Dobby gabbled out his account at such speed and pitch they had to get him to repeat parts. 'No one knows anything! Dobby speaks to the people on Master's list, or to their elves, but no one knows! No one tells Dobby! Everywhere Dobby goes, people is panicking, frightened! They is burning their masks and their robes! Some has their elves packing trunks. Some was angry to see Dobby, others wanted Dobby to tell them all the things Master is asking Dobby to find out from _them_! No one knows where He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has gone.'

'If I find you're lying, elf…' began Bellatrix, but Lucius pulled the elf from her clutches.

'Why would it lie?' he asked wearily. 'Dobby, you may go. Make us some breakfast.'

'Breakfast?! Is that all you can think of, at such a time? Breakfast? Never mind bloody breakfast, what are we going to do?'

'Bellatrix, starvation is unlikely to produce an answer, and the baby needs to eat if no one else.'

'Oh yes, the baby, your blasted baby, that's the only thing you ever think of these days. Who gives a fig about your stupid witless baby when the Dark Lord is in danger?' Her fanatical eyes were suddenly bright with tears. 'He could be anywhere, hurt and alone! He needs us to find Him, to help Him!'

'He is almost certainly dead,' said Lucius firmly.

Bellatrix moved her wand so fast that even Severus didn't react in time. Lucius gasped and his hand flew to his face, where an angry red weal had appeared down his cheek. 'Take that back!' screeched Bella, sounding positively unhinged. 'Take that back, you filth!'

'Don't speak to Lucius like that!' snapped Narcissa, stepping forwards.

'Keep out of it, Cissy,' spat Bellatrix. 'You never had the balls to join up, so you don't get to have a say in what happens now.'

'Never had the balls?' retorted Cissy, her eyes flashing. To Severus' huge alarm, she shoved the baby into his arms, and stepped forwards to confront her sister. Draco looked at Severus with equal horror, his lip trembling but too startled to even start crying.

Narcissa had drawn herself up to her full impressive height and her wand was in her hand. 'You fool. I'm the only one amongst us with any sense. Didn't I tell you this would happen? Dark Lords rise, and inevitably they fall, and when they do they take their followers down with them. Now at least one of us has a chance of staying out of Azkaban!'

'I don't care about Azkaban, I care only about Him!' declared Bellatrix. 'I would rather spend a lifetime in Azkaban, and know I did all I could to serve Him when I could, than have stood by like you have and sold out my principles for an easy life.'

'I haven't sold out my principles, I just think there are better ways of achieving them than getting caught up in the crazy schemes of some self-styled Dark Lord. No!' The last was in response to Bellatrix's hex, which Narcissa blocked with a surprisingly effective silent shield charm. She was forced to block again as her sister threw another curse, and within seconds they were duelling. Draco, seeing his mother fighting, began to bawl loudly.

'Doesn't that brat ever shut up?' yelled Bella, shooting a spell directly at the screaming baby. Severus spun, shielding Draco with his body. He was pitched forwards by the force of the spell, which knocked all the breath out of him.

Narcissa's scream of rage drowned out all other sounds. 'How dare you? How dare you try to hurt my baby! Get out! Get out of my house!' She emphasised her words with a string of hexes, which Bellatrix was forced to back away in order to avoid.

The Malfoys between them drove the Lestranges into the hallway. Severus, still clutching the boy, remained on the floor gasping for breath. 'Don't worry, we are going,' he heard Bellatrix shout. 'I haven't got time to waste here, whilst you squirm and try to cover your backs. I'm going out there, where you all should be, to find the Dark Lord and save Him.'

The door slammed, and moments later Narcissa was back in the room, tearing the sobbing Draco from Severus' arms. Lucius was right behind her. 'Is he hurt?' he asked anxiously.

'I'm fine,' said Severus, getting up.

'He meant the baby,' snapped Narcissa, fussing over Draco, smoothing his fine blond hair down over the dome of his little head.

'Well, that's the Lestranges gone,' said Lucius, rather unnecessarily. Having satisfied himself that Draco was all right, he sat down in a chair and put his head in his hands. Severus sat opposite him and felt like doing the same.

Narcissa crouched next to Lucius and said her husband's name, softly at first, and then sharply. 'Lucius! Pull yourself together. We have to think what to do.'

'I don't know what to do!' exclaimed Lucius, his face eloquent with despair. 'This is all so unfair, such rotten luck! I could go to jail – I can't go to jail, Cissy, I can't! It would kill me.'

'Then we'd better think of a way to avoid it, hadn't we?' said Narcissa, setting her mouth in a tight straight line and raising her chin. 'If you think I'm going to sit back and watch my husband – my son's father – go to prison, you've got another think coming.' She shot a look at Severus. 'Come on, Snape. You're supposed to be a genius. What do you suggest we do?'

Severus shook his head, unsure of what to say. His mind was whirling with thoughts, some of them so terrible that he couldn't bear to allow them through and had to try to shut them away. He forced himself to focus on the Malfoys and their predicament. Whatever else had happened, he couldn't just abandon Lucius. Their paths in life were too tightly entwined to walk away, even though he knew objectively that Malfoy had brought this on himself.

He began to speak without knowing exactly how he was going to end the sentence. 'If He is gone – and it seems He is, then it won't be long before the Ministry acts. They're going to start rounding up Death Eaters as fast as they can, they'll want to capitalise on the shock and the disorientation… It's unlikely your name will stay out of it Lucius, no matter how careful you've been. With Him gone, it only needs one person to talk… and we've never been exactly discrete about our views.'

'They won't be able to prove anything,' said Lucius, not sounding sure.

'That rather depends on how much 'proof' the Ministry cares about. You can't take the risk. You need a cover story.'

'I could say I was under Imperius,' suggested Lucius, his eyes wide and childlike. 'They might believe that.'

Severus considered this, and then nodded. 'That's probably best. I can back it up. Remember, they think I'm on the side of good – I've played my part well enough for Dumbledore to believe that. I can confirm that you were under the control of the Dark Lord – we could say he was after your money. I could also imply that you were part of my intelligence network, to Dumbledore at least.'

'Are you able to lie to him that well?' asked Lucius doubtfully.

'I've managed to deceive him so far,' pointed out Severus. 'Besides, it's the best we can do. Now listen, it's a risk, but I think you should go and give yourself up.'

'What?' gasped Narcissa, half rising. 'No, no, he can't do that!'

'He must. Think about it. If Lucius was under Imperius, the curse would have broken as soon as the Dark Lord fell. He would now be feeling terrible, racked with guilt, knowing all the things he had done. He would go straight to the Ministry to explain and offer what help he could. Also, if you go now, you have the advantage of them being shocked and busy. They won't question you as thoroughly.'

'It's too dangerous,' said Narcissa at once. 'We don't know for sure that anyone's going to point the finger at Lucius. He has been careful, and the name of Malfoy does count for something you know, even amongst Ministry folk. It's much too big a risk. Surely we can…'

'No. It's a risk _not _to. It won't be nearly as believable if you only come up with it after they've caught you. If you give yourself up you put them on the back foot, you regain some control. It is risky, but so is everything right now. It's a bloody risky situation.' They stared at each other in desperation.

'What if they give him Veritaserum?' asked Narcissa.

Severus reached into his robes and removed a capsule. 'Anti-serum. They gave it to me in case I got questioned when I 'converted'. Fortunately I never needed it. Lucius has greater need of it now.'

'Thanks,' said Lucius, taking the capsule and staring at it as though it might present him with the answers he needed. 'Do you know, I think Severus might be right. I have contacts in the Ministry, people on the other side. People sympathetic to me, politicians whose parties need a little donation to fund their next election campaign. I can go to one of them. Jasper Hendricks, maybe. He and father go way back.' He turned to Severus. 'Do you think you can say enough to corroborate me, without making it obvious that you're covering? People know we are close friends, after all.'

'They believe I'm on their side, that I'm their noble spy. I don't have to say that you definitely aren't a Death Eater – I can't do that under the terms of the Dark Lord's enchantment anyway. But I can make sure I misdirect them enough, saying they were Imperiusing wealthy people, that I have no knowledge of you ever taking part of your own accord, that you wanted to help me in the fight for the side of good. I know you don't believe it, but I'm _good _at lying.'

Lucius opened his mouth to answer, but Narcissa cut across him. 'Noble spy?' she asked. 'What do you mean, spy? I thought you told them you'd left the Death Eaters.'

Severus squirmed a little. 'I told them, but they suspected I was still a member. So I said I was but I wanted to spy for them, and so I passed them false information. It was easy enough to make things up. They only thought I was low ranked, so it didn't matter I couldn't give them anything very useful. It doesn't really make any difference now.'

Narcissa was looking very hard at him. Eventually she said, 'Both sides seem to think you are their loyal spy, Severus. We can't both be right.'

'Dumbledore said something like to me once,' he said, with a wry smile. 'But doesn't this just prove what I'm saying? I'm far better at persuasion than you give me credit for. As for whose side I'm on, Lucius knows me better than anyone else in this world.' He turned to his best friend and looked him dead in the eye. 'Which side do you think I'm on?'

Malfoy hesitated for only a moment. 'Ours, of course. Honestly Cissy, how can you doubt Severus, after all he's done for us? Protected Draco from your mad sister, saved my life I don't know how many times… And he's here now, isn't he? Where are the rest of them? All booking one way tickets to Brazil and burning their dark artefacts.'

For a second Narcissa looked from one to the other, and then sagged slightly and nodded. 'All right. You're right, Lucius. I'm just worried about this giving-yourself-up idea.'

'If you can think of a better one, then feel free to suggest it,' said Severus, trying to keep the triumph from his voice. 'As Lucius says, all the rest are busy running or hiding. No one else will have the bottle to brazen it out. Aurors like the chase, and they're going to have a lot of fun chasing our friends out there. Someone who gives themselves up is inherently boring, and Lucius will slip under the radar.'

'All right, all right.' She held up her hands in mock surrender. 'You've convinced me. It's not like we have much other option.'

'Very well.' Lucius nodded. 'I will go to Ministry this afternoon.' A heavy, miserable silence followed these words, broken only by the baby making meaningless sounds. No one liked to think of Lucius walking into the Ministry to give himself up, not knowing if he'd ever walk out again. Eventually Malfoy said, 'What will you do, Severus?'

Broken from his reverie, Severus tried to ignore the sense of impending doom, of history being made and eras being ended. 'Return to Hogwarts, to maintain my story. It is vital that Dumbledore thinks I am loyal to him. And then it's just a case of sitting it out, I suppose.' He rose to his feet. 'Narcissa,' he said gravely. 'Look after yourself.'

She nodded, her eyes suddenly bright. As he moved to leave, she put out a hand to touch his arm. 'You're a loyal friend, Severus,' she said, then quickly moved away, burying her face in the baby's downy blond head.

Surprised, Severus followed Lucius to the front door. When they reached it, Lucius said, 'We probably shouldn't see each other for a while now, whilst it all dies down. We don't want people associating us too closely.'

Severus nodded. He had bigger, more painful possibilities on his mind now than even the thought of losing Lucius' friendship. 'You're right, Lucius,' he said softly.

'And Severus? Listen. If this gamble doesn't work – if I end up in Azkaban,' his voice shook slightly at the word, 'will you promise me that you will take care of Narcissa and Draco, as best you can?'

Still numb of feeling, he nodded again. 'We have a deal,' he said flatly, and the words made him almost want to laugh, or cry.

'Well, so long then,' said Malfoy, clasping his hand. They shook for a moment, then Lucius quickly pulled him into an embrace. 'Be careful.'

Severus couldn't bring himself to speak, so he left the house silently. Outside it was cold and the sun was setting. The familiar crunch of the gravel under his feet echoed around his head. He glanced back at the house, with its diamond paned windows and turrets. Lucius had already closed the door. At the end of the drive he disapparated, not knowing if he would see the Manor or the Malfoys again.

Author's notes

Thank you as always to all readers and reviewers. Only one chapter left to go. Work on the sequel is progressing well. I realised last week that previous chapters on FFN have uploaded without the section breaks in place, making for some odd juxtapositions between scene changes. Sorry for any frustration this has caused to readers. I've now changed the symbol I use for section breaks to one that works and will go back through and re-upload.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – The End of the Beginning

Severus arrived back at Hogwarts fighting a surreal sensation that he was living in an endless dream. A part of him wanted to remain at Malfoy Manor, shut away with his friends, thinking only of how to cover their tracks. But that option wasn't available, and so with a sense of grim inevitability he strode through the grounds. He was tired and hungry but he didn't even hesitate at the stairs that led down to the dungeons and his rooms. Instead he marched directly to the concealed staircase that led to Dumbledore's quarters.

'Come in, Severus.' The voice from beyond the door sounded weary. Severus pushed it open to reveal Dumbledore seated at his desk, viewing him from above the tops of his spectacles. 'Come and sit down.' He indicated the chair opposite his desk.

It seemed to take an eternity to cross the floor. All the time he shot wary glances at the Headmaster, but felt unable to hold his gaze. Finally he was seated, and looked up into those blue eyes. Now he was there, all thoughts of small talk and procrastination were gone, and he asked the only question that mattered to him. 'Is Lily safe?'

Dumbledore took a little intact of breath, before saying in a very gentle voice, 'I'm very sorry Severus. She is dead. Voldemort tracked them down, and she and James were killed.'

Even though he'd known it deep down all along, the news still hit him like a physical blow. His head spun, he did not know if he cried out or slumped or froze. It took him a minute to even make sense of the words. Dead. Gone. It was too late. He'd never speak to her again, never see her again. All the unlikely but precious hopes he'd had of eventually reconciling with her were now wiped out. No amount of wishful and creative thinking could make things right now.

'No.' He spoke the word so softly that it was barely a breath. 'No. No! No!' He began to cry, trying to release the awful anguish within through his voice. He didn't care how dreadful he sounded, he didn't care that the portraits of past headteachers winced and tutted at this display of raw emotion. Dumbledore rose and came to stand behind Severus, putting a useless hand on the younger man's shoulder as he wept.

'I thought you were going to keep her safe!' he finally managed to say, when the initial outpouring of grief allowed for other thoughts to creep in.

'She and James put their faith in the wrong person. Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping Lord Voldemort would save her?'

Had he not been in such distress, he might have pointed out that he hadn't put any faith in Voldemort saving her. That was how he came to be there, spying for Dumbledore in the first place. He'd hoped that if one of the two greatest living wizards failed to preserve her, the other might. But what did it matter now? She had been condemned to death from the very moment that Severus had repeated the words of that damn prophecy to Voldemort.

'Her boy survives,' said Dumbledore softly.

The words barely made an impression through the fog of misery. He flicked the thought away. What did that matter if Lily was dead? Nothing mattered but that fact. He couldn't care less if the child survived or not. It wouldn't bring back the mother.

Dumbledore repeated in a louder voice, 'Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evans' eyes, I am sure?'

'DON'T!' screamed Severus, recoiling from the image Dumbledore's words conjured up. Remember? He sometimes thought about those eyes for minutes at a time, saw them in his dreams. He knew those eyes as well, if not better, than his own. And he would never see them again in life. 'Gone… dead…' he gasped, forcing himself to face the fact those eyes were no more.

'Is this remorse, Severus?' asked Dumbledore, in a tone of academic interest.

Severus stared at Dumbledore, wondering how the old bastard could mistake such severe distress for anything but. But remorse wasn't a big enough word to express the level of sorrow and regret he felt. 'I wish… I wish I were dead,' he blurted out, meaning it.

This didn't seem to impress Dumbledore in the slightest. 'And what use would that be to anyone? If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear.'

It took a few moments for Severus to process the words. Surely he'd misheard? His way forward had never been less clear in his miserable existence so far. The only thing that had given him direction, true purpose, was gone. In fact, the only direction he could see was the one involving a goblet of poison – a proper poison this time – and burial in a pauper's grave. But Dumbledore had just indicated that wasn't the course he had in mind. 'What – what do you mean?' he asked eventually.

'You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son.'

Baffled, Severus stared back at the old man. 'He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone…'

'The Dark Lord will return,' interrupted Dumbledore, in a tone so matter-of-fact he might have been commenting on the weather. 'And Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does.'

Severus allowed the words to percolate through his consciousness. Voldemort would return… well, that made sense. He did not question how Dumbledore knew it, but it did not surprise him. And it went without saying that Harry Potter's life expectancy would be very brief indeed when that happened. But Severus protecting him? When he'd made such a dreadful job of protecting Lily herself, he doubted his ability to save her son from such overwhelming odds.

But what else could he do? Dumbledore was right. Severus' death would serve no more purpose than his life had done. And the baby had been something Lily cared about. She had died to protect it, of that he was sure without even knowing the exact circumstances. He closed his eyes and brought Lily's face into his mind, and asked himself, _What would Lily want me to do?_ And he knew the answer straight away.

'Very well. Very well,' he said, nodding slightly. An unpleasant thought occurred to him. 'But never – never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us. Swear it! I cannot bear… especially Potter's son… I want your word!'

'My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the very best of you?' said Dumbledore wearily. Severus nodded fiercely. He had a sudden vision, of a faceless boy sniggering at the stupid lovelorn Professor who was pining in unrequited love for a woman who had preferred another man. The thought was unbearable. Dumbledore sighed, 'If you must… but I wish you would see that your love for Lily is your greatest strength, not the weakness and source of shame that you seem to consider it.'

'Tell me what happened,' he asked quietly. 'I want to know…'

'Why torture yourself?' asked Dumbledore, then seeing Severus' face sighed and returned to his seat behind the desk. 'Very well. Events are still not entirely clear, although I have spent most of the day piecing them together. Voldemort discovered the whereabouts of Lily and James. He arrived at their cottage. They were not expecting it – they believed themselves safe.'

'We all believed them safe,' whispered Severus, bitterly.

'James rushed to head off Voldemort, whilst Lily ran upstairs to the baby. Of course, Voldemort had placed an anti-apparation jinx and sealed the doors, windows and fireplaces. Escape was impossible. However Lily, as you know, was a talented and resourceful witch. She used the very limited time available to enact some charms, using the old magic. As you know, she had a talent for charms, and a keen interest in what you might term 'natural magic' or 'old magic'.'

Severus nodded slightly. He remembered Lily occasionally talking about such things. They had always seemed dull to him, and he'd found her fascination incomprehensible. New magic was what excited him, innovation. Old things were best forgotten.

Dumbledore continued. 'She enacted magic that she hoped would protect the boy. When Voldemort entered the room, she placed herself between the baby and him, and naturally, he killed her – as she knew he would. With her death, Voldemort unwittingly activated the charms. When he tried to kill Harry, the curse rebounded somehow. Voldemort was destroyed – or at least, his body was – and the resulting thaumic explosion caused severe damage to the house. But Harry Potter survived unharmed, apart from a scar on his forehead.'

'It must have been strong magic,' said Severus eventually, 'to cause the amount of destruction you say.'

'Yes,' said Dumbledore thoughtfully, drumming his fingers. 'Of course, the power Voldemort would have put behind the killing curse would have been considerable. But it does not account for the full effects. One wonders if some other magic was going on… but we shall probably never know. Or of course… ah…'

'What?'

Dumbledore took a moment more to think before answering slowly. 'Of course… it is possible that Voldemort may have honoured your request. He may have given Lily the option not to die. If he did that… it would have increased the value of her sacrifice – although it is one that any mother would make. Yes… that would account for some of the additional effect…'

Severus made a bitter sound. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, that his desperate attempt to save Lily's life may have simply contributed to the success of her demise. 'What happened to the Dark Lord?' he asked.

'That I don't know, precisely. He will be severely weakened, without a body. A disembodied spirit. It is likely he will lie low somewhere, regaining his strength. It may take months, it may take many years. One thing is sure though, he will find a way back eventually.'

'So we just wait till then?' Long years stretched ahead of Severus, empty years without Lily.

'Indeed we must.' Dumbledore placed both hands on his desk to signify the end of the discussion, but something else had entered Severus' distressed mind.

'Black! What about Black? He… he betrayed them! He sold them out! Where is he?' He jumped to his feet, wand in hand, as if Black might be lurking there in the office.

Dumbledore made the slightest movement of his hand and Severus found himself seated again, wand back in his pocket. 'Sirius is in Azkaban,' he said wearily. 'Poor Peter Pettigrew hunted him down and confronted him. I'm afraid Sirius killed him and a large number of Muggles, before being arrested. He will spend the rest of his life behind bars, that is for sure.'

'It's too good for him,' whispered Severus.

Dumbledore looked older and sadder than he had at any other time during their miserable conversation. 'Really? A lifetime locked up in close proximity to dementors? Eighty, maybe a hundred years of deepest despair? I think that is worse than even anything you could inflict on him.' He sighed very deeply. 'Now, Severus, you should go and get some rest. You look exhausted.'

Severus doubted that he would ever sleep properly again. But his energy was gone, and he allowed himself to be steered out of the office, and into the grim future.

/

Severus lay in bed, his eyes stinging from crying, the covers pulled up over his head. He alternated between feeling numb, and feeling so much pain that only hard liquor could remove it. The days went past. He kept the door shut and locked. He knew nothing of what was going on outside, and cared even less. The fate of his Death Eater friends, the whereabouts of Lily's son, the Potions progress of his students – it was all irrelevant and meaningless.

He lay, reliving memories of Lily over and over in his head. Lily and him running across the moor in the rain, laughing. Lily when he first met her, flying from the swings in the park back home. Lily telling him he was her best friend. Lily…

A rapping on the door broke into his memories, and he retreated further under his covers. Whoever it was would go away sooner or later. The knocking continued, loud and insistent. Eventually there was flash, and the door flew open. Alarmed, he sat up, clutching his covers. He'd thought the locking charm he'd put on that door was practically unbreakable.

Minerva McGonagall was standing in the doorway, looking around the room with undisguised disgust on her face. Seeing him staring at her, she strode over and pulled the covers off him. 'Right, this has gone on long enough, Severus. Go and take a shower and put on clean robes right now.'

He stared up at his former teacher and now colleague. She glared at him. 'You heard me. You've wallowed for too long. Look at the state of this room! You should be ashamed. Now go and clean yourself up immediately. So help me, if I have to come in and scrub you myself I will do!'

Realising that she meant every word of it, he hastily scrambled out of the bed and into the bathroom. He made a half-hearted attempt at showering and dressed in fresh robes. When he returned to the bedroom, McGonagall was instructing several house-elves in a clean-up operation. She turned to look at him. 'That's better. Now get your shoes on and come with me. It's high time you had some fresh air.'

He made a feeble noise of protest, but seeing her face he obeyed. She linked her arm firmly through his, and towed him out. 'The students will see me,' he whimpered, as she strode along past the Slytherin common room.

'You're a teacher, man. Being seen by students is an occupational hazard,' she remarked drily. They passed a pair of girls who gave them the most cursory of glances. 'You see? They barely notice our existence. Wrapped up in their own lives.'

They passed through the rest of the castle in silence. Outside was cold, clear and crisp. McGonagall steered him onto the path that led around the lake, drawing in a deep breath of air. 'Ah, that's a good tonic,' she said.

Severus thought that it would take more than fresh air to make his problems go away. But reluctantly he had to admit to himself that he did feel a bit better. McGonagall pointed out fairy nests in the yew trees and kept up a running commentary on the weather. Severus had never had much skill for small talk, and supplied his part of the conversation with grunts.

Suddenly McGonagall said, 'Albus has told people about how you spied on You-Know-Who. That must have taken some courage. Worthy of a Gryffindor, I would say.'

'Coming from you, I suppose I must take that as a compliment,' he said, with something like a smile.

'It was meant as one. You risked a great deal. And now… I suppose it makes things rather difficult with your old social circle.'

'They never liked me much anyway,' he relied gloomily, reflecting that it was true. 'They only tolerated me because of Malfoy.'

'I understand Mr Malfoy has been making hearts bleed with his tales of coercion. Trapped under the Imperius curse. His memories are apparently terribly hazy for years. But fortunately he can still remember how to access his Gringott's account. Very generous, Lucius has been already with his donations. I understand St Mungo's is considering naming a ward after him.' She made a noise of disgust and shook her head.

'Lucius isn't a bad person,' said Severus quietly, feeling a mixture of relief that Malfoy seemed to have got away with it, and sadness that he could no longer see his friend. 'He only cares about himself really, and his family. His sense of self-preservation is far too strong to get involved in anything dangerous, and he's not the type to kow-tow to anyone, not even the Dark Lord.'

'So the argument goes,' sniffed McGonagall. 'You'll forgive me for having my doubts.'

'Malfoy is no threat to anyone,' said Severus with a touch of impatience. 'He's not a killer. He's too lazy to have any real interest in dangerous dark magic. Let him give money to help others out. He'll do more good doing that than he would in jail.' Keen to move the subject on from Lucius, he continued, 'What about other Death Eaters? Have they caught many?'

'Some. Of course, there's the Lestranges.' A grim look came over McGonagall's face.

'What happened?' he asked, not sure he wanted to know. He remembered the mad fervour in Lucius' in-laws as they departed Malfoy Manor the day after Voldemort fell.

'They captured the Aurors, Frank and Alice Longbottom,' began McGonagall in a strangled voice. 'For some reason they believed the Longbottoms may know the whereabouts of You-Know-Who, and tried to torture the information from them-' Her voice trembled for moment and she swallowed hard before she continued. 'They didn't even deny it, when the rest of the Aurors caught up with them. As for poor Frank and Alice… it was too late. They've been shut up on the long stay ward at St Mungo's.' She looked away, and took a moment before she spoke again. 'It came as a terrible shock, I must say. We'd all got used to the idea things were going back to normal, that the horror had stopped at last. It seemed worse, somehow, than even all the other terrible things that have happened in this war.'

For the first time since Dumbledore had told him about Lily, he felt a genuine sense of sorrow on behalf of another person. He realised that he rather liked McGonagall, despite their differences in opinion. He placed a hand on McGonagall's arm. 'I'm sorry,' he said, and he meant it. 'What about their boy?'

She dabbed her eyes quickly. 'He was saved, they pushed him into a Vanishing Cabinet. He's with his Grandmother now. The poor little thing. No child should lose both parents, especially at such a young age. And of course, there's poor little Harry Potter too.'

'What happened to him?' asked Severus

'Harry Potter? Dumbledore has sent him to live with his Aunt and Uncle.' She sounded no more approving than she had of Lucius.

'Petunia?' he gasped, horrified. 'He's sent the boy to live with Petunia?'

She looked at him sidelong. 'Yes. She has a child of much the same age, they live in a Muggle neighbourhood, somewhere in the south. They are the only living family the boy has left, and Dumbledore felt it was important for him to be brought up by his flesh and blood. Dumbledore says the child will be safe there, he has put every possible protection in place. '

This seemed highly doubtful to Severus, but thoughts of the child were too painful, so he pushed them away. They walked on in silence for a while. Then McGonagall said, 'The rest of the faculty have been covering your lessons.'

'I thought Dumbledore might have got Sluggy back,' replied Severus, though in all honesty it was the first time he'd given it any thought at all.

'Horace is licking his wounds in private,' sniffed McGonagall. 'Of course, most of us already have near full timetables, so Sybil has ended up taking most of your classes…'

'Trelawney?' he yelped, trying to imagine the be-shawled old fraud in his classroom.

'Yes. It hasn't been very successful I'm afraid. There was an unfortunate incident yesterday when she was trying to teach the third years to make a Chaemelic Concoction. I understand that all of the victims are expected to return to their proper colour within a few days.' She stole a quick glance at him. 'So all in all, it's high time they had a proper teacher back. Not to mention that the students of Slytherin House need strong leadership now perhaps more than at any other time in the house's history.'

'I don't know if I can,' he said, honestly. The thought of standing inside a classroom again, all those hateful little faces staring back at him, made him shudder.

'For goodness sake man, you've spent the last year spying on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Controlling a few eleven year olds is surely child's play by comparison!' She paused, and continued in a quieter voice. 'Severus, I know you were once a Death Eater, but you did the right thing. You returned to us, you risked your life to spy for us. You cannot blame yourself for the death of the Potters, or the torture of the Longbottoms. Not since you had your change of heart…'

'I never had a change of heart!' he exclaimed. Seeing the shock on her face, he elaborated. 'I always felt the same, all the time. I cared about the same things, the same people. I never wanted to be one side or another of a war! I just wanted to be myself, to live my life, to protect the things that matter to me, just like anyone does. Everything I did, I did in order to do that. I just did what I had to do.' He shook his head sadly. 'It made no difference in the end though.'

'Who knows what difference it might make in the long term? Cause and effect is not a simple thing, Severus. We often do not understand the true consequences of our actions until many years after the event.' They walked a bit further in silence. 'You had an unhappy time at Hogwarts,' she said suddenly. 'And I am sorry for that. We can't turn back the clock, but you have the opportunity now to help other young people like yourself.'

'What help can I be?' he asked bitterly. 'It isn't like I've made a great success of my life. Who am I to advise others?'

'You could help them not make the same mistakes you did. You have the opportunity to be the teacher that Horace, for all his strengths, was not. Even handed and impartial. A champion for the underdog. The students of Slytherin need a role model they can relate to, but who offers a viable alternative to the philosophy of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I often think of that argument we had, when you first applied for a job here. You accused me of indoctrinating students.'

'No, I said that you and Dumbledore should allow people with different points of view teach in the school.'

'And perhaps you were right.' She smiled slightly at his look of surprise. 'I don't mean people who believed completely in the philosophy of pure-blood supremacy, mind you. But large numbers of young people, particularly from Slytherin, did join the Death Eaters. Trying to protect them from that clearly didn't have the desired effect. Albus and I tried to shut it out of Hogwarts, and pretend it didn't exist. But maybe what those students needed was someone who could acknowledge their fears without leaving them feeling they had to resort to violence and killing in order to have their opinions heard.'

'You want me to offer a middle way?'

'It's a suggestion, Severus. As you say, you never really had a change of heart. I'm sure you and I would still disagree very strongly on a number of issues around blood status and Muggle rights. Perhaps some of our vulnerable young people need to see someone with different views to Albus and myself, who can nevertheless still work alongside us and does not participate in extremist behaviour.' She gave him a long and piercing look. 'You talk of not having made a difference. But it isn't too late to do that. If there's one good thing about teaching, it's that you really can have a huge influence over people's lives.'

He thought through his options. He'd never wanted to be a teacher, and didn't much want to now. But the alternative was to go back into the world, without the benefit of Lucius' patronage. He would have nowhere to live, no friends and little money. He could return to Healing, but now that presumably there would be very few dark magic related injuries he wasn't sure he'd find it interesting enough. Not to mention that the publication of his role as spy would make him distrusted by both Death Eaters and the authorities.

'What choice do I have?' he said, thinking out loud.

'Not a great deal, so you might as well make the best of it.' She pointed up at the sky. 'Well, if it isn't a rainbow. I'm sure Sybil would tell us that is a portent.'

Severus raised a single eyebrow in reply. And so arm in arm the two colleagues turned back towards Hogwarts, and the uncertain future.

Author's Notes

So that's all for now folks... I'd like to say a huge thank you to all readers, and in particular those who take the time to review. It is a great priviledge to know the stories I so enjoy writing are being read and enjoyed by people across the world. Thank you all. The sequel to this story, 'The Redoubled Agent', is in progress. It's very long, and is going to take me a while yet to finish (and I never start posting until I am finished). Hopefully it will be ready by Christmas 2012. Keep an eye out for it! If you want to be automatically alerted, you could always 'follow' me on , where I think you'll get an email alert when I start posting the new story. What is there to look forward to in the final installment of this epic Snape-fic? Let's see... Lucius and Severus' friendship is tested as never before, history repeats itself as Snape takes Draco Malfoy under his wing, and a certain rule-breaking bespectacled young wizard is going to make Severus' life difficult. Relive the events of canon from Severus' unique viewpoint, right up to the tragic conclusion...


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